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  #76  
Old 11-14-2019, 09:08 PM
Jaden Jaden is offline
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Well, it just got worse. I was served divorce papers today.
Sorry to hear that; I’ve never been married and there is no significant other in my life or on the radar. I noticed this/your thread goes back to the beginning of 2018, so it sounds like a tough couple of years, but everything you talk about is real compared to some people I know in my extended family of siblings where nothing at all real is divulged - rather a silent wall of an image of perfection behind which I think is a lot of pretence and denial - whereas what you talk about seems very real, vulnerable, human: it’s good you’re reaching out for help, we all go through tough times.
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  #77  
Old 11-15-2019, 06:38 AM
Neil K Walk Neil K Walk is offline
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Well, it just got worse. I was served divorce papers today.
Sorry to hear that. She left you over a year ago though. It should have been done long ago rather than letting the uncertainty linger. Are you working now? Have you been seeing a therapist? Do you have a lawyer?
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  #78  
Old 11-15-2019, 09:30 AM
Glennwillow Glennwillow is offline
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Well, it just got worse. I was served divorce papers today.
I am sorry about all this. Hang in there.

We are all thinking about you, wishing you well. Don't despair, tomorrow will be better.

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  #79  
Old 11-15-2019, 05:02 PM
AmericanEagle AmericanEagle is offline
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Sorry to hear that. She left you over a year ago though. It should have been done long ago rather than letting the uncertainty linger. Are you working now? Have you been seeing a therapist? Do you have a lawyer?
Yes, I am working.
Yes, I have a lawyer.
Yes, I am seeing a therapist.
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  #80  
Old 11-15-2019, 05:03 PM
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I am sorry about all this. Hang in there.

We are all thinking about you, wishing you well. Don't despair, tomorrow will be better.

- Glenn
Thank you Glenn
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  #81  
Old 11-15-2019, 05:25 PM
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It sounds like you’re getting on with your life. Good for you. This is a difficult step. Wishing you the best of luck
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  #82  
Old 11-15-2019, 05:46 PM
619TF 619TF is offline
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Well, it just got worse. I was served divorce papers today.
Congratulations! Most of my buddies tell me that was the BEST day of their lives (other than the day they got the finalization papers). Look on the bright side, you got rid of someone who obviously doesn't want to be with you. Staying is far worse.
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  #83  
Old 11-15-2019, 06:52 PM
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Sorry for the situations the last year or two Eagle. I was married to the person I thought I would always be married to, and then we separated and for 5 years I hung on hoping above all hope. Then, I surrendered, and the love of my life showed up in a purely illogical way and we have been very happily married for 18-1/2 years! She is my angel that I always dreamed of. So, there is always a future and a hope. But mine didn't come to fruition until I really surrendered to the reality of a lost cause. God be with you Eagle!
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  #84  
Old 11-16-2019, 04:53 AM
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Congratulations! Most of my buddies tell me that was the BEST day of their lives (other than the day they got the finalization papers). Look on the bright side, you got rid of someone who obviously doesn't want to be with you. Staying is far worse.
I was going to say the same thing, but I didn't want to appear insensitive and get flamed. Happened to me many years ago, and I'm better off because of it. There's no up side to staying with a woman who doesn't want you. Having her initiate the action is tactically the best move.
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  #85  
Old 11-16-2019, 06:13 AM
AmericanEagle AmericanEagle is offline
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Thank you all for your support.
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  #86  
Old 11-16-2019, 06:43 AM
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I am so sorry.


Bob
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  #87  
Old 11-18-2019, 10:15 AM
619TF 619TF is offline
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I was going to say the same thing, but I didn't want to appear insensitive and get flamed. Happened to me many years ago, and I'm better off because of it. There's no up side to staying with a woman who doesn't want you. Having her initiate the action is tactically the best move.
I think that may have been a backhanded compliment there AX. The fact is that a sincere congratulations is something that should never "appear insensitive". I truly am happy for the OP and hope that he can someday see it as a positive instead of piling on the negatives he feels that he's had to endure.
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  #88  
Old 11-18-2019, 05:26 PM
AmericanEagle AmericanEagle is offline
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I meet with my lawyer tomorrow after work.
$2,500 just to start.
I’m trying to stay positive, but money worries are real,
and now I am raising our troubled teen son alone.
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  #89  
Old 11-18-2019, 10:32 PM
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Sorry, Eagle.

The divorce is a finite problem. A time will come when it’s in the rear view mirror. That’s good.

Raising your son alone is really tough. But maybe once other problems are finished, you’ll be in a better place mentally to do that. I know the money problems will haunt you, but you’re a frugal guy. You’ll make it.
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  #90  
Old 11-19-2019, 07:30 AM
Neil K Walk Neil K Walk is offline
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Well, if you got the child and the house then I see things going your way in front of the judge. Usually the husband gets screwed but your wife shot herself in the foot by walking out the door and making the situation unstable. Hit her for alimony and child support.

BTW, how's your son's college savings? Is it in a trust or something? I'd hate to see it evaporate because of this ugliness. Also, how's his relationship with his mother after all of this? He's probably taking this just as hard as you are - if not more.

The present sucks but keep your eyes on the future. Focus on others who are still under your roof. Don't try to be your son's best friend - and certainly don't moan about this to him and make him into a pawn in all of this - but try to do things with him, even if it's going to the gym or to a movie or whatever. I know money is tight but it's not like you're going out on dates.
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