#16
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Singing live your own compositions is already quite a handful, for virtually everyone. I would focus on songwriting (which is not live performance-related) and singing; guitar playing can be done by others, or slowly introduced.
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#17
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Thank you - II
Thank you commenters for the next batch of thoughtful guidance. Agree on Toastmasters or something non-music related to understand how one relates to an audience. I so appreciate the commenter who understands that I'm not being hard on myself by looking critically at my weaknesses.
I recently got a one-hour performance coaching session from an elderly friend who teaches acting and vocals. I jokingly refer to her as Simon Cowell, because she levels with me. I'm not good onstage, and I'm not sure I ever will be, and that is not self-criticism. It's reality. I'm an amateur player, but I take music seriously because music is a big part of who I am. I don't do it to have fun or entertain; I do it because I have something to say. I'm a writer-editor by profession, and the way writers improve is to distance ourselves from our work and get real - which means hearing the constructive criticism of others. I also appreciated the suggestion that I focus on my vocals and songwriting and let others play the instruments, where possible. I know it sounds odd, but I don't play music to have fun, although that's often a byproduct. I have a great sense of humor, but can't imagine cracking jokes onstage. I'm going to talk to my music partner about how he can better support our duo (ie, step up and sing harmonies). He feels that we can get 45 minutes worth of material together. That's where all this is coming from...not open mics, but can I get to another level? |
#18
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Just stay true to yourself and gradually become comfortable on stage and people will grow to enjoy your natural presence there, guaranteed. They can generally sense a fake, and while they'll enjoy some of them, they'll notice the difference when you're genuine. Quote:
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Open mics can be a fun outlet at times, a great place to start, grow and meet others, but are also a dead end for many players. I can see you gaining confidence and experience at open mics, and a few months from now posting about the gigs that you've been doing as a result of the experience gained.
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#19
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To me writing music, playing an instrument and performing are 3 separate skills. Refining performing even further is becoming an “entertainer”. As a life long player it took me a long time to recognize that being a good instrumentalist wasn’t any guarantee of going over well with an audience.
For most people performing is a separate skill that requires it’s own “practice”.... you either want to be good at that or not. Some people are lucky enough to feel comfortable being themselves in front amid a crowd and are natural entertainers who are also good players and singers. Other people have successful careers “acting” like they are comfortable on stage, but if you see them often enough you can see that every “intimate, off hand” moment and “story” are all carefully scripted. There are some very prominent stars that have been doing the same introductions to the same songs for the last 40 years. Decide what you want to be. There are differences paths to “success” and happiness. See what part of the equation fills your need. |
#20
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Sorry for not reading all the responses, but I’ll jump in and add my only bit of advice:
The more comfortable you are with the material, the more comfortable you’ll be performing it in front of an audience. I only do covers, but my most nervous times performing are when I’ve been asked to learn a new song for a wedding with just a couple days advance notice. Lots of pressure to not mess it up.
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2015 Martin D-18 1982 Martin HD-28 2013 Taylor 314ce 2004 Fender Telecaster MIM 2010 Martin DCX1RE 1984 Sigma DM3 Fender Mustang III v2 |
#21
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Journey OF660, Adamas 1581, 1587, 1881, SMT - PRS Cu22, Ibanez JEM-FP, S540, RG550, Fender Stratocaster Heil PR-35 : Audio Technica AE-6100, ATM5R : Beyer TG-V90r : Sennheiser 441, 609, 845, 906 : ElectroVoice ND767 HK 608i Friedman WW Smallbox, Marshall 4212 |
#22
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My wife and I play about 100 gigs a year. I had similar issues, just not quite as severe. I made up my mind in the early days that if I sounded 50-60% as good in public as I do at home that it was a win. The more I played, the higher the % has gone. I now play 90-95% as good in public now. IMO, when you hit the 98-99% mark you are ready to be a full time pro (provided that your at-home skills are adequate). This is just my take on it, but I have found it helpful. You will also find that the higher the % goes, the more forgiving you are with your own shortcomings too - 'cause we all got 'em.
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Roy Ibanez, Recording King, Gretsch, Martin G&L, Squier, Orange (x 2), Bugera, JBL, Soundcraft Our duo website - UPDATED 7/26/19 |
#23
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Performance like guitar playing or singing takes practice and repetition to get completely comfortable so it takes time. As others have said, you have to keep at it and put in the time to have the material down. I recently stopped pursuing performing mostly due to time constraints and wanting to become a better singer and guitar player before I focused on putting time and energy into what is required to become a better performer.
Performance anxiety is common and it is easier for some to manage it and harder for others. But, preparation instills confidence and confidence is one antidote to anxiety. Having a performance coach, if you find one that is a good match for you, can be very helpful. Best, Jayne |
#24
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It's funny, but for me, I always do my best when I've got an audience to play for, and I suppose at least one reason for it is that I can sense their attention and openness to what I'm singing/playing. I love a quiet audience that is all turned your direction and feel that every bit of effort is so totally worth it at those times.
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Journey OF660, Adamas 1581, 1587, 1881, SMT - PRS Cu22, Ibanez JEM-FP, S540, RG550, Fender Stratocaster Heil PR-35 : Audio Technica AE-6100, ATM5R : Beyer TG-V90r : Sennheiser 441, 609, 845, 906 : ElectroVoice ND767 HK 608i Friedman WW Smallbox, Marshall 4212 |
#25
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I share a lot of the same struggles of what the OP is going through. I believe folks like us tend to be very self critical. I recently performed in my company's talent show anf I was a nervous wreck. My fingers were literally shaking throughout the piece. I have performed numerous times before as a music student but the nervous breakdowns were never this extreme.....and I wonder if my mentality going into this talent show was all wrong. I had all the intentions of winning this friendly competition and I wonder if by thinking that way - I put more pressure on myself.
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#26
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People who are used to critical attention have a hard time performing. People who desire any attention that is given them thrive.
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Waterloo WL-S, K & K mini Waterloo WL-S Deluxe, K & K mini Iris OG, 12 fret, slot head, K & K mini Follow The Yellow Brick Road |
#27
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This is going to sound glib, but...
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Meditation. They even have yoga that's particularly directed toward performers. Also, check out the books The Inner Game of Music and Effortless Mastery.
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+ Gibson J-15 + Martin OOOC Nylon + Recording King ROS-16 12 fret + Reverend Double Agent OG |
#28
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Every performing musician that I know has dealt with stage fright. How each one dealt with it, including myself was a personal Journey, but there are a few Universal truths when it comes to stage fright IMHO.
The first is stage fright creates tension and where there’s tension it's almost impossible to breathe diaphragmatically. And if you can't breathe correctly you just can't sing at your best. I also feel that improper breathing effects how we play. Another truth is, I know I State the obvious when I say this but stage fright is all about fear, fear of rejection fear of being judged unworthy ....Etc I think the best therapy is force yourself to do it, week after week month after month year after year. Just keep playing, breathe and deal with your fear head-on All the best on your journey
__________________
David Webber Round-Body Furch D32-LM MJ Franks Lagacy OM Rainsong H-WS1000N2T Stonebridge OM33-SR DB Stonebridge D22-SRA Tacoma Papoose Voyage Air VAD-2 1980 Fender Strat A few Partscaster Strats MIC 60s Classic Vib Strat Last edited by Mbroady; 12-04-2019 at 10:59 PM. |
#29
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duplicate post
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David Webber Round-Body Furch D32-LM MJ Franks Lagacy OM Rainsong H-WS1000N2T Stonebridge OM33-SR DB Stonebridge D22-SRA Tacoma Papoose Voyage Air VAD-2 1980 Fender Strat A few Partscaster Strats MIC 60s Classic Vib Strat Last edited by Mbroady; 12-02-2019 at 01:31 PM. |
#30
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Meditation, just breathing. 10 deep breaths in through nose, hold a second or two, out through mouth. You'll be amazed how that can calm you down in the moment.
As for being nervous all day, that's a classic case of "psyching yourself out." Best cure for that is to be well practiced and prepared. Might even mean it's okay to simplify a part or something, so you know you can nail it. My thing when performing (when I get to decide what to play) is to open with something I could play in my sleep. Get the juices flowing, get into a groove. The other thing I'll tell you, that I'm sure you've heard but it bears repeating...99% of your audience will never notice a mistake--unless you draw attention to it. |
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originals, performance anxiety, recording, studio |
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