Participating here pays off.

[sdelsolray]

When I have thought some constructive criticism would be helpful, I often PM the person privately.

[Wrighty]

Originally Posted by Glennwillow

Hi Wrighty,

I believe you, but I do think you are one of the small group of exceptions. This is to your credit, no doubt about it. It's a very good way to be.

But my own experience is that most people do not want to be told what they are doing wrong. Sometimes correction is the only option and there is no other choice but to redirect someone, especially when the safety of others is at stake. I was the chief engineer for a manufacturing company for 38 years so I directed a lot of people over the years. I'm sure I offended a few engineers over the years with my criticisms when they were necessary, but in general, I found ways to encourage and make corrections in a fairly gentle way.

Here is a summary from Dale Carnegie's old book, "How to Win Friends and Influence People."

******************************
Six ways to Make People Like You

Become genuinely interested in other people.
Smile.
Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
Be a good listener. ...
Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.

Don't criticize, condemn, or complain. Human nature does not like to admit fault. ...
Give honest and sincere appreciation. Appreciation is one of the most powerful tools in the world. ...
Arouse in the other person an eager want.
****************************************

"How to Win Friends & Influence People" gets a fair amount of criticism these days. I think the book title choice was very unfortunate, but there is still a lot of very good advice in this book. I read this book when I was young and used his advice in my life, not to manipulate people but to allow me to be more effective in my dealings with others. I think practicing these rules helped me to be an effective leader in my job. The fewer barriers I put between myself and others, the better communication works in both directions.

Now... back to our regular programming.

- Glenn

All fair points Glenn.

It’s a shame that there isn’t room for more real feedback from those equipped to give it - even if it’s only 50% accurate, then that’s 50% more to work on than you had going in.

I think the key for me is whether a person actively seeks feedback as opposed to just posting something they might be pleased with.

Have a great day :-)

[phcorrigan]

Originally Posted by sdelsolray

When I have thought some constructive criticism would be helpful, I often PM the person privately.

That's a good approach. You might also consider first complimenting the performance, then adding something like "By the way, have you considered trying (insert suggestion here)?"

A suggestion for improvement is usually better than a criticism.

[Gordon Currie]

Interesting side discussion on giving criticism.

The Toastmasters organization for teaching and practicing public speaking has a significant 'side track' for speech evaluation. (You can get awards and win competitions doing evaluation.)

Essentially, the evaluation 'template' is called the Toastmaster sandwich.
You always start AND conclude by highlighting a positive factor or strength. The first and last thing a speaker hears is praise.

These provide the 'bread' which contains the 'meat' - the CONSTRUCTIVE criticism.

In this program, one NEVER offers ANYTHING that could be taken as a criticism without a suggestion for improvement. Criticism without context and encouragement often ends up being an impedance mismatch, with a lot of energy expended to achieve... not much.

Additionally, the Toastmaster program works to reframe unhelpful communication. You never hear 'right/wrong' or 'good/bad' but instead more or less 'effective/impactful/clear' etc.

If you believe you have valuable information to impart, it sure helps to spend a little time making sure your 'gift' arrives at the recipient effectively.

[Don W]

I have learned so much from this site and have enjoyed everything and all of the performances. I am motivated even more when I look at the latest posts of the day and have gotten great replies from all of my questions. The moderators are great...they keep out the crap...so many sites do not.

[Glennwillow]

Sorry to take this thread off track again, but on the subject of criticism, recent studies show that when a person hears 9 positive reactions and then one negative criticism, all the person registers is the one negative thing. The criticism is the only thing heard.

Some social scientists have postulated that this reaction is part of our defense mechanism from way back in history, that we look for any hint of a threat to protect ourselves. You know, as if that huge brown bear is offering us a nice, juicy apple.

I don't like being criticized anymore than the next person but when I am, I really do evaluate the criticism to see if there is any truth to it. I do make adjustments as much as I can to account for these criticisms over time. For example, I have changed my use of reverb as a result of comments.

And again, this is another reason why it's good to be part of the AGF. Even when it's difficult and painful, criticism can lead to improvement if we are honest with ourselves. Well, as honest as we know how to be...

- Glenn

[Brent Hahn]

Originally Posted by Glennwillow

Sorry to take this thread off track again, but on the subject of criticism, recent studies show that when a person hears 9 positive reactions and then one negative criticism, all the person registers is the one negative thing.

A guy recognized me on the street — we hadn’t met, but had played on the same record. We both had lots of complimentary things to say to each other. And then he said, “So... is bass your main instrument?” And my immediate thought was, “Do I play it like it isn’t?”

[KevWind]

As far as critique I think there is a difference between this record forum and the show and tell forum

I only offer positive comment or no comment in the show and tell

Here if someone asks for suggestions about their recording I think (hope) they are wanting an honest evaluation. Even so when I do comment , I try to be positive but honest, find what I like about what they are doing and suggest things that I think can maybe improve that.
If they ask for gear advice I try to get them to offer a budget range and suggest based on that

[Glennwillow]

Originally Posted by Brent Hahn

A guy recognized me on the street — we hadn’t met, but had played on the same record. We both had lots of complimentary things to say to each other. And then he said, “So... is bass your main instrument?” And my immediate thought was, “Do I play it like it isn’t?”

That's funny, but I would have had the same interpretation!

- Glenn

[DCCougar]

Originally Posted by Mr. Paul

Doug Young's explanation of the mid side recording technique was a game changer for me.

I was google searching on "how to fingerpick like Leo Kottke" and ran into Doug's video Kottke-style lesson. Fantastic! It's basically the only one out there! Watching videos of Leo playing, his fingers are flying and they go too fast to see what he's doing. Doug gave me a start anyway.

[RodB]

Originally Posted by KevWind

As far as critique I think there is a difference between this record forum and the show and tell forum

I only offer positive comment or no comment in the show and tell

Here if someone asks for suggestions about their recording I think (hope) they are wanting an honest evaluation.......

I agree. There can be various motives for posting a tune, and when people ask for critique here in the Record forum it often leads to the most interesting and rich source of opinions thanks to the knowledgeable contributors.

I have learned a lot from both this and the Build and Repair forum over the years because of the willingness of experts to contribute.

[Brent Hahn]

Originally Posted by Glennwillow

That's funny, but I would have had the same interpretation!

- Glenn

I told my wife about it and she said, "Oh, he was just making conversation." I'm gonna tell myself that. :-)

[anton]

I know ive learned alot following the advice here. Thanks everyone!

[SprintBob]

Originally Posted by KevWind

As far as critique I think there is a difference between this record forum and the show and tell forum

I only offer positive comment or no comment in the show and tell

Here if someone asks for suggestions about their recording I think (hope) they are wanting an honest evaluation. Even so when I do comment , I try to be positive but honest, find what I like about what they are doing and suggest things that I think can maybe improve that.
If they ask for gear advice I try to get them to offer a budget range and suggest based on that

And I thank you for the advice you’ve offered in my posts and threads here.

[KevWind]

Originally Posted by SprintBob

And I thank you for the advice you’ve offered in my posts and threads here.

My pleasure because I think it's a two way street and well all learn and benefit here