#31
|
|||
|
|||
Quote:
Even if the 12 steps aren’t for you, staying sober is really a minute/hour/day at a time. I’ve been sober 29 years. Plan on reaching 30 years on June 24th. In addition to SMART recovery-there’s Refuge Recovery. A friend of mine attends and prefers it over AA. If you’re a professional-doctor, lawyer, nurse, trades, there are sober support groups. If you wish to PM me, feel free. I get how tough it is to get and stay sober.
__________________
2021 Iris CH sunburst with ivoriod binding 2018 Guild M 20 1996 MIJ 50th Ann. Tele Deluxe |
#32
|
|||
|
|||
Quote:
Also, no need to apologize for asking for help! For what it’s worth, I’m proud of you for doing so, it’s tough to ask for help.
__________________
2021 Iris CH sunburst with ivoriod binding 2018 Guild M 20 1996 MIJ 50th Ann. Tele Deluxe |
#33
|
|||
|
|||
This is my message as well. know that we are all here backing you.
__________________
Martin 00018 |
#34
|
||||
|
||||
I’m currently reading Joseph Miller’s new book, US of AA: How the Twelve Steps Hijacked the Science of Alcoholism. Miller’s been working on it for several years now.
Miller isn’t really condemning the 12 steps, just trying to suggest that our thinking about addiction treatments could be less monolithic. He and I are friends, so I read some of the earlier drafts. Impressive work.
__________________
Peace, Jimmy Optima dies, prima fugit For Sale: Larrivee P 01Khttps://www.acousticguitarforum.com/...49#post7433849 Last edited by Jim Owen; 05-18-2019 at 09:48 PM. |
#35
|
|||
|
|||
Big props to you for coming forward as you did...the first step is always admission...
I made all kinds of deals w/myself but nothing of my own design worked... 25 years or so now, I believe... As has been said already, we're behind you, brother. One day, one hour, one temptation at a time... Feel free to PM me and we can talk at length... Last edited by Kerbie; 05-19-2019 at 02:22 AM. Reason: Removed prohibited topic |
#36
|
|||
|
|||
I'm almost 10 years sober, right at 20 years clean, and about 11 years cigarette free.
Didn't use any program, just realized it was "time". Some of us grew up in a different World and those things were normal. Looking back it seems very strange, the life I lived. I have a friend who goes to meetings and stuff and it's worked for him. Best of luck. |
#37
|
|||
|
|||
You just took the first of many steps to recovery. Keep putting 1 foot in front of the other and be sure you have someone to support you and be there for your struggles.
Scott Last edited by Kerbie; 05-19-2019 at 04:46 PM. |
#38
|
|||
|
|||
well thanks everyone for the support. Ive weened down from a fifth and a 12 pack per day to maybe a 6 pack monday or tues I'm gonna put it down. I feel it'll be less of a shock to my system. Following that I'll be going to a local meeting. Thanks for all the support everyone!
__________________
23' Martin Gruhn Spec Sinker Mahogany D-18 23' Gibson Southern Jumbo 22 Gibson SG 61' Standard 2017 MIM Telecaster SE Spark Amp Fishman Loudbox Mini. |
#39
|
|||
|
|||
Keep at it picker, you're worth it and I hope you are feeling all the support here. I celebrated 30 years of sobriety last december and am with those who have given you good suggestions.
Regarding 12 step programs, perhaps try some different meetings as each has a certain personality based on those that call it their home group. Find one that's a good fit and keep coming back. A combination of personal therapy and Celebrate Recovery groups have been a miracle for me, but you will find your way. Please continue to use the support of this forum, knowing that many of us have been right where you are today. |
#40
|
|||
|
|||
Picker. I’m right there with you. I’m a reserved, private person and a “program” is something I’m really averse to. I started drinking fairly heavily 20 years ago and quite heavily 11 years ago, when I retired and no longer had work responsibilities. Despite falls and blackouts, I kept telling myself that I just needed to cut back. I would bargain with myself, setting rules like “just 2 drinks” or “just not every day” and always broke those rules. With no particular precipitous event, on my 66th birthday, just six days ago, I decided, like you, that enough was enough and I just stopped. So far so good. It has not been easy but it has helped to stay very busy. I have been playing as much as my fingers will allow, changing strings, sorting setlists, whatever I can do to keep occupied. I applaud your courage to try getting out to a meeting. You have my best wishes.
|
#41
|
|||
|
|||
Quote:
It's good that you've gotten past that "I'll just drink on weekends" phase. Now give yourself a chance to really feel good by getting some help. My suggestion is to get yourself some therapy. If not in AA or one of the other recovery groups, get some one on one therapy. If you are shy you can call a local helpline and talk to someone anonymously. Life is beautiful and the rewards of sobriety are rich. You've got an opportunity to win all the prizes at the fair. Don't miss the chance!
__________________
Denise Martin HD-28V VTS, MFG Custom Taylor 358e 12 string Martin 00L-17 Voyage Air OM04 Breedlove Oregon Concert 1975 Aria 9422 |
#42
|
|||
|
|||
you're very smart to wean yourself off of the alcohol.
Not to be an alarmist, but to make sure you take care of yourself-please read the following: IF you feel sick, shaking, etc. get to an ER or call for an ambulance ASAP. Alcohol withdrawal is no joke and can cause seizures, deliurum tremens (which is NOT the "shakes"). Quote:
__________________
2021 Iris CH sunburst with ivoriod binding 2018 Guild M 20 1996 MIJ 50th Ann. Tele Deluxe |
#43
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
Speaking from my experience, far to often the 12 step program (at least the three I am aware of ) are very monolithic in perspective and while claiming and perhaps trying to help address those issues , end up unintentionally facilitating far to many participants to simply substitute the compulsion and dependency for the program, for the compulsion and dependency to drink, and thus allowing them to never really escape the cycle of dependency, and objectively confront and change those underlying contributory issues. Which I am guessing is a significant part of the high failure rate nationwide of the 12 step program .
__________________
Enjoy the Journey.... Kev... KevWind at Soundcloud KevWind at YouYube https://www.youtube.com/playlist?lis...EZxkPKyieOTgRD System : Studio system Avid Carbon interface , PT Ultimate 2023.12 -Mid 2020 iMac 27" 3.8GHz 8-core i7 10th Gen ,, Ventura 13.2.1 Mobile MBP M1 Pro , PT Ultimate 2023.12 Ventura 12.2.1 Last edited by KevWind; 05-20-2019 at 01:35 PM. |
#44
|
|||
|
|||
Good luck doesn't seem fitting so I'll simply say good work because that's what it'll take. I've known many addicted (near retirement military personnel) who would not take the first step. You have and that's the first part of the good work you're going to do for yourself.
|
#45
|
|||
|
|||
Quote:
Your ability to move past your addiction without any outside help is wonderful and amazing and I'm sincerely happy for you. Your experience is just that - your experience. It's not been my experience. I don't know how deep your addiction was, but mine was very deep and moving toward death. That's where trying to fix it myself got me; it got me into a completely disarrayed life and close to death. So I can say without reservation that AA saved my life. I doubt I'd have stopped drinking without it because I wouldn't have lived long enough to find my way out of the mess. It's been 34 years. And I have sat in too many AA meetings and listened to the stories of people who moved, by way of the 12 steps, from degradation and hopelessness to joyful, productive lives, to ever try and dissuade someone from not trying the steps, or to suggest that they won't help. A recovery program is no more monolithic than you allow it to be. Even so, a monolithic approach may what's needed for some people. Who am I to judge? Now, I will admit that I haven't been to a meeting in years. I no longer think of myself first and foremost as an alcoholic. Some people need to remind themselves of their alcoholism constantly in order to keep sober. That hasn't been necessary for me. I know that I can't drink, and it doesn't matter because I have no desire to, but my identity is not that I'm an alcoholic. That's just a peripheral fact. I am a flawed human being. My work on myself never ends, and it goes beyond the 12 steps. But one thing I know for sure; those steps were a lifeline for me, and an excellent roadmap to get me started on a healing path. There is a saying in AA, "It works if you work it." And I believe that's true. The failure rate you spoke of, and I saw many failures over the years, I believe can be attributed to a simple lack of commitment. The work is hard. Getting drunk is easy. Understand, I don't think AA is the only path to recovery. I think it's one path. But it's a good one that I recommend from personal experience. People are at their best when they're helping other people. Or allowing themselves to be helped by others. One person just needs a leg up, another needs to be lifted entirely and set in the saddle. It's okay. We just need to take the reins when we get there.
__________________
Denise Martin HD-28V VTS, MFG Custom Taylor 358e 12 string Martin 00L-17 Voyage Air OM04 Breedlove Oregon Concert 1975 Aria 9422 |