Beginner Question

[RLetson]

The variables as I see them:

Setup ("action"), string gauge, and scale length determine how "easy" fretting will be. These also affect the sound, so there will likely be some compromise between comfort and tone.

Player behavior. I just played the "hardest" guitar currently out on a stand (an archtop with a 53-13 set and action set to accommodate swing-rhythm chunking) and noticed that I do indeed press right down to the fingerboard. I suspect that I play all my guitars this way. The advice a viola teacher gave a friend of mine years ago: Don't strangle the neck. That has more to do with joint stress than fingertips, but it's good advice. Press hard enough to get a clean sound, and press in the middle of the space between the frets. That's what I've been doing for sixty years or so.

Individual physiology. I don't think there's a shortcut to developing tough fingertips, and I suspect that there's a good deal of variation in how long it takes different people's fingers to come along. But for most of us, it's just a matter of putting in the time. When the pandemic put a stop to playing out, I almost stopped playing altogether for a few months, and when I started again, my fingers had softened up. It was the longest period of not-playing-much I'd had for 25 years, and it took a week or so to get back in shape. I'm still not playing as much as I did before March 2020, but the fingertips can take a three-hour session without discomfort. (The finger joints are a different matter.)

Your fingers and ears will tell you when you're doing it right. Be patient--but do pay attention to joint pain.

[Jdl25]

Stick with it, it gets better. It is part of the learning curve.

[Nama Ensou]

Originally Posted by Possible?

I can't play for more that a couple minutes...

Everyone here went through the same thing. All things difficult will become easier.

[DBW]

Many people (including my daughter) won't play because it hurts their fingers. You just have to go past that point. It will get better and you will hardly notice after a while.

[Possible?]

Thanks to all for the comments - and encouraging words. More than I expected and much appreciated.

I believe my "finger discomfort" was because I was applying the "death grip" likely because when I couldn't get strings to ring out correctly my natural reaction was to just press harder. I tried the "one string at a time" approach to adjusting the amount of pressure needed by listening to the sound of the string. I still have some pain but I'm not letting that stop me.

I settled in and have been very comfortable with JustinGuitar. Seems he understands the beginner mentality well, like it is "OK if you can't do this or that when just starting off" etc. Justin's first course shows playing the A and D cord (I think they are major but don't quite get major/minor etc.). Each requires three fingers. When trying A my fat fingers just barely fit even coming in to the fret at an angle from the end of the neck although recognizing that that is what he was doing was very helpful. I hit adjacent strings every time still, not sure I will be able to actually play that cord but will keep trying. For D I am not getting the lowest string to ring out not because I am hitting it with my third finger but because I am not applying enough pressure with my middle finger when I reach out to the next fret with my ring finger. Is that normal for a beginner? Seems so weird. String sounds fine until I reach out for the placement of the third finger on the next fret up. That's when my middle finger can't apply enough pressure. I'm perplexed.

The other site I went to was AndyGuitar.com.uk. He has a video for absolute beginner where he plays E minor and A sus2 (whatever that means) but each of those has only 2 fingers down. Those I can play! I can even switch back and forth once per bar. So for me, there is a very big difference between 2 fingers down (so far so good) and three fingers down (not good at all).
I stopped in my local shop (Sam Ash in King of Prussia) to check out the classical guitars they had for sale. The wider neck with strings farther apart was appealing. Wonder if I should have gone that way first before the acoustic. I also looked at the ukuleles thinking that managing four strings might be a better starting place for a true beginner. I'll do whatever is required to gain some traction going forward.

I'll give it a few weeks practicing A and D major. Maybe three times per day for 15 minutes. After two weeks, if I can't ring those chords cleanly then I may have to figure out a different approach.

Thanks again.