What woud life be like without a wacky neighbor?

Bob Womack · #1 07-22-2019, 07:12 AM

We've got a couple of classic nutty neighbors on our block. Last week my lawn service guy cleared some brush for me. He cut it into the regulation 4' length and piled it as a neat little regulation 4'x4' pile on the curb along with one (1) plastic bag of grass clippings in a clear bag as prescribed by city regulation. One of my nutty neighbors, a retiree, owns three vehicles. He parks his favorite in the garage and parks his other two, including his crappy Saturday truck, at the curbs so he can just drive into and out of the garage. As a result, I get to see his beat-up, $2000 truck out my living room window all week long. He parks it in front of my house so that it doesn't mess up the view from his own living room. But that's okay: my father taught me that in order to enjoy privacy and freedom we must extend them to our neighbors. The debris made him park a few feet back so that his truck was visible from his house.

Last Friday was trash pick-up day. We knew the city would be picking up the brush and bag that day. It's how things work around here. However, at 8am on Friday, before the trucks come around, my wife heard the doorbell ring. And ring. And insistent knocks between the doorbells. Of course, our two Labrador Retrievers go nuts and climb the walls. Alert mode. My wife was still in her nightgown but wrapped a blanket around herself and answered the door, opening it a crack while restraining the still-barking dogs.

It's nutty neighbor, he of the pickup, and he is livid and aggressive:
Nutty opens the conversation, yelling: "Who put this TRASH on the street?!?" (points at the pile)
Wife, taken aback: "My landscaper."
Nutty: "You can't just pile your trash on the street! Did you call for a special pickup?!?"
Dogs: "Woof-Woof-woof!!!"
Wife: "Um, no. It is cut to the legal length limit, piled smaller than the legal limit, and the grass is in a clear bag. They will pick it up today automatically."
Dogs: "Woof-Woof-woof!!!"
Nutty: "Harrumph!!!" Stamps foot and stomps away.

My wife's mind was boggled. Thank God for the magnificent performance of the dogs, who let nutty neighbor know his limits. You go, dogs. And the city did, indeed pick up the stuff that day.

Didn't jo mamma teach you to leave people alone until 9am?

Bob

Slothead56 · #2 07-22-2019, 07:19 AM

I could take down the server with stories about our neighbor. How about when his kids (grown) dragged a couple of tarps of raked up leaves across my lawn to dump in my cul de sac for township pickup. (It was the shortest distance to a paved road.)

We got an early snow and the plow threw all those leaves on my yard-which was immaculately raked-where they sat until the following Spring.

Just one of many, many, many.

Suffice it to say, yes, everybody has one. Just hope you’re not it!

RP · #3 07-22-2019, 07:36 AM

I suppose I'm pretty lucky because my only anti-neighbor stories revolve around those who let their cats run loose. Oh that all of life's problems should be that minor....

RedJoker · #4 07-22-2019, 07:38 AM

I'm just the country mouse reading these comments thinking: People actually rake the leaves? People don't have burn piles for branches? Heck, I mow with a farm tractor, ag wheels and all.

But then, you guys probably don't have the neighbor firing his high power rifle off his back porch either.

RP · #5 07-22-2019, 07:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RedJoker

...But then, you guys probably don't have the neighbor firing his high power rifle off his back porch either.

Well, actually........

TJE · #6 07-22-2019, 07:51 AM

Another reason I don’t like neighbors! Or living in town!

islandguitar · #7 07-22-2019, 08:15 AM

Our in-town neighbor on the easterly side (our back yard) qualifies for this post!!
Referred to by our neighborhood as "Witchy Lady", this woman lives for a fight and will go "legal" at the drop of a hat. so many stories of this sort over the last 15 years or so. It appears to be her "entertainment".......harassing workers who have yard work to accomplish in yards OTHER than hers.......the list goes on and on. She hates dogs and will verbally lash out at anyone who she thinks might be walking their pooch too close to her yard.
Fortunately, she's a recluse, so she's not hopping around our block each day. But, it's sad not to have a friendly connection with a house so close to ours. The previous folks were wonderful and there were many great back yard conversations and fun connections. (sigh).

Bob Womack · #8 07-22-2019, 08:57 AM

I actually grew up with an abandoned limestone quarry in my backyard. We always had a good backstop for shooting. We had the sheriff called on us once but he was friendly and fascinated with the firearms we were using.

This is the first city I've actually lived in. Ain't normal.

Bob

AX17609 · #9 07-22-2019, 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RedJoker

But then, you guys probably don't have the neighbor firing his high power rifle off his back porch either.

I got one of those. When I inquired about it, I was advised that it was the "sound of freedom" and I ought to just move away if I didn't like it.

Daniel Grenier · #10 07-22-2019, 10:17 AM

"Cidiots", we call'em back here (short for City Idiots). Stories like these make me thankful I live in the boonies. And, I like your dogs already!

architype · #11 07-22-2019, 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daniel Grenier

"Cidiots", we call'em back here (short for City Idiots). Stories like these make me thankful I live in the boonies. And, I like your dogs already!

Bad neighbors are not exclusive to urban areas. I've lived in the city and the country and they are everywhere.

Jcamp · #12 07-22-2019, 11:31 AM

I think I’d go to his house at 8 the next morning and let him know the trash had been picked up, seems like the neighborly thing to do

joe white · #13 07-22-2019, 11:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jcamp

I think I’d go to his house at 8 the next morning and let him know the trash had been picked up, seems like the neighborly thing to do

LOL, Yes, this!

Denny B · #14 07-22-2019, 12:39 PM

I have a neighbor who will cut his grass at 07:30 on Sunday mornings, run his power washer for 8 hours at a time cleaning all the cracks in his sidewalks, and when he's in his hot tub on his deck, it sounds like Foghorn Leghorn is getting drunk on my back porch...

Last month he came over to tell me that it bothered him when my dog barks at him...I told him that it might help if he'd stop waving his arms around and yelling at the dog, but he said he didn't "accept" that he might be part of the problem...

I then calmly related all the above things that he does, without a complaint from me, and threw in the times when he sounded like Foghorn Leghorn having sex when his wife wasn't with him in the hot tub...

He turned around and left without a word and hasn't spoken to me again...

But he hasn't cut grass at 07:30 again, and I haven't heard Foghorn Leghorn since then either...

rmp · #15 07-22-2019, 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Denny B

He turned around and left without a word and hasn't spoken to me again...

But he hasn't cut grass at 07:30 again, and I haven't heard Foghorn Leghorn since then either...

Of course, it's too late to help, but I had the perfect response for FogHorn..

"I say boy, you are exceeding the limits of mah medication..."