Esteban Contest #3 is HERE!

[mdunn]

As promised here is the Esteban contest Number 3. This time it is a two part contest and I will explain how that will work a couple of paragraphs down. I am going to run part #1 for approximately 2 weeks, so you will have ample time to think; create; and write a good entry.

For those of you who are new to the AGF in the last year or so you might want to brush up on the first two Esteban contests. Here are the links to them. I fixed the links so they should work correctly now.

The first one was to sell your Esteban on E-Bay. You had to write the copy for the ad.

http://www.acousticguitarforum.com/f...ad.php?t=70159

And the second was to write a thank you note to your Aunt Millie who gave you an Esteban for Christmas.

http://www.acousticguitarforum.com/f...ad.php?t=72718


First of all I am pleased to tell you that Aunt Millie is doing very well these days. Shortly after reading all of your thank your notes she checked herself into the Betty Ford Clinic and 4 months of detox and therapy has straightened her right up!. She has returned home and no longer stays up half the night drinking wine and watching infomercials. So, the odds of her buying you another Esteban are slim. She has joined a church group and sings in the choir. She also volunteers in the hospital her late husband practiced at. She sends her best regards to all of you.

Since Esteban and his lawyers have yet to find me I have decided to do another contest. This one will be a two part contest. There is a major prize for the winner and we are going to have to pare down the number of AGF members that can compete for the grand prize, which will be awarded at the completion of part #2. Here is how it will work. Everyone that submits a response to the first part will be judged by me. The field will be narrowed to minimum top 10 or no more than 14 finalists. Fourteen is the maximum number of POLL entries that can be created. Those 10 - 14 will be able to compete for the grand prize in Part 2 of the Esteban contest. You, the members of the AGF, will vote for the Grand Prize winner, second, third, forth etc., from those entries posted in part 2.

I would suggest that you do a little research. Google Esteban Guitars and you will have plenty to look through.

The Grand Prize has been annouced and you will find the announcement on page #2 of this thread. Keep comming back because I will be adding more to the Grand Prize package and all the prizes behind door #3.

So here we go.

You are the new proprietor of (invent the name) Guitar School. You have started this endeavor on a” Wing and a Prayer” and are struggling to get your dream off the ground. You have secured a location (make something up) to hold classes at and there are students; They could be kids 13 to 20; or senior citizens; or any group at all. (Again, invent your student body). The common thread is that all eager to learn to play guitar. The problem is that many of them are too poor to afford a guitar; even an Esteban! They can only learn so much sharing the two old guitars you had in the closet, or playing air guitar and many of them are loosing interest fast.

Your only hope is to somehow acquire guitars for your students to play and practice on. You have exhausted all your leads for guitars of any kind, and in desperation you are turning to the man that has brought the gift of guitar to so many. (One of Esteban’s web sites claims to have sold 150,000 Esteban guitars!)

So write the letter to Esteban and ask him for a bakers dozen (13) guitars for your students. Check his site, because the offering has expanded to classical and electric guitars. Don’t forget the little amplifiers, instructional DVD’s and accessories too!

So be creative, tell Esteban all about your plans for this wonderful school you have created; overstate your credentials as a guitar teacher; tell stories of how bad you and your students need these guitars; make false promises; plead; cajole; do everything in your power to convince the man in black. Remember one wave of the manicured nails and 13 Estebans will be on their way to you. No more sharing, no more air guitar!

Good Luck!
M. Dunn

Esteban Writing Contest Instigator and Curator of the
Esteban Guitar Collection and Appreciation Society, Ltd.

[Stockard]

This could be a script for a horror movie! Imagine just going to the door and finding thirteen (13) Estebans that were delivered by mistake! Where to put them? How to explain to your spouse? Why MY house? How to send them back? on and on ad nauseum.
I can't stand it!!
__________________________________________________ ________________
deliver us all from mass maketing!
__________________________________________________ ________________

Four guitars at home (two loaned out)

[Acoustic Rick]

Sorry but my conscience won't allow me to participate. Plus I'm really afraid I'd end up with 13 Esteban guiars.

[detroitsuperfly]

Dear Mr Esteban,

My name is Pablo. I am the music teacher in the small one room school in my native land of Estebania. We are a poor, yet proud nation. Two things we Estebanians are most proud of is our love for music and the guitar we made entirely of dried mud and strung with the hair of our ancestors. What a fine instrument it is indeed. It even plays the entire range of scales from Ab to B#. But as fine of instrument as it is, we cannot teach all of our children at the school how to play guitar with one single instrument. While I strum the 2 chords that I learned from watching the Esteban informercial, the children imitate what I am doing on a mule leg bone and make the noises of the chord with their mouthes.

Esteban has become a heroic figure to my people.
When the children play in the school yard, the children pretend they are Esteban. Esteban the fantastic, as the children say. My people tell the tales of all the adventures and heroics of Esteban and my village even has a yearly Esteban festival.

We have a Miss Esteban beauty contest:



and a play put on by the children to re-inact the great adventures of Esteban the Fantastic:



Mr Esteban the fantastic, could you in your great mercy and grace provide us with enough of your wonderful guitars and chord charts so we may give the children the gift of guitar? We humbly ask for 13 of each, which would supply all of our children.

Your humble servant,
Pablo

[mdunn]

What a great start!

[detroitsuperfly]

Originally Posted by mdunn

What a great start!

What can I say? My boss is out of town for the week and I'm bored at work.

[placervilledan]

Esteban,

I wet my bed. That may seem like a strange way to start this letter, but in that statement is the genesis of something that I believe will touch many, many lives. I do indeed wet my bed. Often multiple times per night. This is something I have struggled with since I was a child, and as an adult, you can imagine how this has impacted my life. Growing up I could never spend the night at a friend’s house because of my impairment. The one time I did, I woke up my friend who was on the bottom bunk with an unfortunate bath. That was a horrific way to start my junior high career, and the nickname “Rain Man” has stuck with me to this day.

Because of my condition, I spent many long hours awake at night through my high school years (soaking wet of course), and one evening, as I was swimming in my depression, I stumbled across your infomercial. You were my salvation. It was as if someone had pulled the plug on my darkness, and I felt it all drain away as I watched. I had been looking for something that I could channel the frustration and anger of my life toward, and finally found your guitars. I immediately ordered one. It arrived and I began to play with the fury that all those moist nights had generated. For some reason, my fingers bled profusely for the first year. I took it to be a badge of honor amongst players, until someone mentioned something called “action”. As a result of the bleeding, I had to have the tips of my fingers amputated, and now they resemble small clubs of irregular length.

So there I was, a bed-wetting amputee. But I had you, Esteban, my salvation. Your strength and persona kept me alive through those many dark, damp nights.

And now the reason for my letter. I have had a great amount of time to study you, your playing, and most importantly, your desire to help humanity with your fine instruments. In that I discovered a similar desire to help people, those who suffer from the long nights of liquid. I realized that if somehow I could help people, people similar to me, I might also achieve the level of transcendence you have. Here is my plan: To open a guitar school for other bed-wetters. If there are other people like me out there, I would like to help them. Unfortunately, I have no capital or means to start such an adventure. I have found a suitable group of students at my local geriatric community, as an events coordinator. But Esteban, we have no instruments. In your benevolence, would you consider a donation of 13 guitars, so that I may begin the school and ultimately help others like myself? (Also, one gentleman, Sherman, has asked for a Zorro hat to wear during the lessons. I think that he wants it to try and impress one of the ladies at the home.)

Thank you whatever your decision, for your dedication to humanity, and guitar as an instrument. I will forever remain a faithful disciple of Esteban.

[Folkstrum]

Dearest Esteban,

My name is Alvarez de la Takamine. As you will note from my name, I am somewhat of a cultural anomaly: Hispanic/Asian. I have started a guitar school here in NYC for students like myself...products of two cultures. I want so much to bring them the "gift of music," as do you! Sadly, I have but 14 students, all who live in a level of poverty you could only imagine in your worst dreams. Why, if they could EVER see you in person in a REAL Ramada® Inn, they would think they were in heaven, or as I like to call it "poquito grande seshu hirakawa!"

When I grew up in Spain the latter part of my adolescence, I, like YOU, met SEGOVIA. He often spoke of his "American prodigy," a "Stephan Paul," I believe. That, is YOU, is it not, Esteban? Well, I could not afford lessons from him, but from time to time, he would let me pick up his broken nylon strings to make my "string animals" from to sell in the mercado after siesta time. Before his death, Segovia gave me a letter to mail to you, Esteban. Sadly, he dropped dead just after handing it to me. I was so grief-stricken, and shocked, I forgot about mailing the letter to you...until now. I know in the letter he boasted of your accomplishments and how he thought of you as his SON! So, I beg you to listen to my proposal.

Could you possibly donate 13 of your wonderful Martin-like guitars, all in black (as my child-students could also use them as a mirror to comb their lice-infested hair, as they are too poor to even own a mirror!). Of course, your DVD's would be welcome, as would 13 window-sized "chord charts," which they could not only use to learn chords, but perhaps paper over the holes in their poor homes to keep the NY winter air out. I would like to offer you money for your guitars, but, alas, I am keeping my dear Mamacita-San in a Nursing Home in the Bronx.

In return for your kindness, I shall FINALLY mail the "letter" Segovia handed to me, for you, as his dying act. It is all I have to offer, but I think it will mean a great deal to you.

Adios and sayonara! Your Amigo-San, Alvarez de la Takmine

[SeamusORiley]

What to do with 13 Estebans? Up here in the North Country, it is still very cold; no thanks to Al Gore. We are burning up wood to keep warm...

oh, wait...

they're not wood.


oh well.

[mdunn]

We are off to a great start on the contest.

In a couple of days the Grand Prize will be announced so stay tuned.


Esteban Writing Contest Instigator and Curator of the
Esteban Guitar Collection and Appreciation Society, Ltd.

[preston]

A plea to that most talented gracious incarnation of the blessed El Zorro –


I am Timnuk Prygoinovich and am writing to you from the darkest reaches of Lower Slobovia. I am considered national treasure for my guitar virtuosity and many millions of klapkos ( our equivalent to your ‘compact discs’ except ours revolve at 78 rpm) sold to adoring fans. I have earnest desire and have started guitar school in basement of treatment plant to bring gift of music to young Slobovians. But our citizens are very poor and 13 students must take turns using “E” string attached to broom handle for guitar when broom is not being in use. I fear if I not obtain instruments soon students will abandon class and return to mud packing plant which is main export here.

If only through your sales of many hundreds of thousands of high quality instruments on the QVC could you be so generous as to make gift of music available to these poor eager musicians ! They would be so happy to receive anything you may send from American Legsasy to Mister Class cutted away models in any colors or sparkles. We even accept 9 foot cable instead of usual 10 foot one that is advertised or 9 watt amps instead of 10 watt deluxe model you sell for very reasonable price to rich Americans. Alas, since our gross nationalistical product is only 37 US dollars per year we cannot afford three easy payment of $66 for each guitar.

So I plead with you to look deep into your heart and share your gifts with poor children of my country. I will re-name school in your honor and hold annual recital/concert dedicated to your name which is spoken in hushed reverence in the halls of our capitol in Pooshtinkta at the Music Ministry. National holiday will be declared and your likeness can be to inscribed on our Tupperware coins as patron saint of musical notes. And anytime you wish to visit in person I can guarantee to be treated as royalty with free room in presidential hovel and “personal assistant” during your stay to attend your every need and all the goat cheese you can eat.

We beg of you great Esteban ! You are our only hope !

Your fan & devoted servant, Timnuk

[earbleedz]

dear estiban

excuse me if this is misspelled or whatever because we are writing you at night with the lights off. we have snuck into the nurses station to e mail you on the internet with the staff's computer. they don't want us to use the computer or have guitars but we want to get them. there are thirteen of us who are here of no fault of our own. all week we see estaben on TV and we think about playin them guitars ourself. if you send us thirteen electric guitars with thirteen amps thirteen chords and thirteen straps we would be indeed be gratefull to you. thirteen electric guitars thirteen amplifiers thirteen chords and thirteen straps. you are awesome esteban and we know that with your help we will be able to make the most rockinest music in the intensive controle ward. ps we need them by the thirteenth.

your friends and fans
richard
joe
william f
william s
mic
toby
trevor
scott
bill
lyle
vernon
elton
mike a

[mdunn]

Well AGF'ers it is time to reveal the Grand Prize for the Esteban creative writing contest #3. That's me holding the grand prize. But, is it the guitar I am holding in my left hand or my right hand? Check back often as I will slowly reveal what will be a once in a life time opportunity to own a very special guitar.

So, get going on that letter to Esteban.



MDunn

Esteban Writing Contest Instigator and Curator of the
Esteban Guitar Collection and Appreciation Society, Ltd.

[detroitsuperfly]

Well, my guess would be that it ISN'T the Johnny Cash D-35.


But I REALLY hope that I'm wrong!

[detroitsuperfly]

Dear Mdunn,

I am Detroitsuperfly, I operate a smallguitar school for homeless blind autistic children. Our star pupil, lets call him TImmy, also is missing two legs.

His dream is to own a Martin Johnny Cash D-35.

If you could find it in your grace to give him the gift of guitar, my city will name a festival and your honor, we'll have a Miss Mdunn beauty contest and the children will perform a play honoring the life of mdunn the fantastic.
SIncerely,
detroitsuperfly.