On divisiveness and music

[foxo]

Interesting experience tonight. I went to two open mics I hadn’t been to before, both in busy pubs, playing mainly to non-musicians who were spectating.

The first one didn’t go so well. An old lady demanded after a few of my songs that I play something happy. I tried, but I don’t have a lot of happy songs. Someone drummed along to it on the table so I’d assumed that I’d made up for the sadness, but the old lady went on to exclaim loudly to several people that my music “made me want to cut my throat and thank God it’s over”.

This made me feel quite indignant and I decided to play exactly the same set at the next pub as an experiment. Thankfully, it went down a lot better. There were lots of whoops and cheers after all of my songs. Several people came up and congratulated me, shook my hand, asked where they could find more of my music. A much more pleasant experience and my ego feels less bruised!

Not really got any questions, just thought I’d share my experience tonight.

[Horsehockey]

I’m with you all the way. I’m a minor chord guy, the sadder the better. Glad you found a crowd who could appreciate the feelings.

[Jeremy]

That lady definitely wouldn't like my music either.

[frankmcr]

Doesn't hurt to mix it up some though.

[fitness1]

The old adage - you can't please all the people all the time.

Don't give it a second thought. She probably acts like that everywhere she goes.

[TBman]

I have yet to see alcohol make a dumb person smarter or a mean person kinder.

[Steve DeRosa]

Originally Posted by frankmcr

Doesn't hurt to mix it up some though.

Ditto...

Originally Posted by TBman

I have yet to see alcohol make a dumb person smarter or a mean person kinder.

I was told by former bandmates back in the '70s that it made my lead playing faster, and I already knew that a beer or two before a show would extend my upper register comfortably into Roy Orbison territory...

Didn't do much for the dumb or mean though - which, considering some of the places we played back then, wasn't necessarily such a bad thing...

[zuzu]

Did you get her contact info? My music is right up her alley...

[Glennwillow]

Some people cannot handle music even in a minor key let alone stuff that is thoughtful or even sad.

You can't make everyone happy with your music no matter what it's about because each of us has our own ideas about what we want from it.

Nobody bats 1.000 in music anymore than they do in baseball.

- Glenn

[TheGITM]

Originally Posted by foxo

The first one didn’t go so well. An old lady demanded after a few of my songs that I play something happy. I tried, but I don’t have a lot of happy songs. Someone drummed along to it on the table so I’d assumed that I’d made up for the sadness, but the old lady went on to exclaim loudly to several people that my music “made me want to cut my throat and thank God it’s over”.

I think this says more about the lady that it does about your songs.

[Wade Hampton]

Originally Posted by TheGITM

I think this says more about the lady that it does about your songs.

Yep. Sounds like she was three sheets to the wind (or well on her way there) before he even started playing.


whm

[Glennwillow]

I was in a meeting once a fair number of years ago about church music. We had an excellent pianist at this church who was a trained, classical pianist with a masters in piano performance. She was a first class, excellent, professional musician.

In spite of this, someone at this meeting complained that she did not like her choice of music because "it's so mournful." Everyone's mouth just dropped open.

Yes, a fair amount of church music is contemplative, even sad, often in a minor key. But to my ears that's hardly "mournful." That's what church music sounds like, especially the old, traditional stuff out of the hymnals.

I have run across guitar playing church musicians who want everything to sound like a camp song and they cannot stand thoughtful stuff that has any complexity or nuance.

I just shrug my shoulders. You absolutely cannot please everyone. And then there is a whole world of people who are completely unmoved by music of any kind.

If you take the world's most popular band -- let's say it's the Beatles -- there are plenty of people out there who do not like the Beatles' music.

I learned a long time ago that I have to do music that I like, whether I am writing something or whether I am doing a cover, I have to do what I like. If other people like what I like, well, then that works out fine. But if they don't like what I like, why should I be surprised? After all, there's a whole lot of music out there that other people like that I can't stand.

- Glenn

[Bob Womack]

Rick Nelson said it a while back:

But it's all right now
I learned my lesson well
You see, you can't please everyone
So you got to please yourself.

Music is not at all universal. People can be fascinated with music and listen, but music is a language, with a vocabulary and syntax. A person with no knowledge of the vocabulary or syntax simply won't understand it. In fact, their first impression might be to hate it.

Bob

[Silly Moustache]

Hi Neil, Its as well that you have encountered the kind of idiot early on in your career.

This woman demonstrated her ignorance and lack of social skills.
She came to drink, mainly, and to be entertained (for free).
She had no idea of how to behave in a (temporary) music venue.

I dislike "Open Mics" which sadly seem to have replaced Folk Clubs .
Folk clubs (or acoustic Music Clubs had an ethos of "ARTS" - i.e."A Right To Silence".

Inevitably there are going to be artists whose music you don't care for.
If so, as as a viewer you have a choice - shut up and wait, or go to the bar or the loo.

There were people at my local venues whose music (or lack of musicality) I could not stand. I didn't make an issue but would take the opportunity to remove myself for a while.

What can YOU do to hold an audience ?
Well, this is what I do.
Let's assume a three song spot.

1. A bright compelling, SHORT, and attention grabbing song
2. A mellow /melodic song - very different from the first.
3. An up tempo , rather showy piece to finish.

This change of mood and presentation keep the audience's attention.

At my club, I give them a time spot rather than a number of songs - in the hope that they'll rehearse and ensure that they can do what they want in that time without rushing, and without faffing about. mumbling etc. This also enables me to plan the evening and how to schedule the performers.

I have some regulars who will play wonderfully but only do 10 minutes. That's OK.
I have a male/female couple who ALWAYS go over the fifteen minutes but sing /play nicely and entertain.

Last week at my club a young man joined us to have a 15 minute spot.
He wrote all his own songs which were rather somber - he sang of loves lost, depression and his poverty.

Lots of great songs are about the darker side ... but ... performing is still about entertaining your audience.

Driving home, my wife said -"wasn't that young chap miserable!"
Yes, he was. Why?
Because he was singing as a confessional for himself, not for his audience.

Who is/was the most "miserable singer/songwriter you can think of ?

How about Leonard Cohen? He was still great and in his earlier years, he played as you do on "Bright As A Morning star".
We've discussed this but that is your style - so don't change.
Your vocals on that song are great!

So.. don't be depressed or hurt by one silly woman.
Just ... consider your audience.

Keep going, you're doing fine!

[rmp]

As said already, the problem had nothing to do with you

Some people are just miserable, and..

they want company..