Buying and Selling Guitars. When to get help?

[J Patrick]

Like many here I share your affliction and have struggled to contain my impulsive /compulsive behavior. As of late I’m starting to actually overcome it and recently made a promise to myself. I have vowed to not buy any new or used guitars or amps and as I slowly sell off remaining guitars and gear I have vowed not to replace anything but instead put the money in the bank. It’s not that I can’t afford it…it’s that I simply don’t need it. I have found in the past that making a solemn vow to myself is the best way to change my behavior. Sure I backslide sometimes but I find that when I disappoint myself it hits home and encourages me to redouble my efforts.

It has been a year since I bought a guitar and that was a last hurrah of sorts that I waited nearly two years for. I find that I am playing and enjoying the guitars I still own more than ever which is definitely curbing my desire for something new or different.

I don’t know if my way of dealing with this problem will work for others as we’re all wired differently. But I do hope that when a vital transformation is needed we all find a way to make it happen. I’m hoping to hang out here and still learn and contribute when I can. These days I find myself being less interested in NGD threads and more interested in provocative topics like this one…thanks for posting and good luck finding your solution.

[catt]

For so many reasons, guitars/musical instruments are a particularly potent SNO (shiny new object) for folks. So many rationalizations can be made for enabling: The connection with music, our 'creative selves,' purpose, future 'promise,' etc. are among alluring factors, much less the images and stories we tell ourselves, as we weave the guitar into our egos, identities, profundities and superficialities; the guitar represents a lot to us.

Particularly for creatives and folks who tend, through obsession and compulsion and other traits forming the constellation of addicted behavior, to 'over-exploit' it can be especially challenging to manage. Many causative factors involved in the more insidiously negative outcomes are often also factors in productivity.

[waterlooz]

Whatever the root cause is, I wish you the best and as a recovered Guitar Acquisition Addict (albeit no where near your account,) I can report increased skill in playing, music theory, and overall happiness. Whenever I get the urge to consider another guitar, I tell myself no way - ya got more than enough and they need to get played in.

Good Luck!

[Ian111]

Buying/acquiring things is something we can control. These things become substitutes for things we can’t in our lives. Smoking cigarettes was that instant dopamine hit I could get almost anytime anywhere and consistently throughout the day. I think the guitar industry operates the same way constantly coming out with little variables of essentially the same product creating desire. I don’t have any tips on how to break addictive behaviors. I just admitted smoking was negatively controlling my life for too long and it didn’t make me happy anymore. I made smoking my enemy and managed to quit cold turkey after 25 years. Drugs alcohol material things etc are substitutes for happiness. And thats all they are.

Not saying quit playing guitar obviously.

[SalFromChatham]

I feel seen.


Cheers Dave I wish you well and wish you peace.

[rllink]

Originally Posted by Mandobart

Thanks for sharing your story. From reading this forum for many years I believe there are a few others here who also have an unhealthy obsession/addiction with churning through guitars.

Anything in life can start out normal but morph into something unhealthy. I've seen a lot of posts here that either joke about, normalize, condone or encourage the buy/sell/re-buy frenzy that some pursue. And the wide fuzzy line between "enjoyable hobby" and "unhealthy addiction" easily can vary from one person to another.

I think most of us are adults here and responsible for our own actions, but we should recognize that we may be encouraging unhealthy behavior for some individuals with what we post. We wouldn't encourage compulsive gamblers to go to a casino, or overeaters to go to an all-you-can-eat buffet, or for alcoholics to go to a bar....

I think that some people come to internet guitar forums seeking validation that GAS is normal, and they find it here from other people who are seeking to validate.

[Br1ck]

Understanding dopamine is a great start. If craving the dopamine rush affects relationships, it's time to change. I have never had the money nor the inclination to be a compulsive buyer of guitars. I'm not immune, but very controlled about it. What I did a while back was channel GAS into playing better instead. I found playing better to be a much more rewarding high than the temporary GAS rush. The playing better is permanent, better for self esteem, and overall a much happier approach.

It is a good realization to come to. Once you have something like a D 18, learning to play is far more productive for overall well being.

[trumpets]

Really appreciate this post, Dave. As much I’ve loved and learned from this forum over the years, I’ve often thought that if it were a little less focused on shopping and a little more focused on all the other aspects of guitar playing where we might have something to learn from each other, we’d be better off for it.

With all the accomplished players on here, I know I could benefit more from folks’ insights into different areas of technique, say, than from more posts about the minute differences between two ultra-high-end OMs — the unintended result of which is usually to make me feel, absurdly, like my $5000 guitar isn’t good enough and I need to replace it with a $7500 guitar.

I don’t mean to say talking about guitars-as-products can’t be helpful or serve a useful purpose, but it does sometimes seem as if we tend to default to it just because it’s the easiest facet of our enthusiasm to quantify in words — that and we live in a product-focused culture, of course.

[Racerbob]

I've known people with worst impulsive/compulsive addictions. It is a rare individual who can through force of will overcome the problems. Often they just trade one release outlet for another.

Just like AA groups there are similar groups for people with impulsive/compulsive issues. You should search in your area, contact professionals who can guide you to such an environment and then use your self will to stay involved with the group(s) over time. And it likely will take a lot longer than most people think to truly conquer.

Look at Woody Allen, probably the last person he will actually exchanges words with before shuffling off this planet will be a therapist.

[PassingThru]

Very serious and interesting thread. In the last couple of years, I’ve acquired six guitars. I know that’s not a lot but I live in a fifth wheel RV. Ran out of space and spending too much. In the past few months I’ve sold my Fender telecaster, a Martin 000-18 custom, Martin SC13e Special Burst I bought last December, and just sold my Emerald X20 I bought before the big sale this summer. I’m down to an Emerald X7 and a new Martin 000-16. The X7 is the next one to go. I finally realized I only need one guitar for playing and writing. Starting to have some room in the fifth wheel and money is staying in the bank. In a smaller way, Martingitdave, I do understand the problem. It’s hard to recognize the problem, but you have so you are starting the road to recovery. I would go along with the other suggestions to see a therapist. At least long enough to let them help you see the full picture. Then, decide where you want to be in the picture.

[TRose]

Dave,
Good on you for acknowledging the problem. You have my respect, support and well wishes.
Best,
Tom

[truckgoodbar]

This is one of the best posts that I have read in a long time. Thank you all for your honesty. This certainly gives me a lot to reflect on.

[mas30066]

Originally Posted by SalFromChatham

I feel seen.

My life has been a rollercoaster the last dozen years. Aging parents moving in. Passing. Precious kids, older now, with mental health issues. The dealing with bipolar in the family has brought me to the edge a few times. And it never ends.
I buy and sell perfectly good guitars as a total distraction from intense life episodes.

Cheers Dave I wish you well and wish you peace.

It's something to control when life seems beyond it, whether in big ways or small. Mine is a one in/one out/one only circumstance by necessity. I've taken losses before simply to actuate the change that I can't realize elsewhere in my life.

[JGinNJ]

Lots of people here joke about GAS, or post about the exotic bridge pins they bought, etc, so Thanks to the OP for being real about this.

A couple of things come to mind in addressing this problem. One is, it may take some looking to find a therapist who can relate to this as not just a compulsive shopping/spending problem, but through the lens of a musician.

the other thing is, how are you unloading these purchases? It's always easier to buy things, selling take more time & energy, especially if you're mindful of the financial hit. If you think about the hassle ahead of time, you might slow down on the buy side. Kind of like remembering you're going to have a bad hangover if you have any more booze!

[AndrewBCarlson]

I do the same thing, although I'm likely younger so haven't had as much experience with it as you. Fortunately for me, I've been making money on the flipping so far. I sound like a gambler. Just a matter of time till it goes south, so I need to be careful of that attitude.

For the guitar or guitars you want to keep, have another good player play it on front of you. It's very different hearing how good your own guitar sound from the other side of the room. Makes you feel happier with what you have.

I did a group counseling program based on the 12 step program called Freedom Session to help me. Was one of the best and hardest things I've ever done.