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  #46  
Old 04-27-2017, 01:59 AM
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  #47  
Old 04-27-2017, 04:09 AM
Ozzy the dog Ozzy the dog is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trion12 View Post
This guy has always wanted to meet and have a conversation with some really intelligent people so he finds out where the local Mensa club is and when they meet and goes to the local bar around the corner from their club after their meeting ends thinking that some of these incredibly bright people will probably be there having a drink after their meeting is finished.

So he walks up to the first person at the bar and asks, what's your IQ? The guy at the bar replies very confidently, its 150. He then asks him, do you think that we will ever come up with a unified theory which can accommodate both relativity and quantum mechanics?
Well, they get into a deep discussion about theoretical physics and have a really greet conversation about the universe, philosophy and all matter of related subjects. After a while the guy at the bar says: Nice talking to you but I need to get home.

So, our friend walks up to the next guy at the bar and asks him, what's your IQ? The guy at the bar replies in a relaxed manner, its 140.
He then asks him, what do you think about the role of neo-liberal economics with regard the the current wave of populism which seems to be spreading in the Western world?
So they get into a deep discussion of modern geo-politics and the implications for the future and after a whole the guy at the bar says, hey it's been great talking to you but I have to run.

He then asks the next guy at the bar, whats your IQ, to which the guy replies around 100. "So who do you think will win the NBA this year" he asks him? So they get into a discussion about basketball, baseball and all variety of sports after which the guy at the bar has to leave.

So our friend walks up the last person at the bar sitting by himself and asks him, what's your IQ? The guy at the bar replies in a mumbling voice without making eye contact, I dunno, maybe 60 maybe 70, to which our friend then asks: so what kind of strings do you use?
I didn't understand this one... I'll get me guitar...
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  #48  
Old 04-27-2017, 04:35 PM
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Why are violins bigger than violas?
They're actually the same size. It's just that violinist's heads are bigger.

What's the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw? Vibrato.

Why is it that sound guys, when performing mic checks, can count no higher than three? This is not a joke, I really want to know!













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  #49  
Old 04-27-2017, 05:53 PM
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Three F clefs walk into a bar full of G clefs. The first one pulls up short and says to his buddies "Boys, this is gonna be nothin' but treble"..
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Old 04-28-2017, 12:25 PM
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Three F clefs walk into a bar full of G clefs. The first one pulls up short and says to his buddies "Boys, this is gonna be nothin' but treble"..
Love it!

Keep 'em comin, folks.
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  #51  
Old 04-28-2017, 12:41 PM
Moocheng Moocheng is offline
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.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZz1HRZbYlI
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  #52  
Old 04-28-2017, 12:51 PM
Steadfastly Steadfastly is offline
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We need a "like" button on this forum. There are a few I hadn't heard before and a few good ones that still bring a smile to my face.
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  #53  
Old 04-28-2017, 05:28 PM
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  #54  
Old 04-28-2017, 10:01 PM
Jerry D Jerry D is offline
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What's the definition of a professional guitarist? He loads $5,000.00 worth of equipment into a $500.00 car and drives 50 miles to play a $50.00 gig.
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  #55  
Old 04-29-2017, 10:10 AM
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Genius, folks, genius. Keep 'em comin'.

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  #56  
Old 04-29-2017, 04:49 PM
hesson11 hesson11 is offline
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Q. What do you call someone who likes to hang out with musicians?
A. A drummer.
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  #57  
Old 04-29-2017, 09:42 PM
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a savings bond?
Eventually, a savings bond will mature and earn money.

What's the first thing a guitarist says when he knocks on your door?
Pizza!

What do you call a successful guitarist?
A guy whose wife has two jobs.

What's the difference between a lead guitarist and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist.

How long does it take to tune a 12-string guitar?
Nobody knows.
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  #58  
Old 04-29-2017, 11:36 PM
John Bartus John Bartus is offline
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Why do bagpipers wallk around when they play?
To get away from all the freaking noise!


When Stevie Ray Vaughn's helicopter went down, the world lost a gifted artist. But on the other side of that life-and-death instant, Stevie Ray woke up and found himself on a huge stage set up for literally dozens of musicians. His trusty Strat was on a stand next to his favorite amp. Poor Stevie was confused... But even more so when Jimi Hendrix came out of the wings and plugged his Strat into his Marshall stack. Stevie walks up to Hendrix and says, "Jimi, is that really you?"

Jimi replies in the affirmative, and says, "Man, we've been watching you from this side. You done good." About that time, nearly every musician and singer who was dead to that point started walking out on stage, grabbing their instruments, and tuning up. Pigpen, Janis, John Lennon, Jim Morrison, and many more began preparing for what was shaping up to be a huge concert.

Stevie Ray says, "I must have died and gone to rock and roll Heaven!"

Jimi replied, "Don't be so quick to judge..."

At that moment, Karen Carpenter climbs the drum riser, starts tapping out a rhythm on her drumsticks, and says, "Alright, boys -- 'Close To You!' One... Two...."
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  #59  
Old 04-30-2017, 07:22 AM
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Musicians during a sound check:
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  #60  
Old 04-30-2017, 12:04 PM
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[QUOTE]What is the difference between a guitarist and a savings bond?
Eventually, a savings bond will mature and earn money.[QUOTE]

That one reminds me of this one:

Q: What's the difference between Los Angeles and a bowl of yogurt?
A: The yogurt has a living culture.

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