How do you cope with people not caring about your music?

[TBman]

Originally Posted by CityPickn

I'm upset so take this with a grain of salt.

I spent a long while learning and crafting a song. Time to memorize it, internalize the rhythm, clear and concise notes. Show it to people who actually know that I put a lot of time into this.

"Oh you should hear Charlie play crazy train...". What? "Your brother Billy had pizza for dinner tonight". They are changing the topic on purpose as if I'm not even aware.

I spent since Sept-friggin-tember on a song and I feel it shows all my lessons paying. Why do I torture myself even showing people? I was proud of it and now I question it.

Right here... You can see why I will never be in a band or gig musician. I can't take people being a jerk to my face. The one person who did it... I've overhead many times before stairway to heaven solo is what they think the apex of guitar. Guess what solo is on the menu? What a sick thrill to pull that out of the bag and ruin it for you. Hardest solo ever?

I learned a long time ago not to be someone else's radio.

[CASD57]

I had the same problem at home, So I shut them out, I would shut my door and play for myself after a while they decided it was better to hear the song over and over(while I learn it) than not hear it at all.

[CityPickn]

Originally Posted by KevWind

First I am confused as to what you are actually saying happened exactly.
From this and your other posts It sounds like.

You may have learned a cover song or you may have written an original piece of music ?
You may be talking about playing the banjo or playing a fiddle or playing a guitar ?
You mention lessons are you a beginner ? ( beginner as say defined as someone playing for 3 years or less )

And have no clue what Stairway to Heaven has to do with it ?


Any way yes rejection can be discouraging but it is part of the process ..
In answer to your title question I care about my music so other people caring (while a nice side benefit) is not a concern or a motivation of why I play............ It is really just as simple as that ...... Carry on

I played in front of my mother, father, and grandmother.

I played Lonesome Moonlight Waltz which is a fiddle tune. I played it on guitar.

After playing while everyone tuned out 0.2 seconds was that my cousin's boyfriend also plays guitar. Then onto a completely new topic.

I have been playing for 1.5 years roughly, about 4 months of lessons. Horribly self taught.

The stairway thing was later on they were talking about something and they all agreed Stairway to Heaven solo was the holy grail of guitar playing. Nobody can match it kind of thing.

Sorry for acting like a baby but I felt like a teenager asking a girl out only for her to say she likes another guy. Really made me vindictive and malicious. I'm fine now. I played for more than usual yesterday, so I didn't skip a beat. I had never crossed this road before and the responses from everyone have really helped. I have a more realistic outlook on expectations now. Just a lesson I had to learn the hard way. Better to do it here than in person or on social media.

Thank you to everybody for understanding. Nobody owes me anything. I said I felt alone when I was down in the dumps. I got over it.


Thanks again.

[Brent Hahn]

In my signature. you'll see "couch songs." Those are songs I'd sit and play on the living room couch. At one point my wife yelled in from the kitchen, "Could you put those on a CD for me?" I yelled back, "Is that so you can just hit a button and make it stop?" She yelled back, "Not necessarily."

[reeve21]

Glad you are feeling better, CP!

When I was a kid trying to learn on a horn my dad used to ask me if I knew "Far, Far Away"

[Methos1979]

Here's the problem: You're already an adult. If you were a child just learning then your parents would most likely be very supportive and lavish you with praise and encouragement even though you were still new and not all that good. Why? That's what parents of children do. But once you're an adult, that goes out the window. Same with friends. By the time you're an adult you're expected to already be good at something or not. Taking it up late in life means you will get NO support from most anyone you know. It's a lonely pursuit.

I know this because I took up guitar at 50. And I was pretty awful for a long time. I mean YEARS. Even when I thought I was getting good and seeing my own improvement, no one else could. If you're a young person in their teens and you go to an open mic and stumble through a tune people will come up and give you all kinds of supportive comments. But if you're 50, they'll do no such thing. They'll just think, "Great, another midlife-crisis poser with a guitar." Taking up something late(r) in life is, unfortunately, the loneliest journey you'll make.

The good news is that if you stick with it long enough you'll eventually be good enough to impress strangers to the point where they'll even pay you to perform. But even then your friends and family will be unimpressed. And that's okay. It's character building and toughens you up for the hard road ahead as a gigging musician. Ask me how I know. Playing for yourself is great fun and very rewarding. Playing for others is an endeavour that will lead to great highs and crushing lows, often in the same gig!!

[FrankHudson]

Originally Posted by reeve21

Glad you are feeling better, CP!

When I was a kid trying to learn on a horn my dad used to ask me if I knew "Far, Far Away"

Beside asking if I could play "Far, Far, Away" my dad's other joke was asking if I could sing a solo -- you know, so low I can't hear you.

[islandguitar]

An interesting thread and it's nice to know you're on a better footing! Some of these experiences broaden and deepen exactly "why" you do what you do and sometimes the answers are hard won, but felt more deeply for that effort. Seems like you've solidified things for yourself with this experience! Bravo!

With my own material.....originals/instrumentals, I'm always of the mindset that I'm curious to see/hear how folks react...if at all. In other words I try and stay above the "personal" and view things from the vantage point of being above it all, if that makes sense. It's like I'm looking down and staying curious about what I'm witnessing. A kind of detachment, while all the while appreciating any nice comments might come my way. People who do listen and respond hear and are affected differently and that's so interesting to me. With others, being "wallpaper" is the name of the game!

I've sent my adult daughters my own music for years and years......not once have they ever written back!! LOL! Oh well...........and yet I still do it, and every now and then I see one of my CD's out at their homes. On the other hand lots of family and friends really look forward to my next pieces.......create their own files with all my stuff and play my music while doing dishes or fixing their car, or hosting dinner parties with my music playing in the background. Imagine!!! I would have never thought!!!

If you're recording yourself at some stage, platforms of music will offer the option to be in front of like minded folks who may write and compliment. Posting here on AGF will also bring you together with folks who know and appreciate your effort and skill.

Enjoy this personal ride.......bring your best and let things take their natural course..... and best wishes to you!!
Fred

[rllink]

Originally Posted by reeve21

When I was a kid trying to learn on a horn my dad used to ask me if I knew "Far, Far Away"

Originally Posted by FrankHudson

Beside asking if I could play "Far, Far, Away" my dad's other joke was asking if I could sing a solo -- you know, so low I can't hear you.

My father-in-law uses both those all the time. And I've never even played or sang in front of him. But he knows that I play at festivals and downtown on the corner once in a while. So he uses those same two "jokes" to start the conversation. "The other night did you sing solo so no one could hear you." And a few others as well. One of his favorites, "Did they pay you to sing or did you have to pay them." I tell him that I would play my guitar and sing him a song, but from my experiences of coming to visit when he's watching TV and seeing what his taste is in entertainment, I don't think that I could actually play and sing bad enough for him to appreciate it. We have a big laugh, pop a beer and watch RFDTV.

[Bushleague]

Originally Posted by CityPickn

I'm upset so take this with a grain of salt.

I spent a long while learning and crafting a song. Time to memorize it, internalize the rhythm, clear and concise notes. Show it to people who actually know that I put a lot of time into this.

"Oh you should hear Charlie play crazy train...". What? "Your brother Billy had pizza for dinner tonight". They are changing the topic on purpose as if I'm not even aware.

I spent since Sept-friggin-tember on a song and I feel it shows all my lessons paying. Why do I torture myself even showing people? I was proud of it and now I question it.

Right here... You can see why I will never be in a band or gig musician. I can't take people being a jerk to my face. The one person who did it... I've overhead many times before stairway to heaven solo is what they think the apex of guitar. Guess what solo is on the menu? What a sick thrill to pull that out of the bag and ruin it for you. Hardest solo ever?

Meh, I just realise how little I care about the majority of other people's music. Once I've taken time to consider exatly how small the percentage of existing music is that I actually like, I can hardly get mad at everyone else for not likeing my music.

[Mooh]

Someone asked me why I even bothered to record my last CD.

"So there's something to play at my funeral."

[CityPickn]

Originally Posted by Mooh

Someone asked me why I even bothered to record my last CD.

"So there's something to play at my funeral."

Lol good comeback.

[rick-slo]

To the original poster one thing to do on this forum if you want more feedback on your Show and Tell posts is to listen to and
comment on what other people are posting on Show and Tell. It goes both ways.

Out in the real world solo guitar or even guitar and voice is a niche product. Even most of the pros at it have a limited audience.

[standup]

I've been playing in bands in bars so long it doesn't bother me.

When we're playing, I can see that there are people focused on the music, and that makes me happy. The people who are there to talk to somebody or to look cool don't bother me in the slightest. They don't really matter to me. Doesn't bring me down.

Play music, play to the listeners.

[EZYPIKINS]

When playing originals, you have to believe in yourself first.

After you play your song, don't wait for people to tell you how good it is.

People are like cows. Following the leader.

They will only admit to liking something. If somebody has told them it's good.

Hence, the music on the radio today.

Play your song, with confidence. As soon as the last note dies out. Play the next song. Don't dwell on it.

Could be the song is a pooper. Hey, they can't all be hits.

Only person that doesn't write anything but hit's is, "Cowboy Bob".

And he is a fictitious figment of my imagination.