Your Best Dad Joke - Prize for best joke

[Golffishny]

My dad said, "I don't care how nice the hand soap smells...You should never walk out of the restroom sniffing your finger."

[KenL]

A guy I know in Kansas was telling me that it is so flat there that when his dog ran away from home he was able to watch him for three days.

[ctgagnon]

Where did George Washington keep his armies?

Up his sleevies.

(My wife's favorite joke)

[J Patrick]

.......

[MThomson]

I asked the librarian where to find the books about paranoia. She whispered "They're right behind you".

[Shuksan]

Once upon a time there was a king who was 12 inches tall.

He was a terrible king but he made a great ruler.

[Joe Beamish]

I didn't want to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a traffic cop. But when I got home, all the signs were there.

[Jschlueter]

Here some I have heard...and sometimes tell:

- I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator all along.

- I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I'll let you know...

- How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.

- Did you know corduroy pillows are in style? They're making headlines.

- I was walking down the beach when I heard a swimmer yelling for help with a shark circling him. I just laughed....I knew that shark wasn't going to help him.

- Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom? Because the 'P' is silent.

- I used to be a personal trainer. Then I gave my too weak notice