Overcoming partial stage fright

[phcorrigan]

Originally Posted by Rosewood99

Guys, I’m not talking about playing in front of an audience as in people I don’t know. I can’t seem to play properly when it’s just two or three friends. For that matter, if it’s one good friend I seem to mess up. I noticed the same thing happens when I try to record myself playing.

You're going to keep messing up until you don't, and then you still will. The only way to get over it is to keep doing it. Nobody cares if they enjoy what you're doing.

[Glennwillow]

Originally Posted by Rosewood99

Guys, I’m not talking about playing in front of an audience as in people I don’t know. I can’t seem to play properly when it’s just two or three friends. For that matter, if it’s one good friend I seem to mess up. I noticed the same thing happens when I try to record myself playing.

Sounds like you simply need more wood shedding until you really have your songs down. At least that's what I have to do.

- Glenn

[Rosewood99]

Originally Posted by Glennwillow

Sounds like you simply need more wood shedding until you really have your songs down. At least that's what I have to do.

- Glenn

Not sure what that means. I can play the songs perfectly when I’m by myself.

[catdaddy]

This is article contains the best advice I've ever found for prepping for a performance. It's focused on open mics, but is applicable for any performance situation. It's especially helpful with regards to having the proper mindset when going into a performance.

http://www.acousticfingerstyle.com/openmics.htm

[musicman1951]

Originally Posted by Rosewood99

Guys, I’m not talking about playing in front of an audience as in people I don’t know. I can’t seem to play properly when it’s just two or three friends. For that matter, if it’s one good friend I seem to mess up. I noticed the same thing happens when I try to record myself playing.

While none of us can peer into your head, this could be a reasonable one to fix. Most people become more comfortable with repeated performances in what they deem a pressure situation. You could probably explain to a good friend that you'd like to play them a song or two every time you get together to see if that eases the problem.

Recording is often the worst because we want to be perfect, and mistakes live forever on a recording (or until erased). This is certainly the easiest place to test the repetition theory. You could record a song or two every day and see if it doesn't get a bit easier as the weeks go by.

Nobody is good at everything. You may find that certain situations never become totally comfortable. But I would not come to that conclusion quickly. Certainly you want to try something different. The old adage that if you do what you did, you'll get what you got is still around for a reason. Experiment a bit, and try to do it with the least emotion you can muster. Easier said than done.

[SongwriterFan]

Originally Posted by Rosewood99

Not sure what that means. I can play the songs perfectly when I’m by myself.

I think I might know what the problem is, since I've had (still have to some degree) that same issue.

First, here's a good way to see if it might be the problem: try to record yourself (video is better, but audio only might work, too). Do you now find yourself having the same nervousness (or even screwing up) like you do in front of others?

If so, you're probably just THINKING too much about it. You're suddenly worried (even if just subconsciously) about screwing up . . and that's what's making you nervous and/or messing up.

You literally have to (somehow) pretend that you're just playing for yourself and not thinking about anything else that you wouldn't be thinking of when playing for yourself.

That's one reason I try to practice at home using a mic and PA, too. I need to get to the point where I'm not having to think so much about "working the mic" when performing.

[Mr. Jelly]

There are at least three types of mistakes that I see at open mics.

1. Forgotten words and the person keeps playing guitar until they get back on track again. Or stops.

2. A screw up and the performer just plain made it part of the show and owned it saying that's right I screwed up just hang with here with me and I'll try to make another one again. LOL. Only bigger.

3. The bluff where the performer rolled with it and kept going as if nothing went wrong. Smile in denial.

Since we all make mistakes you have some options as to how you are going to present yours. I always suggest that a new performer take at least a day and practice mistakes. By doing this you have given it some thought and are better prepared to deal with the situation. You are being proactive.

[CASD57]

I forgot.... If you want to practice playing in front of others Join AGF's Mini-Concert we have every other week...The next one is next weekend, We use Zoom and no pressure. It's fun you get to try out new stuff and listen to others you meet here.
Check out my Signature for the links

[geewhiz]

If you have partial stage fright you might consider avoiding partial stages. Play only on big, full stages.

Okay, that was really bad. Sometimes I can't help myself though

A musician I used to work with once said "Never overestimate your audience". And while that may sound almost condescending, he's right. 99% of listeners won't notice mistakes. The 1% that do are probably musicians, and the majority of them will understand because they've been there.

Sadly, the average listener, the 99%, focuses mostly on appearance, singing, and the portrayal of confidence. If you're even a marginally good singer and you can manage to act like you are having the time of your life in front of an audience, people will connect. I've seen several local examples of this. There's a local guy who is a marginal player but he builds acoustic loops and noodles endlessly over them while closing his eyes and making appropriate faces. People think he's great, and he's really pretty mediocre. There's another guy who used to be in my circles who was an electric shredder - very fast and loud but lacking all nuance and taste. But he'd get up in front of the band and flip his hair about while doing his guitar hero thing and everyone thought, "He's awesome man!".

I'm not saying you have to make guitar faces or play too loudly and tastelessly, but if you can find just a bit of swagger it can sell an audience. People WANT to be entertained and they're rooting for you.

Lastly - you're probably a lot better than you think you are!

[jklotz]

A bit of practical advice; avoid caffeine before performance. I used to be a coffee and diet coke junkie on gig days until I realized it was making me jittery. If the nerves were a little uppity before I played, the caffeine would make it worse.

[roylor4]

Originally Posted by Rosewood99

You’re taking the word very literally. I consider messing up just as much stage fright as being frightened or scared. And sorry, I’m not playing on stage either. So I guess it isn’t stage fright. So if you wanna call it something else I’m glad to rephrase my question.

Okay, so in this light, I have a couple of comments. It is quite possible that when you are playing for your friends that all of your senses have shifted a bit. Everything that you may not have noticed when you're all alone and just wrapped up in playing may be popping up and being over amplified. Pure enjoyment has now become about perfect execution. This does exist, but the moments are usually brief and fleeting for us mere mortals - unless you are a virtuoso of some kind. You're expectations have probably shifted more than your actual performance has. Your self-perceived performance is far worse than the actual reality. This is speculative, but I think most people that have performed for someone else has experienced this.

Small things that you may not even notice, like an accidentally muted string or two has changed from a minor thing that barely impacts the quality of your performance to a glaring error that was obvious to you, and probably obvious to your friends/family - when in fact, they didn't hear it because they weren't looking for it - but you were.

[Silly Moustache]

https://youtu.be/K-jgNRNT6Fo

[CASD57]

I can't drink and sing/play.....I seem to get partially tone deaf LOL

[Tnfiddler]

I would NEVER suggest someone get impaired as a remedy for stage fright! Too many negatives can come from that!

[Glennwillow]

Originally Posted by Rosewood99

Not sure what that means. I can play the songs perfectly when I’m by myself.

I can only compare your experience with my own.

When I haven't practiced enough, I can't play a song reliably well in front of others or a running recorder. When I practice more so that I literally can't mess up, I do way better. It's that simple, at least for me.

The best way for me to prepare for a performance is lots of practice including live recording of my practice so I can go back and hear myself.

Again, as others have noted, I can't see inside your head, but I can see inside mine. I know what works and what doesn't work for me after all these years.

- Glenn