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Old 05-19-2015, 04:07 PM
80guitarguy 80guitarguy is offline
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Default Teacher conflicts?

Just wondering if anyone has experienced conflicts (eg interpersonal) with a teacher that has led them to study with someone else. I had a major health issue that my teacher ignored and resulted in me leaving.
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Old 05-19-2015, 05:06 PM
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Just wondering if anyone has experienced conflicts (eg interpersonal) with a teacher that has led them to study with someone else. I had a major health issue that my teacher ignored and resulted in me leaving.
What does this mean exactly - for example, that he charges you for missed appointments?
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Old 05-19-2015, 06:25 PM
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Just wondering if anyone has experienced conflicts (eg interpersonal) with a teacher that has led them to study with someone else. I had a major health issue that my teacher ignored and resulted in me leaving.
HI 80guitarguy…

As a guitar teacher, I see the street going both directions. I've had issues with students who were late for lessons, didn't pay on time, didn't practice etc. who I just discussed it with them and told then when the last lesson was going to be.

And I've had uncooperative students who I spoke to parents about, and left the decisions with them to work through. Some stayed, some moved on.

I don't see teacher/student relationships as having to continue for years or decades. If there is a rare one that clicks, it's a wonderful thing, but as a teacher now for more than 40 years in one city, many students take lessons for a while then take a break or move to other instructors.

I sell lessons in 4 lesson packages, and it gives the student a chance to rethink and review how they are going.



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Old 05-19-2015, 07:22 PM
brucefulton brucefulton is offline
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Just wondering if anyone has experienced conflicts (eg interpersonal) with a teacher that has led them to study with someone else. I had a major health issue that my teacher ignored and resulted in me leaving.
The devil is in the details. so the answer to your question, as both a student and a teacher, is, from both sides, yes. But it sounds like you have an axe needing serious grinding. Not sure too many people will want to get involved unless both parties are available to provide both sides of the tale of grievances that are sure to follow.

I'm sure you can spin a sympathetic argument. Is your instructor available to provide the counterpoint?
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Old 05-19-2015, 09:07 PM
Nailpicker Nailpicker is offline
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Just wondering if anyone has experienced conflicts (eg interpersonal) with a teacher that has led them to study with someone else. I had a major health issue that my teacher ignored and resulted in me leaving.
Yes. Over the past 50 years I've had 5 teachers. My first I stayed with for 6 years. He did a wonderful job of teaching a child the solid fundamentals and basics. I then wanted to start taking classical lessons so auditioned with a guy who had studied under Segovia. I didn't stay long for a variety of reasons, not the least were that he kinda scared me (I was only 16) he was so serious, so severe. So I moved to a jazz guy. He talked cool, was hip, seemed laid back....until....after a few lessons I realized I didn't understand what he wanted, what he was trying to relay to me and when he discovered I didn't understand him, he blew a fuse and went ballistic. As young as I was I said, "hey wait a minute, I'm paying you to teach me, not to go postal and scream at me" and I got up and walked out. I went to another jazz guy who turned out to be one of the premier jazz guitarists in a tri state area. He was cool, patient, relaxed and an excellent teacher. I stayed with him for 2-3 years and learned a lot. After a long hiatus from lessons, a few years ago I decided to update and refresh my knowledge and get yet another perspective. I took a couple years lessons with a young long haired rocker who really, really knew his stuff and relayed it to me well. We were as different as night and day in terms of age, hair, playing styles and perspectives as could be, yet we got along well, respected each other, communicated well with each other and I learned (and relearned) a lot.

My point is that I believe that, like in a marriage, there should be some kind of chemistry between student and teacher. As often as not that chemistry may not always be understandable or definable, but when it exists it is productive. When that chemistry does not exist it may not be as productive, will likely die.
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Old 05-22-2015, 05:13 PM
80guitarguy 80guitarguy is offline
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Sorry I know I haven't given a lot of context.

The basic gist of it is that I also work with this person so the relationship is not strictly straightforward - there are boundary and ego issues that come into play. It's kind of like the notion of whether a child should study music with a parent. Studying with someone else might provide a more objective and stable context.

Thanks for the feedback thus far.
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Old 05-23-2015, 01:49 AM
perttime perttime is offline
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"Teaching" to a person who is close to you is a difficult and risky business. The role of a teacher is usually very different from that of a colleague, friend, husband, or wife. And then you get the roles confused. One of you sticks to the "teacher" role, while the other one keeps thinking like a "wife".

If you haven't tried a situation like that before - do approach the idea with some caution.
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Old 05-23-2015, 05:19 AM
jmat jmat is offline
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"Teaching" to a person who is close to you is a difficult and risky business. The role of a teacher is usually very different from that of a colleague, friend, husband, or wife. And then you get the roles confused. One of you sticks to the "teacher" role, while the other one keeps thinking like a "wife".

If you haven't tried a situation like that before - do approach the idea with some caution.
Agreed, I can attest: never attempt to teach your wife to ski or to drive a stick shift! I will also be vague on details...
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Old 06-01-2015, 09:03 AM
creamburmese creamburmese is offline
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It's a business relationship. Even though the best teacher-student relationships will have shared goals and mutual respect, the bottom line is whether you are getting the kind of teaching that meets your goals. If the lessons are creating problems in your work life (or vice versa) then I'd say move on, making it clear that the reasons are not personal.
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Old 06-01-2015, 01:30 PM
Ziggy925 Ziggy925 is offline
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Absolutely! When I first started learning my teacher gave me a book and I was learning note for note reading music. At the time, Rock and Roll was king and pretty much everything was a I-IV-V progression. Had the teacher taught me 3 chords I could have gone home and played my *** off. That was when I was 15. Not until I was 40 did I pick up the instrument again and my new teacher taught me 3 chords and a pentatonic scale. In a week I was playing with him and writing my own funky blues tunes. Yes they were terrible, but I was learning and having fun at the same time. Had this guy been my teacher at 15 I'm sure I would have been playing, having fun and who knows where'd I'd be (guitar wise) now.

I realize there's a lot of hard work learning any instrument, but there has to be some fun in there. I have a friend who was learning the violin and never once strayed from the assigned lessons. After years of playing I asked him if he ever just picked up the thing and had some fun. "The would be away from the lesson plan and wouldn't be right." Seriously???
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Old 06-01-2015, 03:11 PM
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I've been learning guitar since about 1965. My first 10 years, I must have gone through 7 different "instructors". They all had two major things in common, they refused to listen, and they were very interested in showing me how great they were.
Finally, I met and studied with Ted Greene. I wasn't really advanced enough to fully appreciate much of what he was teaching me, yet I learned. Why?
Because the late Mr. Greene had never-ending patience, and a real positive attitude. Even though it took me twice the length of the lesson just to drive to his home, every minute was worth it's weight in platinum. Ted taught me to listen and observe, like a scientist!
If a "teacher" has a consistent bad attitude, move on and don't look back.
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