any advice on sobriety?

[golfreggie]

Originally Posted by Graybeard65

My humble two~ 12 steps didn’t work for me until I was ready to do the work. It is a program of action, and requires full measures. A friend suggested that I find another alcoholic that was in recovery, and talk - and talk - and talk.

In the community where I live, there are many, many of us that have found one another and a path to recovery. Call your local group, and ask for help - someone will listen, and help is often just a phone call away.

If you slip and fall, keep coming back - we don’t shoot our wounded, and you’re always welcome.

If you need to talk , pm me for my number.

I can echo this. I have 28 years of continuous sobriety, October 8, 1990. I would suggest you read, or re-read, the chapter on How it Works in the Big Book. For me, it became a matter of "the next drink will kill me". Alcoholism ceased to be inconvenient and became fatal. As long as the results of my drinking were nothing more than an inconvenience, I kept drinking and lying to myself. I was not a "normal" drinker. I was alcoholic and could not manage my life. They say you do it one day at a time, but until I wanted to be sober for the rest of my life, I never did want it for one day, because I could always start my sobriety the "next day", "tomorrow", or "I am not ready". I became ready to take certain steps, as they say in Chapter 5. I pray for the still suffering alcoholic constantly, so whether you know it or not, you have been prayed for. Just start, attend "daily" meetings for a while, don't miss. Make friends, find yourself an "AA Hero", someone you respect. My first AA Hero was a guy who had 6 months, not a 10 year person. I thought, if he can get 6 months so can I. Stay in the book, stay in the meetings, pray to your God each morning to keep you sober, talk to at least one other alcoholic daily, and thank your God each night for keeping you sober. And this may be hard, you must give up your drinking friends. We tend to hang out with like people, so I used to hang out with fellow drunks. We drank alike. So, I continued to hang out with fellow drunks, just ones in recovery! You will make great new friends, your outlook on life with change, and you will start telling yourself "why would I ever want another drink?". I sure hope sobriety becomes the most important thing you do each day. It sounds impossible, but it is definitely possible, and likely, if you "thoroughly follow our path" You can do it!

[golfreggie]

Originally Posted by KevWind

Yes I was in (more or less) a similar situation some 34 years ago yes the 12 step program did not work for me either, and understanding that has resulted in now having been sober ever since.
And I can tell you categorically and without reservation you can definitely stay physically and emotionally sober without being in a 12 step program, or any organized program. And contrary to the prototypical montra, you can do it on your own

Honestly.

BUT it definitely takes some "rigorous self honesty" And your understanding that and deciding "it's time I put down the booze" is the most important initial element. And is the right way to begin.

But understand it is only the beginning of a more involved process. Because as some have mentioned there are other life factors besides just quitting the alcohol, that you will need to come to terms with, that can and will affect your ability to stay sober.

While in fact everybodies situation is ultimately unique, there are a number of general factors that seem to often be in play. Problem drinkers are often simultaneously escaping dealing with other life problems and demons in their life (while sober) AND at the same time often use being stoned to dwell on and conjure up distorted perceptions of what their problems are, and who to blame.

It is these other factors and one's perceptions of them, in one's life that will need to be examined and re examined and addressed and changed (sober)
that will ultimately determine success.

Personally once I finally decided to quit ( totally) and that I no longer wanted to drink (Period),,,,
It was actually not that hard to simply not drink (regardless of where I was and who else was drinking)

BUT resolving the other issues in my life took years of hard work, brutal self honesty, and ongoing periodic reexamination, of my perceptions about life and truth. It took years to get more or less sorted out and headed down the right path and is a work in progress to this day.

You can do it if you are willing to look into all aspects of your life honestly.

I sure heard a whole lot of the principles or recovery in your post! As I have heard and believe, it isn't stopping that is our problem, it is staying stopped. And what you have described is a condensed version of a program of recovery that works, if you work it, and it sounds like you have worked the program without technically being in a fellowship of like minded people. You knew instinctively, or with advice from others you respect, on how to keep sober by working on you. Great job and congrats on the new life you started so long ago! Thanks for sharing

[golfreggie]

Originally Posted by Floridapicker

well thanks everyone for the support. Ive weened down from a fifth and a 12 pack per day to maybe a 6 pack monday or tues I'm gonna put it down. I feel it'll be less of a shock to my system. Following that I'll be going to a local meeting. Thanks for all the support everyone!

Great for you. As you can probably surmise our fellowship of acoustic guitar lovers has quite a vast experience of recovery from addictive substances and behavior. Have HOPE! I needed HOPE to do the hard things I thought I could not do. I have a special place in my heart for our fellow travelers, you can do it

[golfreggie]

Originally Posted by Floridapicker

Tuesday is day one. My wife is going to attend an open meeting with me.....wish me luck. Thanks again everyone!

Brother, you are taking some great action, congrats!

[golfreggie]

Now that you have a "Big Book", start reading. You may be like me, and one of the impressive chapters was Chapter 3, More About Alcoholism. I found when I was new that I read in the Big Book all about "Me". I identified. I read something virtually every day out of the Big Book. And at the meetings I attended they read the first part of Chapter 5 at the beginning of every meeting. You will find yourself amazed before you are half way through. Your new life will be so exciting you'll wonder why you would ever want to take a drink. My sponsor shared with me often that he could not conceive of why he would want to "go back" to the drinking and drugging life. It's true, sobriety is awesome!!
As it may be apparent, the sober life saved my life, and I get so excited to know that I have been saved to a life like no other. Forgive me for being so outspoken, but I once was lost, and now am found. You can do it!

[KevWind]

Originally Posted by golfreggie

I sure heard a whole lot of the principles or recovery in your post! As I have heard and believe, it isn't stopping that is our problem, it is staying stopped. And what you have described is a condensed version of a program of recovery that works, if you work it, and it sounds like you have worked the program without technically being in a fellowship of like minded people. You knew instinctively, or with advice from others you respect, on how to keep sober by working on you. Great job and congrats on the new life you started so long ago! Thanks for sharing

Thanks What I did not mention in that post was the ten or twelve years prior to actually totally quitting, that I spent periodically and unsuccessfully trying to quit or cut down on amount, as someone put it (negotiating with myself) and later with my wife "I will only have 4 beers tonight" . One thing that I finally came to realize was for me cutting down on amount was doomed to failure. Because when drinking I honestly had no clue as to how much I was actually consuming. So setting an amount was meaningless

The first time I experienced this and quickly forgot about it , was in my early 20's when my bartender roomate (who poured free beers for me) after about 6 months of drinking 4 or 5 nights a week at his bar for free. Late one night he told me he would not give me any more free beer because he had counted and just served me my 33 rd glass (6 oz, glass but still 33 ?? ) I would have absolutely sworn it 8 or 10 at the most..

In my late 20's myself and two buddies drank a case of beer then went to the Mustang Bar outside Reno and started playing pool. My buddy started buying Jackhammers =191 Everclear and OJ, after the bartender realized I had had 6 he of 9 he poured, he cut us off. We went over to the Mustang Ranch and after drinking 2 or 3 more Scotch on the Rocks I got all three of us thrown out for shooting off my mouth. We went to a casino bar and I had more Scotch amount unknown, No doubt the 1 and 1/2 grams of cocaine I snorted kept me on my feet. Then finally went back the buddies place where I started to drink water and throw it up still cold, drink water throw up, etc. repeatedly, for about 2 hours then passed out. Had I not kept drinking the water I may well have been dead.

Just a couple of numerous incidents

Fast forward 10 -15 years later when I seriously wanted to limit my intake , my wife would walk by at a party or social outing and say that is number 5. I would think to myself oh BS that's only 2 or 3 and honestly believe it.

[chistrummer]

Originally Posted by Floridapicker

Tuesday is day one. My wife is going to attend an open meeting with me.....wish me luck. Thanks again everyone!

Good luck and be strong.