What's was your weirdest gig ?

[Bern]

Personally, in the seventieth, I've played for 6 month or so in a church, Sunday folk mass, in Brooklyn NY, which was run and attended by Latinos. Picture this, here is this German guy, still learning English, communicating, basically, in sign language .
Although, I did have wonderful time, it was somewhat of surreal experience.

[Kanned]

Last week, my spanish teacher mentioned that she doesn't care how smart we are, as long as we participate and have fun(Oh, and she's serious). Later on she said that we were going to sing in spanish, so I offered to bring in my guitar and sing "La Bamba" for extra credit. She freaked out and told me to bring my guitar in everyday to make class more fun, lol. She said I can have as much extra credit as I want. Not exactly a gig, but it is weird. I bet she was a groupie. Class is today and I get nervous easy... Do I sense a future post in the embarassing gig moment thread?

[preston]

The weirdest I can recall was many, many years ago, but . . . . we were a 5 piece rock band playing a high school prom which was being held in a gymnasium at the school. Apparently the school did not want or permit street shoes on the basketball court so there were about 100 girls wearing formal gowns and sneakers. Add to that the girls seemed to outnumber the guys at least 2 to 1 and much of the night a large portion of the crowd was girls dancing with girls.

That one still stands out after all these years . . . .

[rmyAddison]

Way back in the early 70's our agent booked us in a club in Snake Alley, Atlantic City, the gay district!? We declined but he explained the club had two floors, guys upstairs, girls downstairs and we would play downstairs...we reluctantly agreed.

One of the guys in the band made the mistake of "flirting" with a very pretty girl during a slow dance and her girlfriend starting screaming at us, grabbed a drink off a nearby table and threw it on the stage, then the entire room started throwing things at us... WOW!

We protected our equipment as best we could, and after about a 10 minute barrage when things settled down we just packed up and left...to jeers and applause!

Not my favorite memory of the 70's, but we had planty of great ones too, those that I can remember

[BigRed51]

Somewhere around 1976, I was living in Waco, Texas, and a friend of mine who worked for a local music store and was an excellent guitar player (he played lead guitar in one of the bands in the movie Honeysuckle Rose) would get me a gig every now and then. He had always done me right, so I never asked too many questions. He called me one Saturday afternoon, and said a fiddle player he knew needed someone to play rhythm guitar that night at a small club outside of town ... I should have been concerned when he told me the fellow's name was Pappy Tyler. He said it was pretty straightforward, and the pay was good. Told me to get there an hour early, but he gave me the wrong directions, so instead of getting there an hour early, I was about 10 minutes late ...

The fellow waved me up to the stage, and I settled in as he kicked of his next tune. Pappy was not a young man ... in fact, he had been a 'senior citizen' for many, many, MANY years. I knew I was in trouble when he announced that the next song was one he wrote a few years before ... just a little before I was born. As I am doing my best to follow a fiddle tune I had never heard before, he turned around after one time through and signaled me to take a lead break. Right. I wasn't much of a lead player on songs I knew, and this style of music was (shall we say) out of my comfort zone. A very painful two hours later, he had played about 98% original tunes, and I had proven time and time again to be one of the worst lead guitar players of unknown songs on the face of the earth ... and I think that Pappy was a little insulted that I was not familiar with his repertoire. I offered to turn down my pay and chalk it up to experience, but he was very nice about it, and paid me more than I had expected ... but he didn't ask for my phone number in case he needed a guitar player to fill in again!

[PorkPieGuy]

I've played at a few weird places:

1. Someone's driveway
2. Another house's garage
3. I once played in an auditorium, but the inside was made of brick with no sound-aborbing panels. It was like playing in a raquet-ball court. Sounded awful. I think that it was at Campbell University in NC. I can't remember.
4. Once played at a family reunion. Magic Johnson's sister attended.
5. Played acoustic guitar at a black church. AWESOME!
6. I've been an opening act for cloggers, accordian players, interpretive dance teams, and southern gospel groups. Keep in mind I was in a rock band when I did these.
7. I once played for a Goody's grand opening. Weird.
8. I played at a Mennonite camp. Very cool.
9. Our rhythm guitar player was almost mugged after a show in Rock Hill, SC.
10. Played at a very scary Pentacostal church somewhere in VA.
11. Played in an old school that a church had bought and converted into Sunday School rooms and a huge youth center.
12. Played at a "coffee shop" that was really a barber shop by day.

I need to stop there. I could name more weird places, but I've got stuff to do today.

[Smurf42]

In the late 80's I was doing a pickup for a country rock band (I was a free-lance drummer for most of my career). When I returned the call to the band leader the first question I was asked was how big my bass drum was ?!

I told him, and he asked if I had a kick mic, said yes, I have a full mic set. So he said OK, show up at so & so at 6 to set up......

I get to this medium size hall that would seat around 400 to 500 people, and there is this HUGE PA system. If anyone is familiar with Peavey equipment, this system had 8 CS800 amps, 4 of their scooped 15" subs, and 4 of their 4 X 15" direct radiating sub cabs.......but only 2 12" High-Mid boxes! I thought "OK, this should be interesting......

It turns out that we were playing to a full house.....of deaf people! They liked to feel the low end so they could dance.......talk about a muddy mix! All those rap cars you hear had NOTHING on us that nite!

It paid well, and I ended up doing that gig once a year for 5 years, and it was one of the most fun ones I have ever had!

(if I can find pics of the cabs I will post them...)

[Guyute]

Hmmm....I've played a lot of gigs, but none of them were really "weird". Does playing for pay to an empty room count?

[Chicago Sandy]

It's a three-way tie:

June, 1981. I was the "chirp" doing humorous (mostly political) songs in a comedy troupe that was formed over breakfast one night after an all-night showcase at a local (defunct) comedy club. We played at various clubs, parties, hospitals and nursing homes around the Chicago area. Our leader, who doubled as agent, called to tell me he had gotten us a gig entertaining the "interns & residents' picnic" at a West Side hospital. He gave me the start time and address; as I owned the PA I had to arrive first to set up. Arrived at the given address and found it didn't exist, so I called 411 from a phone booth in a bodega to get the correct address. Did not see anything remotely resembling a picnic set up outdoors, so I went inside, where I was warmly greeted and led into the auditorium. The staffer pointed to a pile of papers on the stage and said "First thing, let's distribute the song sheets." Song sheets? I was (and still am) primarily a performing songwriter, so I asked politely if I could do my own material. "If there's time afterward," she said, "but the patients are SOOO looking forward to having a real pro leading our weekly singalong." Singalong? PATIENTS??!!
Just then the doors at the rear of the auditorium swung open and the parade of patients being wheeled in--most in chairs, a couple on gurneys--began. But there was something weird--all of them were in some form of restraints! Holy spit--this wasn't the medical residents' party, it was the "resident" patients' party: for the PSYCHIATRIC ward! Some were in Posey jackets; one had slash marks climbing both forearms like rungs on a ladder. I swallowed hard, passed out the song sheets and began leading the group in the usual "folk scare" standards. To my chagrin, the patient with the slash marks kept requesting we repeat (3 times) the verse of "My Bonnie" that went "Last night as I lay on my pillow, last night as I lay on my bed.....I wished that my Bonnie was dead." Fortunately, during the third time through, the rest of the troupe arrived (they were all in one van and the leader, being a typical guy, refused to ask for directions once he realized they were lost). I graciously relinquished my original set so that the rest of the show could go on; nobody laughed at ANYTHING except the lone female standup's riff on childbirth. Fortunately, by the end of the show the deli platters had been set up outside.

Halloween 1981. Aragon Theatre, Chicago. A local wealthy eccentric impresario and arts patron decided to host a ball/concert/festival called "Bizzarte," starring local faves Phil 'n' the Blanks. We (the comedy troupe)were hired to entertain as part of the "midway" set up in the theater lobby; we were placed between the fire-eater and the sword-swallower. Everyone was in wildly imaginitive costumes except us. Nobody listened to the standups, but a few stood around to listen to my set. We played till the concert began; at intermission an usher came over to me and told me to come upstairs to the band's dressing room. There I was greeted by the bandmembers who urged me to join them for deli and drinks; and then they asked me to go onstage in the theater itself and repeat my solo set to open for the second half of their show. To date, it had been the biggest venue I'd ever played. Years later, their drummer joined us in my neighborhood cover band Lake Effect (more on that later)

August 1982. By now I was in The White Women, in its incarnation as an acoustic trio (I sang mostly backup and occasionally played second guitar; the lead singer played primary rhythm guitar and his wife also sang mostly backup--but she & I took occasional lead vocals). We were planning to head down to the lakefront to see the boat parade and fireworks for Venetian Night when we got a call from an agent offering us $300 to fill in for an act at a far northwest suburban club who'd been a no-show the night before. Over Kathy's protests, we quickly dressed up, loaded the car and headed out there, 40 miles away. It was a biker bar. We swallowed hard and walked in. We were shown to the basement show room where, to our delight, we found a full PA set up and ready to go--all we needed was to add two more mics, stands and DIs. There was even a set of bass keyboard foot pedals. We launched into our opening number and just then we heard a baritone bellow, "What the hey-ull are y'all doin' at mah gig?" We looked over to the door: there stood a corpulent Elvis impersonator resplendent in rhinestone-studded white jumpsuit and an excruciatingly horrible toupee. We explained that the booker called us to fill in because he missed the gig the night before. "Ah dint call in sick tonight, so git off the stage," he roared. The audience looked back and forth at us in anticipation of a juicy melee. The downstairs bartender went upstairs to talk to the manager, who in turn called the booker. A compromise was reached--we were to set up our own PA upstairs by the main bar (no dance floor or seats) and play between "Elvis'" sets. Of course, every time we began, he decided to take an encore; after the second set, he decided it was best to try to barrel through and drown us out. At the end of the night (four sets and five hours later) he was canned and we were hired for two more gigs at $600 per night. EPILOGUE: we played only one of those gigs and were thereafter disinvited because we had no bass or drums and not enough people could dance to us.


Honorable mention: June 1982, I was recommended to a bar owner by a singer departing for Nashville to take over her gig. Met with both of them, described my act and gave references and was told it would be $250 for four sets a night, BYO PA. So I worked up four sets of energetic covers and hauled me and my friend's PA over there. Right after I set up, the "opening act" (so to speak) began: it was a lingerie fashion show (to put it euphemistically). Afterwards, I gamely launched into my set, during which people were clapping, singing along, sending requests, tipping like crazy and drinking like fish. At the first break the owner handed me $50 and told me I was fired. "Where is your drum machine? Where is your bass player?" Rather than argue, I took the money, emptied the tip jar, tore down the PA and left just in time to see--you guessed it--"Elvis" come in. EPILOGUE: got a call the next day from the manager of Two-Way Street Coffeehouse, who told me two of his regulars had been at my abortive gig the night before, heard the two originals I'd managed to sneak in, and called him up to insist he book me. Been playing there ever since.

Honorable mention #2: Aug. 1986. Lake Effect (for which I sang lead and played bass) was playing a neighborhood block party. By then our neighborhood had a sizable contingent of proudly "out" gay men. Our second song was the Bonnie Raitt version of "Runaway." As I sang I scanned the crowd and saw someone unusually dressed. Cool, I thought, the guy is wearing a boa in the shape of an ACTUAL boa! As the song progressed he made his way slowly to the stage; whereupon I realized the "boa" was actually a 10-foot python and very much alive! As I began the coda, the fellow smiled and gently draped the snake around my neck. I did the only thing I could do--smile weakly and finish the song as if nothing had happened. Afterward, I petted it and was surprised to find it was warm, smooth and dry. To this day, I regret not having incorporated it into the lyrics.

[Hondo]

Of all the weird gigs, there are two that stand out above the rest -

A bar in Dallas in the early seventies - I did a solo acoustic act and traded sets with a topless dancer. To the disappointment of most of the crowd, my sets lasted longer than hers.

A couple of years later at a dance hall in Harker Heights, TX - a stage with chicken-wire around it and a pad for the patrons to write their requests on. This was pre-Blues Brothers movie. The manager's name was Rocco!

[JohnZ]

Originally Posted by Hondo

Of all the weird gigs, there are two that stand out above the rest -

A bar in Dallas in the early seventies - I did a solo acoustic act and traded sets with a topless dancer. To the disappointment of most of the crowd, my sets lasted longer than hers.

!

One of my first gigs was swapping sets with an exotic dancer as well, around '68 I guess. Last week I did the full 15 verse version of Strawberry Roan for a memorial service.
Wierd is relative.

[cafeguy]

1971 at a Flying Farmers Convention. Played Chuck Berry for a bunch of fellows in suspenders who owned airplanes...and their families. After our 1 hour gig the hotel paid for us to play at the pool and provide entertainment to the kids of the Flying Farmers....They even sprang for a boat load of pizza for everyone. Actualy it was one of those evenings when we thought we had the strangest gig and it turned out to be one cool evening...... Heck, I would have played just for the pizza.

[Bluepoet]

My wierdest was a church function, when I was 15...it was some sort of theme dance--can't remember what--held in a small gymnasium...ours was a band of four, but only me (Bass) and the lead player showed up. To my relief, there was a full orchestra there to do the main entertainment...we had been asked, only because someone thought it might be nice to "see the kids play". Anyway, we decided we'd play just one song, since there was only the two of us...I told the person in charge that we were going to play and sing "Sounds of Silence", (Simon and Garfunkel)...we were told that the orchestra would begin, and play it's first set of 5 songs, then we'd fill in during the break.

Well, the 5th song that the orchestra played was, you guessed it, "Sounds of Silence"!!

Although I don't think they did it on purpose, it was certainly weird to follow them with the same song (I think we did it better, though!)

[Joe F]

A few years ago a local pastor talked me into playing for his outreach band on an excursion to preach and play at the various prisons in South Carolina over the course of three days.

The scariest was a men's maximum security prison. It took us over an hour just to go through all the screening and security to get into the place. We're on stage in the chapel and they march all these very scary looking dudes in. Tattoos everywere, shaved heads, biceps as big as my thighs etc... Scattered throughout the room were guards with rifles or shotguns, but not nearly enough of them in my opinion! The funny part was that the majority of the inmates really got into it and were bebopping to the music and shouting amens better than any Southern Baptist crowd I've played for. I felt a little like Johnny Cash though. When we were done, they gave us a standing ovation and we had to stay put until they were all marched out.

The next day we went across town to a women's minimum security prison. Now that was a blast. They were in for things like bad checks, shoplifting etc... Not scary at all. Since we were all men, they were a very captive audience in more ways than one. All during the music, they were giving us seductive looks and making some very VERY suggestive gestures. It was the closest thing to obsessed "take me backstage now" groupies I've ever experienced. I loved it. LOL!

[Antonio Salieri]

Originally Posted by Joe F

A few years ago a local pastor talked me into playing for his outreach band on an excursion to preach and play at the various prisons in South Carolina over the course of three days....

The next day we went across town to a women's minimum security prison. Now that was a blast. They were in for things like bad checks, shoplifting etc... Not scary at all. Since we were all men, they were a very captive audience in more ways than one. All during the music, they were giving us seductive looks and making some very VERY suggestive gestures. It was the closest thing to obsessed "take me backstage now" groupies I've ever experienced. I loved it. LOL!

So how much did y'all offer the warden for another gig there ?