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  #46  
Old 09-22-2023, 06:55 AM
Rolph Rolph is offline
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It's fighting an impossible beast or tilting windmills to think we are going to change how screens are so everywhere. People who can't escape them can and do live well balanced and healthy lives. For that can't escape part, it struck me where I manage technology when mobile devices we manage exceeded personal computers deployed. It's near 2:1 now.

Fitness (physical and mental), education or coaching and diet are probably better aims. Where and how we live needs to be considered because sitting and driving are unhealthy.

Historical photos struck me. A fun to me page on 1950s - 70s trucking didn't show all the obesity. Same for photos in the industry and 100+ year old firm where I'm at.

Where or why I think this well being and weight are so important comes from a long time volunteering in rec, sports, teaching them and some coaching. Many who've joined the sports club and outdoor sports with some mental illness, loss and other issues have had weight struggles too. The activity seems to help both.

It has repeated when some people who've joined the rides and guiding I volunteer to do say the physical activity with a social aspect have helped them be off medication and do better. I know that personally.

More than get rid of your screen, it seems like many who have problems should have those screens guide them to healthy activities and groups plus healthy eating.
After Covid, I retired my medical practice when Robocalls outnumbered Patient calls, 5:1 everyday.
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  #47  
Old 09-22-2023, 10:51 AM
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My father-in-law is in poor health and needs constant attention. He and my mother-in-law refuse to leave their home and go to assisted living. My mother-in-law is in pretty good physical health though. A few months ago she ended up at the ER and then in the hospital for three days due to stress related illness, causing a crisis as we all hustled to take care of the father-in-law. But if you bring it up, my mother-in-law will tell you that the doctors don't know what they are talking about, she has no stress and there was no reason for her to be in the hospital. The doctor told my wife that he sees a lot of stress deniers, especially among the elderly.
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  #48  
Old 09-22-2023, 10:58 AM
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Stress can actually be fun - depending upon what shape we're in to deal with it.

With a rollercoaster background in air traffic control and law enforcement (last century), I'm quite confident that I would not handle either job very well today.

Last edited by tinnitus; 09-22-2023 at 11:54 AM.
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  #49  
Old 09-22-2023, 11:41 AM
guitar george guitar george is offline
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Avoid stressful news and situations.

Deep Breathe slowly - as often as possible throughout the day
- in through the nose, out through the mouth
- fill abdomen and chest with air
- expel air completely

Whike deep breathing, concentrate on positive confirmations whether they are true or not.
(Think of nothing else, concentrate and think or say these words softly, slowly and positively)

I am calm, I am relaxed, I am strong, I am healthy, I am happy, etc.
I am very, very calm, I am very, very relaxed, etc. (very slowly)
I have no worries, I have no problems, I have no stress, I have no illness, I have no aches, I have no pain, etc.

Repeat each phrase over and over and over, as often as possible, throughout the day and while in bed.
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  #50  
Old 09-22-2023, 11:53 AM
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currently I kind a hate my job

so during those hours oh yea..
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  #51  
Old 09-22-2023, 12:01 PM
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currently I kind a hate my job

so during those hours oh yea..
I used to take toxic thoughts home with me after work, like on weekend hikes and so on. Not fair to people around me. Trying my best to practice mindfulness (which I re-label "mindlessness" for my application) and retiring really helped to reduce all that negative clutter. Not quite ready to retire? Consider a change to something less invasive and damaging - IF that in itself won't cause new/additional worries. It's all about quality of life.

Last edited by tinnitus; 09-25-2023 at 11:37 AM.
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  #52  
Old 09-22-2023, 12:46 PM
imwjl imwjl is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rolph View Post
After Covid, I retired my medical practice when Robocalls outnumbered Patient calls, 5:1 everyday.
That might be one where forums might not translate the intent or meaning. Those call sure are annoying.

Your phone system, carrier and phones can help the situation and a feed I get at work shows those call vary. More sophisticated vishing and smishing are more stress to me. I have to worry staff will make a mistake though we do train for it.

Some work stress is more like this below.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tinnitus View Post
Stress can actually be fun - depending upon what shape we're in to deal with it.

With a rollercoaster background in air traffic control and law enforcement (last century), I'm quite confident that I would not handle either job very well today.
In a sick way what I think is more accurate to call vigilance or on guard like that is healthy. Being so close to retirement what would be high stress for some and work challenges also keep me engaged which is healthy.
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  #53  
Old 09-22-2023, 12:53 PM
marty bradbury marty bradbury is offline
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Quote:
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currently I kind a hate my job

so during those hours oh yea..
I'm with you on that one! And I'm on call 24/7, always stressed,
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  #54  
Old 09-24-2023, 08:44 AM
Neil K Walk Neil K Walk is offline
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I've been stressed my whole life. I grew up with no father, who died before I had any memory of him. My mother struggled to find meaning in her life and as a result put pressure on me while at the same time having to work to support us and finding ways to deal with her own stress that were often at odds with her responsibilities as a parent. We didn't have much but looking back I didn't want for anything and I came out it with a certain degree of independence - and ignorance which others would prey upon.

Outside of our small family, I felt the pressure of the outside world as bullies often found me an easy target and it led to me seeking out a solitary lifestyle and I found that going out into nature were therapeutic - as was learning to play and sing when I was at home, though my favorite place to play is in my yard or my porch or patio. Again, I want for little more than space and I prefer doing it alone. I don't even desire to perform for others.

Ironically, at some point I got married and had a family but that in itself caused pressure. Changing diapers and midnight feedings were not among them because I knew they wouldn't be forever. Instead, when my eldest failed to meet some milestones and he was diagnosed with autism and intellectual disability disorders.

So for the next 17 years any promise of a normal life seemed to instantly die and I grieved for a time - similarly to how my mother grieved for my father. I don't think that helped at all though. As he grew he did learn - albeit at a slower pace - but along with it were LOTS of emotional outbursts that included aggression toward others, willful destruction of property and even self injurious behaviors. That behavior only became worse as he grew and the hormones of puberty only made it worse. I continue to be haunted of the memories of every self inflicted injury, visit to the hospital as well as the guilt of having to have him institutionalized for several years.

That being said, he's now an adult and a ward of the state but persently he's being care for by people who express affection for him which he appreciates and as a result feels secure. We still visit with him twice a week but it occurs to me that despite his intellectual disabilities he enjoys his relative independence and we respect that while working behind the scenes to ensure that the carpet isn't pulled out from under his feet.

At the same time, I am now looking out for my elderly mother's interests as she lives in senior care and declares that she feels that there is no place for her in this world. To be fair, she doesn't say this as being overly fatalistic - only that the world has become too complicated for her. I can respect that, though part of me can't help but be concerned that her short term memory is not nearly as reliable as it once was. I am now middle aged and feel that that stress has had a physical effect on my own endurance, so I know those days are coming for me as well.

TLDR I'm finding that there is a certain danger in life in always looking back and have yet to learn that the future is still unwritten.
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  #55  
Old 09-25-2023, 08:05 AM
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Since I retired I find my stress levels have dropped considerably. Are they gone completely? Probably not. Am I worried about it? Naw.

Prior to my retirement, I had borderline high blood pressure and was taking meds to keep it in check. Knowing I would be joining the Medicare family a year after retiring and wanting to live a simple retirement, I decided I needed to get off of it.

I quit drinking, started cycling (stationary) and lost about 10 pounds and my BP issues went away.

Now that I'm retired from a job I loved but which was pretty stressful (Higher Educator Professor/Administrator) my life is pretty stress-free. Well, at least nowhere near as stressful as it once was.

I joined a gym in 2022 and now am in the best shape since my 30's and loving life with very little to actually stress about.

So put me in the blessed and stress-free group.

My biggest stressor at the moment is making sure my new garage shelves are hung straight.

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  #56  
Old 09-25-2023, 09:05 AM
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Great post, PJ! Keep it up! (No pressure!)
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  #57  
Old 09-25-2023, 10:29 AM
rmp rmp is offline
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Quote:
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I used to find that I took all that toxic stuff home with me after work, like on weekend hikes and so on. Not fair to people around me. Trying my best to practice mindfulness (which I tend to re-label "mindlessness" for my application) and retiring really helped to reduce all that negative clutter. Not quite ready to retire? Consider a change to something less invasive and damaging - IF that in itself won't cause new/additional worries. It's all about quality of life.
so true

I try not to take it "home" but heck I work from home!

the problem is, I just can't seem to "talk" about it without getting a bit too animated

so the best bet for me is just to not say much about it to my wife.

she's a glass half full kind of person, and she is able to find the good in even the worse sitations.

I try to use her out look but, I fail

Close to retirement, maybe in a few months. At this point everyday is a bit harder to swallow.
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  #58  
Old 09-26-2023, 02:00 PM
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Avoid news.

Socialize with friends and people who feel better than I do and who take a real interest in me.

Look after friends and people who need it. (Up to a point. 'cos some kinds of friends can, as W.S. Burroughs put it, leave you feeling like you lost a quart of plasma. You know what I mean.)

Exercise.

Volunteer. I walk dogs at the shelter on Fridays.

Count your blessings. Not literally all of them because that would be neurotic but take a moment to appreciate a good thing several times a day. Really say it out loud. And preferably say it to someone.

Get some real work done. I feel better after completing chores and home repairs than I do after playing solitaire.
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  #59  
Old 09-27-2023, 09:01 AM
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I just listen to Sparrows by Cory Asbury and I’m good…
(I also perform this at some of my shows for posi-vibez)

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  #60  
Old 09-27-2023, 09:58 AM
imwjl imwjl is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thefsb View Post
Avoid news.

Socialize with friends and people who feel better than I do and who take a real interest in me.

Look after friends and people who need it. (Up to a point. 'cos some kinds of friends can, as W.S. Burroughs put it, leave you feeling like you lost a quart of plasma. You know what I mean.)

Exercise.

Volunteer. I walk dogs at the shelter on Fridays.

Count your blessings. Not literally all of them because that would be neurotic but take a moment to appreciate a good thing several times a day. Really say it out loud. And preferably say it to someone.

Get some real work done. I feel better after completing chores and home repairs than I do after playing solitaire.
I totally agree except for the news. For sure be careful about or avoid all the punditry and without credibility stuff I feel needs to be labeled angertainment. My reading quality news from different good sources and a wide variety cuts stress overall. It is too easy to fall into the unhealthy trap of only following and considering what makes us feel good. We all need to share responsibility for good awareness and problem solving.
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