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  #16  
Old 08-27-2018, 05:10 AM
frankhond frankhond is offline
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I took a weekend course led by a psychologist ex flight attendant and an ex fighter pilot who later flew commercial jets for 15 years. We visited the service areas, the tower with the flight operators and radar screens. We got to fly an MD80 in a real flight simulator. Finally we all flew on a short round trip.

Obviously such a course won’t cure you, but it gave me tools to handle flying. I was an artist back then, flying between exhibitions. Not flying wasn’t an option unless I changed careers.

First of all, flying is not totally safe. People do die as a result of stepping on an airplane. However, as has been pointed out already, being one of them is extremely unlikely, for *commercial* flights operated by the major companies.

A rational approach is to make a risk assessment, like the one you make when stepping outside your home, stepping in a car, elevator, bus etc. What is the risk of stepping into an airplane in comparison. If your conclusion is that the risk is unacceptable, don’t. But most likely you will find that flying is a very safe activity. Then the job becomes to confront the fear.

The first thing is relaxation. Find tools to relax when thinking about flying, on the way to the airport, at the airport, getting on the plane, during the flight, getting off and traveling from the airport. Rather than valium, try established stress reduction techniques, breathing, guided relaxation etc. Choose comfortable transportation to the airport and be early. Airports are very stressful environments, find ways to be comfortable and unhurried. On the plane, focus on relaxation techniques no matter what goes on. Try looking out the windows and contemplate the powerful view of the clouds from above. Educate yourself about the different phases of a flight and the noises associated with it.

In my personal case, I was stressed by two things, turbulence and all the different noises.

When flying the simulator I asked them to turn up the turbulence. It turned out that the thing simply shakes, but goes forward where it’s supposed to go just the same. I could even land the big airplane myself at full turbulence, with some help from a professional copilot.

The noises arise from normal phenomena and once I figured that out, the two main stress factors went away.

In your case, I also suggest to stop watching exploitative stuff about crashes. An aircrash is obviously a traumatic event but so is a car crash, mass shooting, cancer diagnosis, flood, forest fires etc. Focusing on the good parts of life rather than the spectacularly bad is more productive. Besides, suppose you watch the horrific recent forest fire footage. Will you be afraid of walking in forests?
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Last edited by frankhond; 08-27-2018 at 05:16 AM.
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  #17  
Old 08-27-2018, 06:46 AM
jdmulli jdmulli is offline
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I flew for the first time in my late 20's. To say that I was nervous would be an understatement, but the flight was for my job and I didn't have a choice.

I slept poorly for weeks leading up to my departure.

I've been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and had a prescription for diazepam, which I took about an hour before boarding.

Long story short -- I got to sit beside the window. The takeoff was amazing. The whole experience was enjoyable (once we were in the plane, TSA was another story entirely).

I decided to try the return flight medicine free, and it was equally as enjoyable.

I've taken countless flights now, and the worst thing that ever happened is me having to sit between two overweight people.

You'll be okay.
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  #18  
Old 08-27-2018, 06:47 AM
89bruin 89bruin is offline
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Fear can be a powerful barrier but is certainly nothing to be ashamed about. Your best bet is probably finding a reputable practice with experience treating phobias. That said, I spent twenty years as a military aviator but I’ll do almost anything to avoid flying commercal air. I just cant stand paying good money to be treated like chattel.
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  #19  
Old 08-27-2018, 07:09 AM
Tnfiddler Tnfiddler is offline
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In 1992, while riding on a C2 and preparing to land on an aircraft carrier in the Mediterranean sea, we were waved off at the last second due to a dirty deck. We banked hard left and you could feel the plane drop super quick towards the water. When we circled back around and finally landed, the flight crewman who was onboard in the back said, "Man, that was a close one!!!!" After that, I was terrified of flying for the longest time and unfortunately, being stationed in Spain in direct support of carrier battle groups for another year, I had to fly several more times while there and then back across the pond to get home. For the longest time, I was a serious white knuckle flyer. In '03, I had to fly to Kuwait for Operation Iraqi Freedom and we flew on a Delta 767. My buddy and I were the only two enlisted to sneak seats in first class and they let several of us go into the cockpit and ride. I sat in a jumpseat looking out the front windows as we landed in Rome and every since then, for some reason, It doesn't bother me at all to fly. My wife and I flew a total of 16 flights back and forth to Kyiv, Ukraine during our adoption process and I really enjoyed every flight. I think it's just a psychological issue that you're going to have to overcome in your own way. I really hope you can, because I remember exactly how it feels to be scared to fly and have to. It's not cool!
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  #20  
Old 08-27-2018, 08:03 AM
DCCougar DCCougar is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RussL30 View Post
I see a ton of people post about flying with guitars so I figured this would be a good place to discuss this. This is my biggest fear in the world....
I do not like heights. There is a steady stream of people who hike/climb over to Angel's Landing. Are you freaking kidding me? I'll watch from over here.



Somehow flying is sort of different. I don't really like it, but you've just got to put your life totally in the hands of the pilot. Taking off is pretty scary, but then the views are spectacular.

I was on a flight once when the pilot announced "We're going to have to shut down one of the engines." What??? There were only two! OK, that was pretty darn scary. Had to divert from Burbank to LAX. Flew out over the ocean and tipped the plane to dump a bunch of fuel. Coming in, the runway was lined with fire trucks. But the plane flew and landed like no big deal. These pilots are pretty darn good!
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  #21  
Old 08-27-2018, 08:44 AM
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RussL -

I am also a nervous flyer - I probably grew up watching too many Twilight Zone dramas and watching shows as you have.

My turnaround (still not a 100% comfy) came with two events:
1) We were flying to Florida at the same time one of the shuttle missions was taking off (and I hoped to see it). I thought, "Wow, I'd love to be on that shuttle!" Then I realized that the shuttle had a 1 in 25 chance of exploding to smithereens, while the 737 I was on had been flown for years without a major issue.
2) We were flying to California with the family (the kids were young), and my wife was very clear with my 5 year old daughter, "Daddy will make sure that nothing happens on this plane flight. He's very brave." I shot her a dirty glance, but to no avail... so I had to be brave

I think hypnosis would be a very good idea. That and some mild anti-anxiety drug like Ativan. I believe that some therapists are also using virtual reality therapy with success.

Obviously, flying is a lot faster than a train or a boat and has become a necessity. You are at a far greater risk of getting killed on the highway while on the way to the airport (And just try explaining that to your gut).

Good luck with this!
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  #22  
Old 08-27-2018, 08:57 AM
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Dirk Hofman Dirk Hofman is offline
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I’ve had similar experiences, and was able to overcome them with a combination of cognitive behavioral therapy and a handy dose of Ativan. Took some time but no problems now. Happy to chat about it if you’re interested, it might be a first step. Please PM me if you’re interested but no problem either way. Happy to help.

I wish you the best. You can overcome this.
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  #23  
Old 08-27-2018, 01:04 PM
Martz911 Martz911 is offline
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Quote:
I do not like heights. There is a steady stream of people who hike/climb over to Angel's Landing.
It's weird about heights. I've hiked out to Angel's Landing in Zion NP twice, and it didn't bother me at all. Loved the views and didn't mind the chain holds on the narrow rock trail out to the "Landing". But I don't like stepping down from my roof onto an extension ladder - - and I'm talking a one-story ranch home. Makes no sense. Maybe it's about balance (or the lack of it) as I'm over 60 now.
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  #24  
Old 08-27-2018, 02:37 PM
buddyhu buddyhu is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DCCougar View Post
I do not like heights. There is a steady stream of people who hike/climb over to Angel's Landing. Are you freaking kidding me? I'll watch from over here.

Yes...I did that hike. For me, it was exhilarating!! But it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. Nor is flying. But it is clear that some people find it worthwhile to deal with the fear of flying in order to meet certain job requirements or satisfy certain relationship expectations. Or even just to do some things that are personally important.
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  #25  
Old 08-27-2018, 05:00 PM
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Pura Vida Pura Vida is offline
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Hi, Russ.

I had a fear of flying and hadn't gotten into a plane for over 20 years. I was a road warrior living on the east coast, driving everywhere from Eastern Canada and New England down to the FL Keys and entire Gulf Coast. 15 years ago, we decided to move west, and we made the cross-country drive (4 humans, 3 cats, and two cars) to Northern CA. BTW, I also did Amtrak cross-country six times (three times each way), and once was more than enough.

10 years ago, I made the decision to face my fear head-on and told my wife to pick any place on the planet and buy two plane tickets.... with the caveat of picking someplace nice b/c if I didn't have a good flight experience, I was either taking a boat / train back or else I was staying there (kidding, but not really). She picked Maui... went to the doctor, got a script for some Ativan, and hand-in-drugged-up-hand, we had a great flight.

Since then, I've traveled around the planet. I've done short flights within the state, various other domestic flights, and international flights to Ireland, Singapore, Thailand, Tahiti, Panama, Mexico, and Costa Rica. In fact, CR has become our "home away from home," which wouldn't have been possible, if I hadn't flown. I feel incredibly fortunate to have gotten over my fears and see the world.

I still took the Ativan as a precaution from 2009 through 2012, but I haven't taken anything in the last six years. I trust the major airlines know what they're doing and most flights are incredibly smooth. The feeling at take-off still bothers me, so I just fixate myself onto my iPad and read, watch a movie, play a game, or listen to music. By the time we hit 10,000ft, everything levels off, including my demeanor.

Go for the flight, but if you need something to take the edge off, that's ok. Maybe it will open up the world for you, as it did for me and others. Good luck to you!
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  #26  
Old 08-27-2018, 06:01 PM
rmyAddison rmyAddison is offline
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First, the statistics are NOT skewed, respectfully that supports the fear.

I have over a million miles flying, what bothered me was the airports, delays, parking, check-in, etc., but driving on a crowded highway is far more dangerous, and that is not a skewed statistic.

I can't help with the fear, and I know it's very real to a small percentage of the population. I've been in some turbulence, but again I've flown hundreds of times, it's rare, and stopping drink/food service was the only thing that really bothered me.

If you're watching crashes and accidents again your feeding the beast, negativity creates negativity. Not to be harsh but you can give in or conquer, I had coworkers who hated flying but had to for work, and it got easier with time.

A mild sedative or a couple cocktails if you drink may help, bets of luck...
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  #27  
Old 08-27-2018, 07:01 PM
RussL30 RussL30 is offline
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There’s been some great posts here. I don’t know if I need to see a therapist, as heights and flying is my only really big fear. It’s not even dying I’m scared of, but more of dying from a great fall or crash. I did conquer my fear of heights and ride some rides at Disney world last year with my wife. Thanks for all the the elk wishes and advice. It’s great to see the accounts of some people that conquered this fear and got to see the world.
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  #28  
Old 08-27-2018, 07:59 PM
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If it helps to know, each airplane has what is known as a minimum equipment list (MEL) that must be installed and airworthy before a pilot can accept the airplane for flight. Additionally, each airplane is subject to RII inspections (required item inspections) of these MELs and other flight-critical items after each landing and after the final flight of the day. These inspections are all part of an on-going, scheduled inspection regime on each airplane throughout its service life. Additionally, there are times/cycles limited items that must be replaced once their times or cycles are reached. These include complete engines and landing gear, though they are routinely inspected as RII items. Between flights maintenance personnel work inflight write-ups logged by the crew of the previous flight. Non flight-critical item corrections can be deferred to the next scheduled maintenance event and those are the only deferrals allowed. So, mechanically speaking, airplanes are rather forgiving beasts with designed-in redundancy of flight critical items.

Regarding human factors, I can say that training is an on-going US federal mandate for flight and ground crew. The new kid on that block is the PEAR principle addressing the areas of People, Environment, Action and Resources in aircraft operations and maintenance. It boils down to situational awareness when assessing the who, what, why, where, when and how of flying and maintaining airplanes. No one performing safety-sensitive roles gets a kitchen pass from that.

Furthering the safety-sensitive aspect of human factors, anyone performing in that role must pass a drug screening test and then be subject to randomized screenings thereafter. No one is exempt from that in the US. I won't speak to any other national authority's opinion of that so let it suffice to say that the US has been and remains the leader in safety-related aspects of aircraft operations and maintenance. If a person tests positive, he or she is removed from their safety-sensitive positions, must seek professional counseling by a qualified substance abuse professional (SAP) and, if the SAP deems the individual fit for return to duty, must pass a return to duty drug and alcohol misuse screening administered by a qualified medical review officer (MRO) registered with the FAA. If the person tests positive a second time, her or she is barred for life from working in a safety-sensitive role on any US registered transportation vehicles of any type. Uncle Sam doesn't play around.

I've been involved in aircraft maintenance my entire life from the time my Pop bore holes through local air space in his J3 Cub, through military and now civilian roles. In those cognitive years I've seen the safety record for flying exponentially improved by training and technological improvements and advancements, respectively.

Nothing is perfect, never has been and never will be relative to the hands and records of failures of men to achieve it. But, aviation is certainly giving it a run for its money.
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  #29  
Old 08-27-2018, 11:52 PM
flaggerphil flaggerphil is offline
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I'm lucky in that I've never feared flying, even as a child. It probably helps that both my Dad (SBD Dauntless) and his older brother (F4U Corsair) were pilots in WWII who loved to fly.

In the Navy i flew on numerous naval aircrat, including helicopters, both on and off ships and from airfields. When I worked as a civilian i flew a minimum of once a month, usually more often, until I retired in 2011. Since retiring i only fly about three or four times a year.

OTOH, both my Mother and my daughter were/are terrified of flying, though my daughter does it to visit my granddaughter, who lives 3000 miles away.

I just feel I'm fortunate not to have that particular fear.
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  #30  
Old 08-28-2018, 05:09 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RussL30 View Post
... all I’ve done in my free time is worry and stress about this.


My wife says I have an irrational fear...


That, by definition I think, is an issue. You may be obsessing over this. You can't rationalize phobia away - you can't talk yourself out of it. But you might get counseling or pharmaceutical help.
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