Jokes for performing, musician jokes?

[riorider]

And a great Tom Rush live "soft shot" at a yelled request for a song. "No, I can't do that one. But this song has many of the same notes in it."



rr

[TedShred]

some good stuff here

this should come in handy

[ayavner]

From Roy Book Binder:

"I wrote this about my second wife, may she rest in peace. With her new husband in Buloxi, MS..."

[trion12]

Originally Posted by Fambroski

I suppose this is mean but it kills me:

A sax player is sitting on the edge of his window sill of his tenth floor apartment. Deep into what he is doing, he looses his balance and falls the ten floors, hits the canvas awning, crashes down on a taxi cab totally uninjured. A man rushes over to him and sees that he doesn't even have a scratch. "Wow",he says, "you must be the luckiest sax player in the world!" The sax player looks up at him "no, that would be Kenny G..."

What does Kenny G. say when he gets into an elevator?
. . . "This place rocks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

[trion12]

What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians?
. . . a drummer

[MikeTX]

I kinda think Rich's SETUP may be the funniest!

"... many of my songs are sad to downright depressing, so I tell jokes in between to keep people from committing suicide."

[bobc]

A musician asks his wife...

Honey, why don't you ever tell me when your having an orgasm?

His wife says...

Cause I don't like calling you when your on a gig.

[wgmiller]

Q: How many bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: 1 - 5 -1

[BigRed51]

A man called from the IRS last week and said I Owed the Government $4800.00, so I sent them a toilet seat and 2 hammers.

It's been a bad day. My suspenders were arrested. They were holding up my pants.

[vac4873]

Little Johnny comes running up to his mom and announces "when I grow up I'm going to be a musician"
Mom replies, "Make up your mind Johnny, you can't do both"

[bobc]

Did you hear about the out of work base player who tried robbing a bank?

He tied up the safe and blew the guard...

[220volt]

Tom - "My guitar is broken. I need a Repairman!"

Bob - "A Luthier?"

Tom - "I don't care what religion he is as long as he can fix my guitar!"

[220volt]

Not really musical but gets the crowd going:

If you drop a lawyer and a politician off the roof at the same time, which one hits the floor first?


Who cares!!!

[ductape]

I tell'em "Sorry. It's a pawn shop guitar. It only came with three chords".

[ColinB]

How can you tell if there's a drummer knocking at your door?
The knocking gets faster and faster.

How can you tell if there's a lead singer knocking at your door?
He doesn't know when to come in.