|
|
#1
10-11-2013, 09:06 PM
|
|||
|
|||
An original and second
There's a lot of back story to this song that I won't go into here. Any feedback you have is greatly appreciated. My vocals need work and I totally biffed the returning to the tonic chord at the end (it cracks me up everytime I hear it!) but I wanted to get it posted and I have to go fold laundry. The guitar is my Taylor 414ce ltd. Both guitar and vocals are run through my Genz-Benz amp and I recorded with the voice memo on my iPhone.
https://soundcloud.com/greg-wasberg/marys-fender 
|
|
#2
10-11-2013, 09:19 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Very good song and well performed.
__________________
Mike My Soundcloud Page https://soundcloud.com/membler-1 '68 D18 Martin 00-28VS Maury's Music Custom Eastman Travel Guitar Martin LX Travel Guitar Greven 12 Fret FX E20SS Eastman 00-15 Martin Collings 000-2h Gold Tone AC-6 6 string banjo Voyage Air VAOM-02 '52 RI Tele
|
|
#3
10-13-2013, 05:06 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Kudos on this fine tune Geedub...You have a strong voice that mixes well with guitar!!! When I 1st looked at the title I thought it would be about a dent in a car...LOL... Would be interested in the backstory when you have time Amigo...
Thanks for posting and go wash another load...  
|
|
#4
10-13-2013, 11:33 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
|
|
#5
10-14-2013, 01:42 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
 That was great! Tell us the whole story!
|
|
#6
10-14-2013, 02:10 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
I liked the song. I listened to it twice and it still remains enigmatic as to whether it's about 2 people who met or a father and daughter, and what they are letting go of, or if that's a general thing. Anyway it leaves me with questions which can be a good thing if you want people to keep thinking about the song after they hear it.
As for your voice, work on support from your diaphragm and that will help you with the high notes. That long high note (sounds like a D?) is important to the song so you want it to sound as good as it can. It's below the break (meaning it's in chest, not head voice) so all you really need to do is support it and it will do it's thing.
__________________
Warren My website: http://draudio56.wix.com/warren-bendler "It's hard...calming the Beatle inside of me."
|
|
#7
10-15-2013, 04:53 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
The rest of the story...
First off, thanks everyone for the helpful and encouraging comments and YamaYairi you’re right on about not me not adequately supporting that high note. I have a bad habit of not supporting my vocals when I’m also playing guitar.
So here’s the rest of the story… First a little back ground. In April of 2012, I upgraded to a Taylor 414ce ltd as a gift to myself after a long, difficult divorce and a marriage in which playing guitar often fell by the wayside. Back in April of 2012 my friend Larry and our two sons took a road trip to Dave’s Guitar shop in LaCrosse WI. For those of you that are interested you will find that story here: http://www.acousticguitarforum.com/f...ghlight=geedub Fast forward to June 2013 and I’m attending a family reunion. As a kid these reunions were always a good time with over 40 cousin’s in attendance and my older cousins always brought guitars and would put on an informal concert/jam session. I had not attended one in many years. I asked my nephew Ben and cousin Eric and to bring their guitars so we could take a little time to jam, etc. The gathering was smaller than in years past but after burger’s, brats and potato salad the three of us sat down in the screened in porch and started to play out of a binder full of lead sheets I had brought. We were in the middle of John Fogerty’s Déjà vu All Over Again when I looked up and saw my cousin Mary had joined the group. It was as though she just appeared. She was playing a mint green Fender acoustic with a lacquer finish. Born on Christmas Day, Mary is a year older than me. I don’t recall the last time I saw her before that day. As teenagers we played guitar maybe one or two times but that was it. After the song finished I looked and said “Mary!...Hi!...Wow!, that is one green guitar!” “Isn’t it awesome!” she said, “I got it when my dad died. Three days before that I saw it hanging in a music store in St. Cloud and couldn’t stop thinking about it. I called my niece, sent her the money to pick it up and she brought it to me the night of his wake.” I was always close to her father and still miss him and her words brought me back to what it felt like to be kids in this large family where we all felt shiny, new and welcome and the problems of the grown up world were still far away. We spent the next hour or two running through each other’s collection of cover songs. At some point Mary looked up and asked “Do you have any songs of your own?” The question caught me off guard and I think it was the casual, “well, why wouldn’t you have written any of your own songs?” manner in which she asked it that really settled in and got me thinking. On my way home that night I started thinking to myself “You know that she’s got a point. When are you gonna find a voice of your own here?” That night I started dictating ideas, lines, etc. into my iPhone. Fast forward to the weekend of August 23rd. I’m on my way out to Custer, SD with Larry. He’s invited me to accompany him to a house blessing and mini music festival at his former song writing partner Dave’s house. Rumor has it Michael Johnson will be doing a set. Larry and I go back to a time before either of us were born and the trip across SD is “old home week.” That night we play a little guitar, get a tour of Dave’s new house and crash at Outlaw Ranch Bible Camp. The next day is spent getting ready for the house blessing, eating burgers, brats and potato salad and enjoying the music. Michael Johnson had the flu. In the midst of all this and in the spirit of the day, I randomly take out my iPhone and start working on the lyrics for what I was then calling “Mary’s Mint Green Fender.” By the end of the day I’ve got a few pieces in place but am still feeling like the novice that I am and I’m not sure how to get this song to go where I want. As we begin the five-hour drive back, I start bouncing lyrics and lines and ideas off of Larry who has been writing his own music since the 1980’s (see http://www.dakotaroadmusic.com). He asks many questions and offers comments as we bounce ideas back and forth. After about an hour I notice that the song that’s emerging is not the song I had in mind and I remind myself to “follow the thread” and “don’t force it.” About halfway across South Dakota the first verse is getting close we start working on the chorus: “She got a guitar, to hold while letting go…” and it finally dawns on me: “You know where this is going don’t you?” “It’s your song, where do you think it’s going?” he says more than asks. “Yeah, I know…” before my emotions choke off my words…“let’s see if we can get another verse.” Two hours later we arrive at the Wal-Mart parking lot, where my intrepid old Suburban is waiting. The song’s not finished but I’ve got something that feels pretty good. Something that feels both personal and universal at the same time. As I’m getting out of his car Larry says “go finish it up and when you’re working on the music, DON’T write it in a minor key!” For the rest of the way home I chuckle at his comment. Over the next couple of weeks I add what becomes the second verse and find a melody. It took another two weeks before I could sing it all the way through without choking up. I haven’t played it for Mary yet.
|
|
#8
10-15-2013, 06:02 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Oh, wow, now that you gave the back story it makes perfect sense! It's brilliant! Now that I know that, I say let it be enigmatic. You really wrote a beautiful song, and I think it's cool that it has 2 different points of view.
__________________
Warren My website: http://draudio56.wix.com/warren-bendler "It's hard...calming the Beatle inside of me."
|
|
#9
10-15-2013, 09:33 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
|
|
#10
10-16-2013, 04:38 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
|
|
#11
10-18-2013, 03:39 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Really nice song Gary! Shame on me for missing it the first time. I try to catch singer songwriters especially when they are new at writing because I'm pretty new and usually have some insights from the perspective of a newer writer. I really like this song. I think it is always a good idea to post the lyrics so listeners can follow along. That picking pattern sets a wonderful stage for the song. You can just tell there is a great story to follow. Vocals are very good and confident. I think it is a good tip to work on singing from the diaphragm. Sort of sing from deeeeeeeep down in. I started feeling it by exhaling and singing at the same time. Breathing is quite important and I try to keep my lungs a bit more than 3/4 full and top them off with air whenever I can. Not sure this song needs it, but I'm big on bridges in my songs. I use them to turn the story or to tell the "truth of truths". For me they are the thematic and/or emotional highlight of the song. In this one. if I were going to add a bridge, it might be about her father, or how she got her love of music from her father, or how she can't talk to him in person but speaks to him with every note she plays. Like I said, I'm not saying this song needs it, but in general, to me the bridge is the most powerful tool in story telling. GREAT job, GREAT song, and so nice to write for, and about somebody else. Well done!
__________________
"A songwriter's job is to go digging around in his soul and come up with, and put to paper, what others can't express about the soul itself." -Radney Foster Ranger's Soundclick page Roy's Reverbnation page
|
