Solo or duo? Is the gratification worth the extra work?

[Jeffreykip]

Howdy! I play and sing for the joy of it, not my as my work, so this is entirely based upon personal gratification, that of my audience, and of the locale where I am playing.
Right now, I just perform solo, but I miss playing with someone else. That said, it is soooo easy to perform solo - I am always at practice on time and I get to pick the time and place (my house, when I am free), I arrange the songs to fit my taste and put them in a key that fits my voice, and if I make a mistake I am patient with myself.
However, I do miss the fuller sound of a duo, and the fun of playing with someone else, and I'd love to have someone take the solos and add some depth and color to the music. A good friend and former partner in crime has made music his career, so he'll show up and play along with me now and then and it sounds great, but I'm not at a level that makes it financially worth his while- we just have fun together. I have tried other friends, but our tastes, skills and free time just don't match up.
So, I've just this moment put a "looking for guitarist" ad up, but I am wary. I'm 52, and I am not sure if I will find it gratifying to dabble around with strangers. Plus, I am not really sure I will like playing in a duo once I have to make compromises, or do the hard parts of planning rehearsal etc.
So - is it worth it? Anyone been on some musical blind dates and want to say, "no, just keep playing on your own" or "it's worth it - you'll find someone and be glad"? This reads more like an online dating question than I'd intended it to, but I guess it's sort of like that, with a bit less at stake.
Interested in your experiences,
Kip

[jjbigfly]

It’s a lot like picking a wife. Good ones are a great experience! And a compliment to your life….but it takes some effort.
Personally….I have opted for the solo life as it is soooo much simpler in all respects.
On the other hand …a partner that works well with you is a treasure…..

[Glennwillow]

I think a duo is always better than a solo act, but the problem is how to get there. For me, it has been very hard to find another person who adds enough vocally or instrumentally to make it worthwhile. For years I sang with my wife, just me on the guitar, and the both of us singing. That was wonderful. But she got worn out with all that effort and she cannot be talked into being part of a duo anymore. I have played with my son, which is also wonderful, but he is so busy that this once-in-a-while thing is all it will ever be. If I bump into somebody who is really good, they always seem to be busy.

The solo approach is certainly simpler and has a lot of advantages.

- Glenn

What a timely post!

A few of us here on AGF are trying to organize a little social guitar meet up and playing date in the San Francisco Bay Area, and it feels like herding cats. I've become the de facto organizer, and I am quickly running out of patience with the complete lack of interest we're getting.

I can't imagine how challenging it must be to try to find a professional or even "just for fun and gigging" semi-professional partner or group where actual showing up, commitment, scheduling, rehearsals, etc. would be *required* instead of just dropping by with a guitar for a little strumming, socializing and shooting the s@h@i@t.

I know where you're coming from about "dabbling with strangers," but OTOH, all your friends were once strangers, too. Sometimes you have to just take a chance and a leap of faith.

I don't know why this is so difficult, but it is. It definitely is. It's also an extra challenge when you're a beginner, even an "advanced" beginner. I suspect but have no proof there is a kind of unspoken "snobbery" if that is the right word. More advanced players only want to play with people at their level or better. But today's beginners are tomorrow's superstars.... So keep that in mind. Consider giving a hardworking, committed beginner a chance. You never know what could happen.

Originally Posted by Jeffreykip

Howdy! I play and sing for the joy of it, not my as my work, so this is entirely based upon personal gratification, that of my audience, and of the locale where I am playing.
Right now, I just perform solo, but I miss playing with someone else. That said, it is soooo easy to perform solo - I am always at practice on time and I get to pick the time and place (my house, when I am free), I arrange the songs to fit my taste and put them in a key that fits my voice, and if I make a mistake I am patient with myself.
However, I do miss the fuller sound of a duo, and the fun of playing with someone else, and I'd love to have someone take the solos and add some depth and color to the music. A good friend and former partner in crime has made music his career, so he'll show up and play along with me now and then and it sounds great, but I'm not at a level that makes it financially worth his while- we just have fun together. I have tried other friends, but our tastes, skills and free time just don't match up.
So, I've just this moment put a "looking for guitarist" ad up, but I am wary. I'm 52, and I am not sure if I will find it gratifying to dabble around with strangers. Plus, I am not really sure I will like playing in a duo once I have to make compromises, or do the hard parts of planning rehearsal etc.
So - is it worth it? Anyone been on some musical blind dates and want to say, "no, just keep playing on your own" or "it's worth it - you'll find someone and be glad"? This reads more like an online dating question than I'd intended it to, but I guess it's sort of like that, with a bit less at stake.
Interested in your experiences,
Kip

Online dating is the perfect analogy! Frog kissing, frog kissing, frog kissing and then one day PRINCE!

I'm still kissing frogs, for the most part, when I'm doing any kissing.

[J Patrick]

Having performed as a solo act, in duos, trios and quartets, I find the most satisfaction performing as either a solo act or as a trio….perhaps I’ve never had just the right fit with a duo but once I step out of my solo shoes I’m looking for the ability to build arrangements where the interplay of different musicians and instruments can take the players to unexpected places. Yes I’m sure the same can be done with duos but it’s just never happened very much in my experience. The reason I prefer trios to larger ensembles is the space a player can enjoy…as a guitarist you can stretch out a bit more and pick your spots more easily without stepping on what your partners are playing…..

But solo playing has its own appeal and I’d guess that most of us play at home by ourselves at least seventy-five percent of the time….it’s nice to have total control and freedom….

[Jeffreykip]

Oh, it's so nice to read that I am not being overly selfish to not want to have to compromise or - God forbid - work for my hobby.
Greenwillow I would love to have a family who wants to join me, they are my best fans, but not about to step up to the mic. However if even a wife stops showing up to rehearsals, then maybe not being about to connect with a friend is pretty reasonable.
janinep You're right - it is a pain! I am a teacher and I was trying to get together with a collegue and we still couldn't swing it. Plus, when you find out that you're not musical soulmates, it's a bit of a let down. The snob problem is funny for me because I am definitely a snob - I only want to play with great player because I am not great and I want someone who can quickly and easly step into my setlist! The friend I mentioned who is a pro can do that- just show up, hear the key and get on board. Problem is, he has to make a day-job of it, so food and maybe 50euro does not swing it.

All - I love the responses.

[Silly Moustache]

I tend to agree with the OP.

I have played in a fair few bluegrass bands and the united "power" of a four of five piece is stimulating, maybe like driving a fast car, and the complications of arrangements only added to the challenge, but bluegrass bands don't get a lot of gigs in the UK, and they tend not to last too long.

My best/most satisfying bands were trios with a double bass player, and a sideman playing mandolin and/or dobro.
I/we had a trio called "Panhandle Conspiracy, that got a fair few gigs. Dave the bass sung as well, and Pat played old time mandolin and the most superb Dobro lies that curled my toes.

With Mando Bob and Ian the bass player, (Good Companions) we ran my club and did a fair few gigs, elsewhere but musical skill levels limited us a bit an
it didn't survive the lockdowns.

Bob rings me from time to me, but he prefers "practicing" rather than performing and I'm the opposite.

The club scene where I live (and probably UK wide) has been destroyed by the Covid era, and all we are left with a re "open mics" which I find rather soul destroying.

I'm 75, and playing less and less and starting to wonder what its all about.

Originally Posted by Silly Moustache

I tend to agree with the OP.

I have played in a fair few bluegrass bands and the united "power" of a four of five piece is stimulating, maybe like driving a fast car, and the complications of arrangements only added to the challenge, but bluegrass bands don't get a lot of gigs in the UK, and they tend not to last too long.

My best/most satisfying bands were trios with a double bass player, and a sideman playing mandolin and/or dobro.
I/we had a trio called "Panhandle Conspiracy, that got a fair few gigs. Dave the bass sung as well, and Pat played old time mandolin and the most superb Dobro lies that curled my toes.

With Mando Bob and Ian the bass player, (Good Companions) we ran my club and did a fair few gigs, elsewhere but musical skill levels limited us a bit an
it didn't survive the lockdowns.

Bob rings me from time to me, but he prefers "practicing" rather than performing and I'm the opposite.

The club scene where I live (and probably UK wide) has been destroyed by the Covid era, and all we are left with a re "open mics" which I find rather soul destroying.

I'm 75, and playing less and less and starting to wonder what its all about.

No, Andy! You have to keep playing. I've listened to your videos and you are too good to quit! That would be a tragic waste of many decades of honing your skills and your craft. These are just impossible times for all of us, everywhere, for reasons too numerous to elaborate in this reply. Covid, the impact of social media on our lives, the economy, everything and the kitchen sink, too.

You would think guitarists would be huddled up on the street corners, like day laborers in front of Home Depot, just waiting for each other to play music with. This idea of forever playing guitar on your own at home is the antithesis of what music is all about. If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is there to hear it, does it make a noise?

I'm shocked (and sad) more local AGFers have not shown interest in meeting in person. Maybe it's just me??? I'm too bossy??? Too outspoken? (I cannot deny it.) Or I play like a girl? (Guilty as charged.)

But these are some very perplexing times, and I will be happy to see them in our rear view mirror. Better times ahead, I hope.

Originally Posted by Jeffreykip

Oh, it's so nice to read that I am not being overly selfish to not want to have to compromise or - God forbid - work for my hobby.
Greenwillow I would love to have a family who wants to join me, they are my best fans, but not about to step up to the mic. However if even a wife stops showing up to rehearsals, then maybe not being about to connect with a friend is pretty reasonable.
janinep You're right - it is a pain! I am a teacher and I was trying to get together with a collegue and we still couldn't swing it. Plus, when you find out that you're not musical soulmates, it's a bit of a let down. The snob problem is funny for me because I am definitely a snob - I only want to play with great player because I am not great and I want someone who can quickly and easly step into my setlist! The friend I mentioned who is a pro can do that- just show up, hear the key and get on board. Problem is, he has to make a day-job of it, so food and maybe 50euro does not swing it.

All - I love the responses.

Unfortunately, stuff doesn't work like that. If everyone only wants to play with someone who's better, than no one will ever get together. How about meeting each other wherever we are and then both people get better in the process? Just for something different.

[H165]

Make yourself some backing tracks, and use them at your gigs.

[Jeffreykip]

Originally Posted by janinep7

Unfortunately, stuff doesn't work like that. If everyone only wants to play with someone who's better, than no one will ever get together. How about meeting each other wherever we are and then both people get better in the process? Just for something different.

I totally agree. I was just having a bit of fun vamping off of the previous comment and poking fun at myself for being the lesser talented member of even a hypothetical duo. .No snobbery intended. San Fran is a bit far from me or I would join in, but I’m definitely happy to hootenanny here in Rome if you are ever in town!

SillyM. I’m sorry for the local guitar droughts- COVID actually did wonders for the music scene near me because all the restaurants had to move tables outside and they just never moved back in. As far as age goes: I think we all wonder what it’s all about at every age- hope the guitar will be an answer to that!!! I agree with Janiep - I hope you'll persevere!

[Stratcat77]

I did the solo thing for a few years and loved all of the reasons stated. But when I got the opportunity to do a duo with my current partner it was worth the challenges. He’s an amazing vocalist and is good with percussion parts. We don’t always agree on song choices, but I’d say 90% of the time we do. Truth be told, we have pushed each other outside of our comfort zone. He’s 8 years younger and likes some things I never would have chosen and I’m sure the same is true for him with some of my choices. But we get along and it really is a case of 1 + 1 = 3. There’s a chemistry. I know I’m lucky. It’s not always this way!

[Jeffreykip]

Originally Posted by Stratcat77

I did the solo thing for a few years and loved all of the reasons stated. But when I got the opportunity to do a duo with my current partner it was worth the challenges. He’s an amazing vocalist and is good with percussion parts. We don’t always agree on song choices, but I’d say 90% of the time we do. Truth be told, we have pushed each other outside of our comfort zone. He’s 8 years younger and likes some things I never would have chosen and I’m sure the same is true for him with some of my choices. But we get along and it really is a case of 1 + 1 = 3. There’s a chemistry. I know I’m lucky. It’s not always this way!

Very cool. How did you find each other? Any one moment that was essential to knowing it would work out?

[Railroad Bum]

My favorite gigs were solo acoustic shows. I never made much money from it, but it was the most musically rewarding for me. I was also in some 4- and 5-piece bands, and those could be fun. It's really more about meeting the right players and syncing with them, and that's hard to do. I gave up on performing in public long ago, but it is good to be able to pull off a set by yourself. And that's how I play and practice.

It's definitely worth trying to find somebody for a duo. You never know who you might run across.