Playing Assisted Living, Nursing, Retirement and Memory Care homes: Year end update!

[Methos1979]

Year-end update: Since this was such a popular thread I decided to do a year-end update to how the whole year went, what worked, what didn't, and what next year will look like. Jump to page 4, post #54 or click here to jump directly: Year-end thoughts

Note: Due to the length of information about this post and size limitations, this thread will require at least the first two posts to cover it all!

Update: I've added some more critical/useful information on page two, post #26!

Over the past year I've seen several posts with folks that are 'considering' or 'thinking about' playing at assisted living facilities. For the sake of ease we'll assume the term ‘assisted living’ includes nursing homes, memory care and retirement homes. In many cases you will encounter facilities that cater to multiple types sometimes within the same building although usually with different wings. I am not including hospice care in this write-up since we have no experience with that and I think it would be a much different experience with separate needs. If anyone reading this has direct experience with performing for hospice please feel free to share. My wife and I have an acoustic duo. Prior to the pandemic we had been playing the usual pub/restaurant circuit in our area for a couple years and we were not having much fun for the usual reasons - playing long and tiring shows for half-empty places that could care less about the music you were playing and not getting paid all that much. It was demoralizing. We had just started to think about playing assisted living places and managed to book a few shows which were great and then the pandemic shut everything down for two years.

Coming out of the pandemic we retired in December of 2021 and decided to throw ourselves into breaking into the assisted living circuit. We worked very hard and by the end of 2022 we had played nearly 100 shows. Entering into 2023 we had already booked nearly 150 for 2023 before the year had even started. Needless to say, we have learned a LOT and I thought I would share this information for those that might be considering taking a whack at this. What follows is our basic journey including how we got started getting gigs, the equipment we need/use, the material we perform and last and most importantly, what to expect. Please note that I am detailing the experience of doing this and getting PAID for it! This is an important clarification because doing it on a voluntary basis will have some differences from what I'm describing below. Note that these places have budgets for entertainment. If you are good, they pay fairly well and they will love to have you back. For us it has become a nice little bit of extra income that two early retirees we can certainly use. Win-win.

1.) Get ready, get set, GO! Playing for assisted living residents is not unlike playing for anyone in public with a few minor but important exceptions. First, you really do need to have some game. What does that mean? You should be able to play an hour’s worth of material with confidence in both your instrument and singing. In other words, don't suck at it. These people may be very old, some infirm, some in various stages of dementia, but they are not oblivious. In fact, many are VERY sharp. And while they might be polite to your face, they are still aware if you suck. We played a new place awhile back and after we'd finished we were at the elevator when a woman came up and thanked us so much for playing and being so good. I laughed and said she probably says that to everyone to which she replied with a completely straight face, "No. You guys were great. We get a lot of CRAP in here." And she emphasized the word 'crap'! So, have some game.

2.) Getting the gigs! Getting gigs at assisted living homes is not unlike getting gigs anywhere else. It takes a lot of work and a lot of persistence. Cold calling and emails work best. Activities directors are very busy and they get a LOT of cold calls from people looking to get booked. Some of them are great but some of them are horribly disorganized and drop the ball a LOT. There is also great turnover at the position and they move around a LOT from place to place. Our best luck has been with calling the front desk and asking for the name and email of the Activities Director which they give out freely. Sometimes they will offer to put you through on the phone. 9 times out of 10 that leads to just a voicemail. Leave your info and follow up with an email that states who you are, what you do and directs them to someplace where they can see you in action. For us, we use a Facebook Group page. We took our band page and revamped it to cater to Assisted Living. We include a generic write up of who we are and what we do, a list of songs we perform and some photos of us playing these types of places. The more, the better. We also posted a video of us practicing some of the songs we play at home. You can see what our page looks like but clicking this link here: Scott & Donna Music Facebook Group Page We 'pinned' to the top our mission statement and a video so those always pop up on top. Then we just post as we go. We'll even throw up some photos or short video clips of us at open mics and whatnot. Anything that shows them you've got some game. We tried a website and that did not work well for us. I have found that reaching out to places via Facebook private messages never works.

3.) Gear and Equipment! Okay, so now you've got the gig. What do you need to perform well and be heard? That depends on the place and can vary a LOT. We currently are playing over 30 facilities regularly and each one is different. It's not unlike playing in a pub or restaurant. Some are huge rooms with high ceilings and a lot of people. Some are tiny living rooms in converted homes playing to only a handful of residents. We have 'two modes': The full-blown show and the intimate show. Full-blown is our EV30M stick system PA with two mics and my guitar. The stick systems work great as they can fill a large room with sound or be dialed back to lower volumes for smaller places that still need amplification but any decent acoustic amplifier or powered speaker will do for almost any show. For the tiny rooms we just play and sing acoustically with no amplification. We use a tablet with an app for our song/set list. We travel pretty light, even when it's the full-blown show. I can pack everything up on a little folding cart and we make only one trip. Setup time is about 10 minutes for me. I do usually have a backup guitar and amp in the trunk of the car although I have yet to actually ever need it.

4.) Material - ie: Songs & Setlists! Okay, you're at the gig and ready to rock. So, what do you play? Well, that's up to you, of course. Performers of music fall into a few categories. There are some that do this and play a very simple and childlike assortment of songs like 'Take Me Out To The Ballpark' or 'You Are My Sunshine'. These can go over well at memory care places where the residents are pretty far along in their dementia. Then there are those that are genre specific like playing all Irish tunes or instrument specific like accordion or piano. Then there are those that play only music they (the performer) love like music from their youth, stuff you would usually hear at open mics and whatnot. Good music is good music if it is performed well but if you REALLY want to connect with the residents of these places then you have to play the music THEY grew up with and love. That means knowing your audience and figuring out the time frame. Right now up here in NH, MA and ME that means a lot of songs from the 50's through the early 60's. Patsy Cline, Elvis, Pat Boone, Connie Francis, The Everly Brothers to name a few. I'll post a comprehensive setlist that we are currently playing from. The good news is that many if not most of these songs are relatively easy to play. They are generally short and are generally fairly basic open and bar chords. Then there is tempo. Performing for the elderly is just like performing for a pub crowd: They like music that is peppy and fun. Sure, they love a good ballad but those should be few and far between. They love to sing and clap and tap their toes and some will even get up and dance. You can never really tell what songs are going to go over well until you play them and on any given day a song might over well or might not. We have our favorites that kill every time and those that are hit or miss.

Stay tuned for part two!

[Methos1979]

Part two!

5.) What to expect during a show: This section is about what to expect from the residents and staff during a performance. Like any place you play for money, be on time and ready to go. But also be ready for things to not be ready. Sometimes you arrive and everyone is already there, seated and waiting for you. Most times though they are just being brought or led in. They are usually seated. Some are very alert and responsive. Some stare blankly. Some appear to be, are (or will fall) asleep. Most are happy and looking forward to the show. But some are not. Some look angry. Some are sad. Some will cry, especially during the slow love-ballads. Memory care places are the most diverse. They are usually (and surprisingly) fun because though they have dementia they are sometimes younger and therefore still active and will dance around. We get the most activity from the memory care crowd. It's not always fun though. In most cases there is 'The Wanderer', a resident that just aimlessly walks around like a zombie with no expression. She'll walk right up to you during the performance and then like a Roomba will change direction and walk away. It's disconcerting the first few times you encounter it. Then there is the cute little klepto that rolls around in her wheelchair and attempts to pilfer your stuff from your bags. Be aware and keep a close eye on your gear not in use! But they are all harmless and the good far outweighs the less-than-so. Staff presence and participation also runs the gamut. Some are plentiful and very attentive and in some cases you'll see no one. Each place is different. But the best thing is that - unlike most pubs - you have (quite literally) a captive and attentive crowd that is (mostly) quiet and listening to every song!

6.) The Business End of things: Okay, so now what about getting paid? What do you charge? How about taxes? How serious do I need to be? If you are doing this for money then the venues will almost always require W-9 form. We just print them out ourselves and fill them out. You generally only need to do this once for each venue. You'll need to either have an EIN number (if you form an actual business) or just use your SSN. They will report this income the IRS so it will show up on your end eventually. We chose to form an LLC and get a EIN number so we went that route. We have an accountant that does our taxes for us so I can't comment on doing that yourself. I will say that you should track every expenditure you spend on the business including mileage on your car, tolls, anything you buy for the business such as guitars, amps, gear, strings, capos - you name it - they are all write-offs!. How much should you charge? That depends. Like I said, these places all have budgets for this sort of thing and like most things in life it can vary from venue to venue and I'm sure it's different from region to region. The 'going rate' for top tier music acts up here is $150 for a one hour show. We're considered top-tier so that is our 'sticker price'. We give price breaks to places depending on how far we have to drive as well as the size of the place, how many residents we are playing for and if they book us in advance. So for instance a tiny residence right in our hometown where we don't need to amplify we might play for $75. Places within a half hour drive that book in October for the entire following year and have booked us for the present year get a price break as well, usually between $100 to $125. As a general rule for new places we just charge $150 and if they can't afford that they will tell you and you can decide from there whether you want to work something out for them based on certain factors. If we're an hour out (that is our limit for travel) then it's $150, period. It's a business. Sure, it's fun for us and fun for them but it's a lot of work, time and travel. A few places pay the day of the show but most will mail you a check. Some within a few weeks, sometimes it can take months. Sometimes you've got to stay on them!

7. What about playing for free? Can or should you do this as a volunteer? Sure! If you’re just starting out and looking to feel things out and whatnot it can be a great way to get a feel for it. In fact, that’s how we got started. I came up with the great idea of calling a bunch of places in November and saying we wanted to perform Christmas holiday shows for free. We figured it would be a way to give back during the holidays but also to show the activities directors what we were capable of doing. It worked like a charm. They jumped at the chance for a free holiday show and we booked several local places. Nearly all of them then wanted to hire us to play during the year and we were off and running. Once word got out we were pretty good, some places reached out to us. They all know each other and talk to each other.

In conclusion: It has snowballed into quite a thing and we're really enjoying ourselves. We figure as long as we’re having fun and getting paid we’ll keep doing it. We can see a time when it will likely become a bit much and we can dial it back slowly to just the places we LOVE to play until such a time that we find ourselves playing OUR music at these places! It’s a sobering experience when you realize you are seeing your possible future if you are lucky (?) enough to live that long. Sometimes I leave these places and think maybe I should take up smoking and drinking to speed the process along! Of course I say that in jest but there is a kernel of truth. Sure, there are a few places that are shiny and new and state of the art and the residents seem like they are enjoying themselves. But those are rare. There’s no getting around that these people will never leave these places and they are in the final stretch of their lives and know it. While that can be sad, it also helps drive home that you are providing respite from an often dull and meaningless existence.

Here's our current setlist from which we select enough songs to fill an hour - updated to add new songs plus who does them:

Splish Splash - Bobby Darin
Build Me Up Buttercup - The Foundations
Fever - Peggy Lee
Rock Around The Clock - Bill Haley & His Comets
Stupid Cupid - Connie Francis
Knock Three Times - Tony Orlando & Dawn
Bye Bye Love - The Everly Brothers
Rockin' Robin - Bobby Day
The Way You Look Tonight - Frank Sinatra
Please Mr. Postman - Carpenters
Make The World Go Away - Eddy Arnold
Blue Suede Shoes - Elvis
Wake Up Little Susie - The Everly Brothers
Dream Lover - Bobby Day
Only You - The Platters
Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow - The Shirelles
Walkin' After Midnight - Patsy Cline
My Girl - The Temptations
Heartbreak Hotel - Elvis
On The Road Again - Willie Nelson
Tie A Yellow Ribbon 'Round The Old Oak Tree - Tony Orlando & Dawn
Ain't That A Shame - Fats Domino
I'm Walkin' - Fats Domino
Love Letters In The Sand - Pat Boone
The Great Pretender - The Platters
That'll Be The Day - Buddy Holly
These Boots Are Made For Walking - Nancy Sinatra
Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Judy Garland
Dream A Little Dream Of Me - The Mamas & The Papas
Sweet Caroline - Neil Diamond
Your Cheatin' Heart - Patsy Cline
Big Spender - Peggy Lee
Wake Up Little Susie - The Everly Brothers
Moon River - Audrey Hepburn
Folsom Prison Blues - Johnny Cash
Runaway - Del Shannon
Top Of The World - The Carpenters
The Gambler - Kenny Rogers
Margaritaville - Jimmy Buffet
Leaving On A Jet Plane - John Denver
You Are My Sunshine - Traditional
I Saw Her Standing There - Beatles
Love Me Tender - Elvis Presley
Make The World Go Away - Eddy Arnold
Forever Young - Audra Mae version
Can't Help Falling In Love - Elvis Presley
Gentle On My Mind - Glen Campbell
Crazy - Patsy Cline
Take Me Home Country Roads - John Denver
I Fall To Pieces - Patsy Cline
King Of The Road - Roger Miller
Jailhouse Rock - Elvis Presley
Fly Me To The Moon - Frank Sinatra
What A Wonderful World - Louis Armstrong
All Shook up - Elvis Presley
Hit The Road Jack - Ray Charles
My Eyes Adored You - Frankie Valli
Feeling Good/Put A Spell On You - Nina Simone
Sittin' On The Dock Of The Bay - Otis Redding
Rose Garden - Lynn Anderson
Can't Take My Eyes Off You - Frankie Valli
Stand By Me - Ben E. King
Danny Boy - Danny Thomas
When Irish Eyes Are Smiling - Traditional

[Bob from Brooklyn]

This is invaluable! Thank you!!

[L20A]

Great information.

I also started playing at assisted living homes just before the Covid Shutdown.
I do a solo show.
My set up also depends on the size of the room.
A Bose S1 works most of the time.
My back up is a JBL Eon 1 Tower. Bigger and heavier but works well for larger rooms.
One guitar, plugged in and one vocal mic.

Once I got established, it was easy to get comeback calls.
I try to set up my shows as much as a year in advance when possible.
I try to do around 50 to 60 shows a year, for my own health reasons.

These shows have been both fun and rewarding.

[blackie51]

I sat in with other musicians at the nursing home where my mother was back in 2010. We set up and played the old songs for the 11 people they brought in, all seated in wheel chairs and arranged in a semi-circle in front of us.

All 11 people had their heads down facing their laps with nobody actually watching us perform or singing along. That went on for about 20 minutes or so and then I noticed that one man, who I would have bet was sound asleep, was tapping his foot to the beat on the wheel chair footrest.

Made the whole performance well worth it.

Tom

[Methos1979]

Originally Posted by blackie51

I sat in with other musicians at the nursing home where my mother was back in 2010. We set up and played the old songs for the 11 people they brought in, all seated in wheel chairs and arranged in a semi-circle in front of us.

All 11 people had their heads down facing their laps with nobody actually watching us perform or singing along. That went on for about 20 minutes or so and then I noticed that one man, who I would have bet was sound asleep, was tapping his foot to the beat on the wheel chair footrest.

Made the whole performance well worth it.

Tom

We had a similar experience at one place. There is a woman that I'd seen several times, usually way in the back and she was always curled up in a ball and looked absolutely comatose. The last time we played she was very near to me and I noticed that as soon as we'd start playing a song, one finger would begin to tap IN TIME! It was a profound moment for me. Here I thought this woman hears and sees nothing but she's in there and listening.

[gfirob]

I played in our town’s assisted living facility once, and it was really a pretty nice experience (we did did it gratis because a band member’s wife was the director). One lady sat up very close and sang along with every song, she knew every word to every song. We were later told that she had been a go go dancer in the 60’s so she had plenty of time to learn those songs.

[mercy]

Thank you so much, sticky.

[Skip Ellis]

I would be interested in hearing from anyone who does this as a solo, instrumental ONLY act. Is singing absolutely required? My interests lie solely in solo guitar: Chet/Merle/Doc along with Great American Songbook chord melody. Is this even feasible?

[zeeway]

Thank you, Scott, for taking the time to provide such detail. I play in a group that does a similar thing in our area, playing old time gospel songs…we play for free, so there are usually more opportunities than we have the energy to do…but usually two to three a week. It is tiring, and a hassle, but so rewarding when we can cause a spark. And as you said, it may be our future, too.

[H165]

I was in a 1960s group called "Variety Pack" which was a New Christy Minstrels clone. We played, among other places, the local old folks' homes, and the state mental hospital. We learned many of the above lessons one by one, month after month.

We found that many of the people who attended had been amateur performers, choir members, and even a few ex-pros. They new exactly what was happening, who was good, and who was not.

At Norwalk State Hospital (now DSH-Metropolitan) we had a session that exactly matched the mental-evaluation-facilty scene in the 2004 movie "I'll Be There". Besides having the most hilarious opening musical scene in the history of rock-based movies, the later hospital scene around the piano takes me straight back to that very gig, 58 years ago.

[rstaight]

Originally Posted by Skip Ellis

I would be interested in hearing from anyone who does this as a solo, instrumental ONLY act. Is singing absolutely required? My interests lie solely in solo guitar: Chet/Merle/Doc along with Great American Songbook chord melody. Is this even feasible?

When I was taking lessons 50 years ago my guitar teacher would setup a couple of shows each year at the local nursing facility. The vast majority of the songs were instrumental. Some of those were very bad.

But you know what? The residents enjoyed our playing. It gave them a break in the daily routine. That is one of the experiences that keeps me playing today.

[Claren Guitars]

Scott, excellent post. Invaluable information that'd really benefit performers of every level. Thank you for sharing.

[Inyo]

Quite sobering to consider than not a few folks here at AGF, through the natural course of time's passing, could eventually wind up listening to original poster at one of those facilities as a resident.

At least we'd be entertained enormously, indeed. Great post it was.

[Pine Cone]

Great post.

I have been playing in care homes for a decade now and this is a great summary of what it is like.