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Old 10-22-2021, 03:51 PM
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fitness1 fitness1 is offline
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Default Words of wisdom...

Been really struggling lately - a dear friend in her 80's sent me this today - hit me right in the forehead....

"In order to transform, we have to be willing to die a thousand tiny deaths.
This is the cost of alchemy. Grief. In the process of shedding, we experience the death of who we once were. The life we once lived.
There is always the opportunity to be reborn, and to transform into the person you are supposed to be. But are you willing to truly embrace it? To push through the pain? The loss? The grief?
This is the price you have to pay in order to step into your higher self. You have to be willing to let your old self go completely. For me it’s been stability, friendships, and an identity I was clinging onto by my nails
Know that when things fall away, that there is always something bigger, something deeper and something so much more meaningful out there for you.
Somewhere there is love on the horizon and the sweetness of a new beginning"
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Old 10-22-2021, 04:09 PM
woodbox woodbox is offline
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Thank you for posting words of encouragement.
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Old 10-23-2021, 04:09 AM
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Sorry to hear of your struggles. Glad that your friend’s note has consoled you.
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Old 10-23-2021, 06:18 AM
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Thanks, Todd. It’s good to remember that grief is a process; the worst of it is finite.
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Old 10-23-2021, 08:25 AM
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Mr. Jelly Mr. Jelly is offline
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I have always had an issue with "being the person we are suppose to be". It seems like using ones will to push a personal projection or agenda. I look at each of us being as individual as a snow flake. Can you imagine snow flakes trying to be something other than what they have been created to be. If we get out of our way we have a chance of being what were created to be. But, hey, that's me.
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Old 10-23-2021, 08:37 AM
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There is indeed vast wisdom in those words
AND I think the implications go beyond the usual conception of what a personal loss, grief and pain are (like say loosing a loved one)
That loss, pain, and grief (even without a significant personal tragedy) can also apply to simply confronting the man in the mirror

And relate to:::

The loss, of who were

The pain, of the seismic realization that who we were was based on perceptions that were not really objectively valid or true, in the big picture

The fear generated grief, that in our current perceptions we have stacked the house of cards so multi-faceted at the base and so high ,,, that to pull (change) even one card , will result in collapse of the entire thing..

There is a saying related to this that goes "If you change your perception you will change your world" , it is true and what those words of transformation are talking about
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Old 10-23-2021, 08:52 AM
imwjl imwjl is offline
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Thank you.

Mine that I always remember came when my dad died at a young age. For more context, the event created horrible uncertainty with our family business too. My mother looked at me and said:

"Put on a smile and get to work because the world won't stop, and pretty soon no one will care about our problems."
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Old 10-23-2021, 10:05 AM
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Wonderful! Beautifully written
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Old 10-23-2021, 10:12 AM
Glennwillow Glennwillow is offline
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I do think there is a lot of wisdom in those words, Todd.

I do think we have to be ready to evolve, even though grief and the changes necessitated by it can be painful.

I know that I am not the same person I was 20 or 40 years ago. In fact, I wish I knew what I know now back in my earlier years, but of course there is no way that can happen. We are each locked in time, but we do have a choice in deciding how we will respond to outside stresses and changes. To a great extent, we can decide what kind of person we will be.

I have often appreciated Dickens' question about whether we will be the hero of our own life. There were times when I wasn't that hero, but every time a new life crisis erupts, there is still that choice to move in that direction, to be the best version of ourselves that we can be. And in doing that, in not closing ourselves off to others, in trying to look out for others as well as ourselves, we have a chance to evolve.

And what choice do we have when death comes and changes our lives?

I am sorry you are going through such a tough time right now, Todd.

- Glenn
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Old 10-23-2021, 10:14 AM
Aimelie Aimelie is offline
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Completely select-copy-paste worthy (in my own files, not somewhere on the internet)! (I hope you don’t mind…)

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Old 10-23-2021, 10:34 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Glennwillow View Post

I am sorry you are going through such a tough time right now, Todd.

- Glenn
Thanks - the last few weeks have brought me right to my knees. If that last few years had been any kind of "normal" I'd be alright, but it's a culmination of so many events and sacrifices, and it just seems to be getting more intense all the time.

Trying to envision what life might be like on the other side has become very difficult.
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