Written to my friend as he was dying of cancer

[SongwriterFan]

I put up a first version of this song about a month ago (the day my friend died of cancer). I've known Jeff Brooks for ten years. He was the founder of a local band, The Bodarks StringBand. They covered a lot of my favorite songs that were NOT country (what genre I almost always listen to), and even introduced me to other songs/genres that I had no interest in (except for their amazing covers of those songs).

Once, when Jeff was performing by himself, he put me on stage for a few songs to play bass with him (I'd just bought a ukulele bass and was showing it off to him . . I had no idea he was gonna put me up there with him. He was one of a few people who were responsible for me starting to write songs a few years ago. Who knew that I'd have written over twenty songs now and put out two albums?

A year ago, he developed tongue cancer. They replaced half his tongue and declared him cancer free. He showed up at my first CD Release Party even though he'd just recently gotten out of surgery for that. Last year, between Thanksgiving and Christmas, I found out that he'd been told he now had Stage 4 lung cancer. I knew then that it was very likely I'd lose my friend soon, and the thought "this one's gonna hurt" hit me like the proverbial truck.

After six weeks of chemo and radiation treatment, he was in so much pain that he went to MD Anderson in Houston (we are in the Dallas area). By then the cancer had spread to his bones, and he even developed a brain tumor. During the last week of his life, he decided to discontinue any new treatment and focus was on keeping him comfortable.

I finished the first draft of this song on the day he died. Within just an hour or so of his death, actually. Now I've done my final (?) edits to the lyrics, and have slowed it down a bit. Later this week I will be attending his Celebration of Life with some of his closest friends and family. I am honored to be invited to that.

The first song I wrote was written to a friend who had passed away. And now this one. I do *not* want to write another one of these. But it amazes me how things about myself come out in these songs . . . things I never thought I'd put into a song or reveal to the world. Both songs are 100% true.

“This One’s Gonna Hurt”
(David Pennybaker)

Spent most of my life / Tryin’ not to get too close
Never savored life’s highs / Hopin’ to numb the lows
Maybe I’m just / Startin’ to show my age
Look what I’ve become / Never used to feel this way

This one’s gonna hurt / Can’t avoid the pain
Gettin’ what I deserve / Dancin’ near the flame
This won’t be the last / It ain’t the first
One thing I’ve learned / This one’s gonna hurt

‘Bout ten years ago / Started meetin’ folks like you
Music brought us closer / Than I’d ever been used to
Fin’ly learned how to laugh / Almost learned how to smile
Happier than I’ve been / In quite a while

This one’s gonna hurt / Can’t avoid the pain
Gettin’ what I deserve / Dancin’ near the flame
This won’t be the last / It ain’t the first
One thing I’ve learned / This one’s gonna hurt

Along the way / I’ve lost a few
I never thought / I’d be losing you

This one’s gonna hurt / Can’t avoid the pain
Gettin’ what I deserve / Burned by the flame
You won’t be the last / Feels like the first
One thing I’ve learned / Yeah, one thing I’ve learned
This one’s gonna hurt / Yeah, this one’s gonna hurt

[SalFromChatham]

My condolences. Swell song. Good on ya.

[ReneAsologuitar]

Sorry for your loss, and condolence to you, my friend!
Get tribute, to a great friend, and a truly great loss.
I like the lyrics, and I can feel your emotions on this song.

[Chickee]

The song says as much about you as it does your friend.

I’m sorry for this hole in you life.

fd

[Danz567]

Beautiful song David. I know exactly how you feel and I feel your pain in the song. I lost my best friend a few years ago too and wrote a song in his memory.
Dan

[SongwriterFan]

Originally Posted by Chickee

The song says as much about you as it does your friend.

You are right, it absolutely does.

Originally Posted by Danz567

Beautiful song David. I know exactly how you feel and I feel your pain in the song. I lost my best friend a few years ago too and wrote a song in his memory.

Thank you. I think I mentioned above that he first song I wrote was also to a friend who passed away under very tragic circumstances. Like this song, the words were also 100% true. I wrote it to her after her death, to let her know how that made me feel.

Here is that song. I still think about her every day.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B6uFJnMx8ao