#1
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The end of an engagement: man be careful with a fool
So today I broke up with my fiance of 2 years. She had been unhappy for a while now and I think would've left me if we didn't live together. But I found out yesterday that she's been stepping out for about the last month via explicit text messages and was actually planning to meet one of the guys in person today although she insists she wouldn't be the recipient of anything physically (phrased hopefully ambiguously enough as to not be inappropriate).
In the words of Johnny Winter "man be careful with a fool, you know some day he may get smart."
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Guitars: Martin 000C-16RGTE Guild GAD-50 Epiphone Sheraton 2 Pro Gibson Les Paul Studio Fender Stratocaster MIM w/ noiseless pickups |
#2
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In time you'll realize it wasn't "lost time" - there's always something to learn in this situation be it about yourself, or simply how to analyze romantic love relationships.
I'm 57 and never been married - close a couple times, but thankfully it didn't work out or I would have found myself in a mess down the road. You've got an empty canvas to paint on - make it something wonderful. Don't waste too much time on anger, regret or "what if's".
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"One small heart, and a great big soul that's driving" |
#3
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Now THIS is a wonderful sentiment to remember:
"You've got an empty canvas to paint on - make it something wonderful." ...what fitness1 said. Tony
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“The guitar is a wonderful thing which is understood by few.” — Franz Schubert "Alexa, where's my stuff?" - Anxiously waiting... |
#4
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Not everyone is cut out for long term live-in type relationships, marriage or not. I learned pretty late in life that I'm not....
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Emerald X20 Emerald X20-12 Martin D18 Martin 000-15sm |
#5
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I have never understood why people cheat. If you are unhappy, break up and move on. Infidelity is one of the hardest things to deal with in a relationship. Although it may not feel like it now, you dodged a bullet by her showing you who she is now rather than after marriage and kids. Lean on your music. Write some sad songs, dedicate yourself to learning a new song, just anything to take your mind somewhere else. Get the engagement ring back (if there was one) and move on with your life. Somebody better will come into your life later. But for now, concentrate on being the best YOU that you can be.
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https://www.mcmakinmusic.com |
#6
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Quote:
Yeah hopefully, for now I'm going to focus on reasons why my guitars are better than my girlfriend.
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Guitars: Martin 000C-16RGTE Guild GAD-50 Epiphone Sheraton 2 Pro Gibson Les Paul Studio Fender Stratocaster MIM w/ noiseless pickups |
#7
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Quote:
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Guitars: Martin 000C-16RGTE Guild GAD-50 Epiphone Sheraton 2 Pro Gibson Les Paul Studio Fender Stratocaster MIM w/ noiseless pickups |
#8
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Quote:
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#9
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Time to channel the hurt into learning this song: "Unanswered Prayers" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GuA5PZx3K4
I remember an especially tough breakup after a couple of intense years, but it would not have worked out well in the long term. A few months later I met my (now) wife. We're coming up on 36 years married soon. |
#10
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I feel your pain.
Hang in there, you will be ok.
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Be nice. Last edited by AmericanEagle; 10-14-2019 at 06:11 PM. |
#11
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Make a nasty blues song out of it, call it good, and look around.....new possibilities are everywhere. |
#12
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As far as the OP, I happen to be going through a similar break up of sorts now, though not engaged. I won't go into personal circumstances but will say I'm sure that I'm older (at the age of 64) and it does suck. Sometimes two people's expectations can differ even though they care deeply for each other. For me, I'm not sure that a 12 bar blues lick brings any answers or comfort, but "unanswered prayers" may be somewhere we can look... |
#13
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#14
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Whatever happens, don't allow her to gaslight you or make you feel like "it really wasn't cheating". If she hid those interactions from you then she also knew what she was doing was wrong. Also, whatever she confessed to is probably 1/10th of what she actually did. Look up the term "trickle truth". Either way, it really doesn't matter now. You will get through this. You, your guitar(s), family, and friends, it's all you need for now!
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https://www.mcmakinmusic.com |
#15
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Sorry to hear of your troubles.
Hang in there, time is a great healer. She wasn't the one. |