![]() |
#1
|
|||
|
|||
![]()
“A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, ‘First offender?’ She says, ‘No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!’”
|
#2
|
|||
|
|||
![]()
at least she didn't kill him with his axe ,
H |
#3
|
|||
|
|||
![]()
Guitar puns don't resonate if they are not witty and sharp. Sometimes mine fall flat. But you can just tune me out if you don't like it.
__________________
Martin D-41 Martin HD-35 Martin Gruhn CS D-18GE Sinker Gibson SC Country Western Supreme Gibson J-45 Gibson J-50 Last edited by JMW01; 04-08-2015 at 10:40 PM. |
#4
|
|||
|
|||
![]()
Shut your soundhole.
__________________
"You can get help from teachers, but you are going to have to learn a lot by yourself, sitting alone in a room." --Dr. Seuss Don't invest dollars in guitars; invest hours in practice and see which makes you the better player. |
#5
|
|||
|
|||
![]()
What do you call a guitarist who broke up with his girlfriend?
Homeless. |
#6
|
|||
|
|||
![]()
They should string her up.
__________________
Ian Emerald X20 Artisan Taylor Baby Martin D-28 Taylor 114ce Simon & Patrick SP6 |
#7
|
|||
|
|||
![]()
How many guitar players does it take to change a lightbulb?
6, one to change the bulb and 5 to say, "I could change that better than him."
__________________
TRW1 |
#8
|
|||
|
|||
![]()
What is God's favorite guitar chord?
Gsus. |
#9
|
|||
|
|||
![]()
__________________
Current offerings: Wood. 2015 Martin D-18 E-Retro Stamped "Made in USA" 2014 Martin GPCPA4-Natural Stamped "Made in USA" Fishman Loudbox Artist Amp. 120 Watts Electrics. Fender USA Pro Telecaster Olympic White. Fender Super Champ X2 15W/Tube 1X10" |
#10
|
|||
|
|||
![]()
I find it cute and unoffensive too,
God Bless you
__________________
Recording King Parlor guitar- Cherry Sunburst Snark Tuner |
#11
|
|||
|
|||
![]()
2 college students on a project for their music class are in Austria digging up Mozart's coffin. They have a video camera filming when they open the coffin, and low and behold Mozart's there with an eraser and his music hurriedly erasing all his songs. One of the 2 students asks him, What are you doing? He answers him, "D-Composing"!
![]()
__________________
Current offerings: Wood. 2015 Martin D-18 E-Retro Stamped "Made in USA" 2014 Martin GPCPA4-Natural Stamped "Made in USA" Fishman Loudbox Artist Amp. 120 Watts Electrics. Fender USA Pro Telecaster Olympic White. Fender Super Champ X2 15W/Tube 1X10" |
#12
|
|||
|
|||
![]()
What do you call a beautiful woman on a guitarist’s arm?
A tattoo. ![]() |
#13
|
|||
|
|||
![]()
How long does it take to tune a 12-string guitar?
Nobody knows.
__________________
Martin 000-18 2021 |
#14
|
|||
|
|||
![]()
One time in my Counterpoint class at school, the teacher, Dr. Underwood, called on a girl who had raised her hand. She wanted to ask about about "horn fifths," but as she asked she made a (Freudian?) slip and said "Dr. Underwood, what are horny fifths?"
The class laughed at her malapropism, but the teacher, without skipping a beat, answered "That is when they are approached correctly, but left unresolved." Best musical joke I heard in school. ![]() ![]() |
#15
|
|||
|
|||
![]()
What do you get if you toss a heavy guitar down a mine shaft?
A flat minor |