Am I Enjoying This?

[Jim Comeaux]

That is a question that I must keep asking myself, am I enjoying this? I ask it because 20+ years ago I came to a point where I was NOT enjoying playing music. I had worked hard and practiced diligently and had managed to make work out of a pleasant pastime. Yes, I had some some success at it, but it came at a very high price. I had burned myself out. I am making every effort to not do that again, and it involves limiting my expectations, especially my expectations on my progress and learning rate. It also involves being realistic about what I can and cannot do, to be patient and work up to a lick or a song methodically and thoughtfully. Yeah, it sounds easy until you try to apply it to yourself. What do you do when you get frustrated or impatient? Do you work harder or do you stand back, analyze the problem and work out a solution that doesn’t make your blood pressure spike?

[Bob from Brooklyn]

I tend to be working on a few things at any particular time. Some come and go quickly while others have their rough spots that are not easy to iron out. I will push somewhat but when it gets to the point of being aggravating I will walk away from it and turn to one of the others. Eventually the tough ones seem to come around.

[leew3]

Excellent thread that I expect will receive lots of interest. More years than you note, I was in a similar place. Playing out 3-4 nights a week or more for several years. Add to what you note about burn out the development of the 'lifestyle' issues of dependence on alcohol and other drugs. By God's grace I became clean and sober and didn't play guitar or any music to speak of for about 20 years.

A bit over 10 years ago I came back to playing and very gradually playing out in contexts that felt safe to my sobriety and sanity. I'm happy to say that this has continued and now play out as much as I care to as part of a fun duo with Rokdog. I am enjoying the process of continuing to learn new songs and skills. At this point music remains therapeutic to me and so does not have to be a significant source of income.

In answer to your specific questions-I am very gracious with myself and easily 'step back' from any endeavor that isn't enjoyable.

[DevilsFan]

Never played for money, but I've burned out a few times in my life. One problem is that I rarely took any satisfaction from learning a piece of music. By the time I was able to play it successfully, I was sick of it and was just looking forward to the next song to learn. Repeat ad nauseum...

There's a quote attributed to Jimmy Connors that resonates with me: "I hate to lose more than I love to win." For much of my life I failed to appreciate accomplishments that I had worked hard to achieve. I always convinced myself that if I could just learn to play that next song, I'd be satisfied. But that rarely happened.

Now that I'm a bit older, I take time to concentrate on my progress and appreciate the progress I'm making, regardless of how slow it may be. I don't have to earn a living from playing, so there's no pressure other than what I put on myself. I'm also learning to play piano, so whenever I tire of playing guitar, I just switch instruments. The itch comes back in a day or two.

[sloar]

I’ve been playing for 3 years now and totally enjoy playing. I don’t have any great expectations and I never get frustrated. I just simply play songs I’ve already learned as I slowly learn a new one. I have zero goals and could care less if I ever become a good player. I play for myself only and I’m good with it as long as I’m happy. It’s complete therapy for me.

[Glennwillow]

When I am learning something new and difficult and I am feeling that frustrating feeling building up in my stomach, I probably keep going longer than I should. If the frustration gets to be too much, then I stop and take a break and come back later. I seem to have a great deal of tolerance for frustrating stuff compared to most people I've encountered.

When I take a break, I don't give up, I go back later or at least the next day. But I know that learning is about building layers in our brains. I have to lay a foundation first, then build on that. Unless a person already has a foundation -- and in many aspects of playing I do -- one can't learn difficult things all at once.

Often I will put in a bunch of work in one day but not get to where I need to arrive, but the next day I can. Often I have to quit because my fingers can't take the abuse anymore.

During the process of sleep our brains work on this stuff. I'm used to counting on my brain to do a lot of the work for me over time. Anything difficult takes time.

- Glenn

[bufflehead]

I put a few years into learning fingerstyle, and although I had a number of songs that sounded good, I never got to the point where I was enjoying it. And then, I get into a jam with some old friends, doing some older music, and had a ball. I realized at that point that what I was really enjoying was that evening was singing, which is something I hadn't been doing during my fingerstyle sojourn, which had been completely instrumental.

Funny thing: my fingerstyle work was impressive to other guitarists, but not as much to a general audience, who seemed to enjoy the energy more of my singing/strumming. More to the point, what I really enjoy is a good jam; I'll take jamming over gigging any day. But the fingerstyle pieces I'd developed were all solo--not the sort of stuff others could accompany. So I pretty much walked away from fingerstyle, and I haven't looked back. Better to be having fun than to be impressing other guitarists.

Please don't get that last sentence wrong. I'm not dissing fingerstyle, and I'm all the more impressed with those who do it well as a result of the years I put into it. But for me, the fun factor just wasn't in continuing down that road.

[Bluenose]

Originally Posted by sloar

I’ve been playing for 3 years now and totally enjoy playing. I don’t have any great expectations and I never get frustrated. I just simply play songs I’ve already learned as I slowly learn a new one. I have zero goals and could care less if I ever become a good player. I play for myself only and I’m good with it as long as I’m happy. It’s complete therapy for me.

I think therapy describes why I play as well. I've become fairly proficient over the many years I've played but I've also come to accept that I don't have any special musical talent or abilities. To me the guitar is a good friend that helps me get through the day and gives me pleasure in the physical act of making music. If someone else likes hearing what I'm doing then that's a bonus but I really play for own selfish reasons which are I just love the sound of an acoustic guitar and I've always enjoyed listening to music.

[blindboyjimi]

Originally Posted by sloar

I’ve been playing for 3 years now and totally enjoy playing. I don’t have any great expectations and I never get frustrated. I just simply play songs I’ve already learned as I slowly learn a new one. I have zero goals and could care less if I ever become a good player. I play for myself only and I’m good with it as long as I’m happy. It’s complete therapy for me.

I could’ve written this exactly. I’ve got a lot more than 3 years, but I’m retired and took up playing later in life. I do it for fun and relaxation. I play a few hours daily so one would think I’d be great and I’m ok. I can play solidly through most of my 30 odd Stefan Grossman DVDs. If something is too difficult, I just go on to the next song. Finger picking had a very steep learning curve but now I can learn a new song in a few days rather than a few months and that’s solid progress. I use an audio and video slow down programs so I can loop one or two measures and play it at 50% speed and it’s pitch corrected. I consider the song “done” when I can play it at 80% speed and start the next song. I also dabble in slack key, fingerstyle and classical. I love collecting guitars and playing a different one each day. It’s a pure hobby and I’m a pure amateur but I get a little better every day and I find the day just flies by when I’m playing.

If it’s not fun, stop.

Try something different, or a different style, or take a few lessons with a teacher or just on YouTube or just take a break.

[Dru Edwards]

Jim, I wonder if you need to stop practicing and start playing. There is a difference. It can be fun and relaxing (it sounds like practicing isn't fun and relaxing for you).

[darylcrisp]

sometimes its good to take a break and learn a new instrument. maybe mandolin, lap steel, nylon(flamenco or classical), lap dulcimer, banjo(clawhammer, 3 finger, 2 finger), weissenborn..............

then at some point you'll pick up the other instrument and you may be surprised how easy things seem to work thru your fingers. helps your ear training as well.

keeps things interesting and fun. and not surprising, the totally different instrument/s can bring something new to your guitar desire-learning another instrument doesn't detract, it only adds to the journey.

big thing is have no expectations. just go in and take your time learning basic skills and have fun with those. over time you'll have more things in your crayon box and you'll enjoy the time spent with it.

i would also suggest taking a class. there's an amazing group of teachers online these days. you may have reached a wall on your own, the teachers will bring out some new avenues to walk down. i've recently taken some beginner online classes with some of the teachers i'm going to list and i'm amazed with the improved skills and desire i have because they brought out some basic things that increased my playing more than anything i've done in the last 10 yrs.
stuart ryan, teaches fingerstyle and blues and other styles. here's one class:
https://www.udemy.com/course/fingers...rstyle-guitar/
https://www.stuartryanmusic.com/guitar-lessons/

paul davids
https://pauldavidsguitar.com/guitarcourses/
https://learnpracticeplay.com/next-level-signup/

and of course there is PegHeadNation and Artistworks.

good luck and keep it fun
d

[sloar]

I started private lessons for awhile. Although I was learning a lot, I quickly realized I wasn’t having fun anymore. I concentrated on my lessons and stopped just playing. I quit the lessons and started enjoying again.

[Jim Comeaux]

Originally Posted by Dru Edwards

Jim, I wonder if you need to stop practicing and start playing. There is a difference. It can be fun and relaxing (it sounds like practicing isn't fun and relaxing for you).

I would love to do that, Dru. Just how do I go about doing that. Firstly, I play strictly for my own enjoyment and I will “play” a tune when I learn how to play one correctly. Secondly, my chosen genre is bluegrass, and the problems with bluegrass are that it is predominantly singing music, breakdowns or fiddle tunes. I DO NOT SING! And, because of the repetitive nature of fiddle tunes (the traditional AA BB format) bluegrass bands generally spread the loads out among the musicians by playing alternate breaks. Now where, during this pandemic am I going to find three or four aspiring bluegrassers to join me for a jam? Thirdly, the nature of the music is at once simple and complex. It has been described as three chords played really fast, but that belies the complex harmonies and some clever and beautiful orchestrations, not to mention the insane speeds that some of this is played at. It just takes a long time to be able to play anything at all. I knew that going in. I spent much of my youth in the bluegrass world and I understand that part. It’s the nature of bluegrass music.

[raysachs]

Originally Posted by bufflehead

I put a few years into learning fingerstyle, and although I had a number of songs that sounded good, I never got to the point where I was enjoying it. And then, I get into a jam with some old friends, doing some older music, and had a ball. I realized at that point that what I was really enjoying was that evening was singing, which is something I hadn't been doing during my fingerstyle sojourn, which had been completely instrumental.

Funny thing: my fingerstyle work was impressive to other guitarists, but not as much to a general audience, who seemed to enjoy the energy more of my singing/strumming. More to the point, what I really enjoy is a good jam; I'll take jamming over gigging any day. But the fingerstyle pieces I'd developed were all solo--not the sort of stuff others could accompany. So I pretty much walked away from fingerstyle, and I haven't looked back. Better to be having fun than to be impressing other guitarists.

Please don't get that last sentence wrong. I'm not dissing fingerstyle, and I'm all the more impressed with those who do it well as a result of the years I put into it. But for me, the fun factor just wasn't in continuing down that road.

I’m wondering if I’m approaching a similar point with fingerstyle. I’m about 2 1/2 years in after never having the patience for it before. I’ve gotten semi competent at several blues pieces and I’m pleased that I’m able to do it. But I can’t say I enjoy the actual doing of it. It’s a lot of work to learn each piece - kind of rote muscle memory. And I have to play each of them pretty frequently to stay at all sharp. I can add a bit of interpretation to them, but it really doesn’t feel like a fun, creative process. When I’m strumming and singing, maybe building a recording with a couple vocal tracks and add some lead guitar (acoustic or electric, depending on context), THAT is me being creative, it flows, it’s a blast. I get an endorphin buzz from it. I love it.

I don’t see having the patience to work hard enough at fingerpicking to get to a point where I can improvise at it, and improvisation and just finding a rhythm that works for a song, coming up with lead lines, or just playing a rhythm into my looper and jamming to it for a while - those things are just pure fun. Fingerpicking feels like too much work for too little return in the FUN department. It’s sort of satisfying, but not really all that enjoyable to me.

I hate to just drop it after building up to this point, but I might. Because I’m not into this for achievement or to impress anyone - I play to enjoy myself. I’m not sure fingerstyle has enough of a payback for me in that regard. Interesting to see your similar experience...

-Ray

[archerscreek]

I plow through. I can’t count the number of times I’ve taken huge jumps right after struggling through a frustrating day of practice. It’s happened so many times I’m starting to suspect there’s some condition where the brain temporarily reverts to a prior state of competence before advancing to the next level up.