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  #31  
Old 01-07-2020, 10:50 AM
Mandobart Mandobart is offline
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No. I have never felt like destroying a musical instrument, or blaming it for my own inadequacy. Getting frustrated is normal. Getting violent is NOT.
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  #32  
Old 01-07-2020, 12:02 PM
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SprintBob SprintBob is offline
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You need to reflect wisely if you have the urge to smash something (and hopefully not somebody) because you are not meeting an expectation that you have chosen to make for yourself.

JonPR has the best advice and insight in this thread.
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  #33  
Old 01-07-2020, 12:23 PM
DesertTwang DesertTwang is offline
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I have never felt like smashing a guitar, mostly because why should I punish my guitar for a shortcoming on my part?

It sounds to me like you are experiencing real frustrations that are having a bad effect on your relationship with your guitar and your playing in general.

When I get really frustrated with myself, which happens a lot, I take a step back, I try to relax, let go and that usually results in more persistence, but also more kindness and patience with myself.

If a lot of this sounds like pep talk from a yoga class, it's probably because it is.

But I have found by taking both guitar and yoga lessons for several years, that self-love and patience really ARE the keys to making progress.

Whenever I feel that I'm trying to force something rather than "allowing" it to happen, I stop right there and check in with myself. Bryan Sutton is very adamant about this whole concept of allowing things to happen rather than trying to force them to.

My experience has taught me over and over again that this approach really works. Being kind to yourself and to whatever process you're involved in pays off, big time.

I, too, get very frustrated when I hit a wrong string after having been practicing for almost ten years! It happens all the time.

Two approaches have really helped to virtually eliminate any frustration from my guitar journey and exchange it for joy:

Being patient and kind to myself; and taking things very, very slowly and keeping track of my progress.

Just a few weeks ago, I started working on a crosspicking exercise from Bryan Sutton's curriculum, which involves chord inversions. In short, shapes I had never even heard of, let alone was able to finger. I thought, "he must be kidding, who is supposed to be able to play these convoluted shapes and hit the right string consistently to produce a clean crosspicking pattern?"

The challenge just seemed too great. My response was to simply start practicing. I wrestled my fingers in place, painfully slowly, and struggled to learn each of the unfamiliar, convoluted chord shapes, one by one, and on top of everything, try to get my right hand into an accurate crosspicking motion, careful to hit each string exactly and correctly in sequence.

I honestly thought I'd never be able to this exercise, let alone at any type of tempo.

But I stuck with it. And stuck with it. And stuck with it. Slowly, and always being kind to myself.

I kept track of my progress, and low and behold, progress came. Much faster than I had hoped. I now can play the exercise at 75 beats per minute, not always super-clean and sometimes I miss the correct string, but hey! Compared to just a few weeks ago, when I thought "No way, ever will I be able to do this!" I'm at the point where I was able to record a video of me doing the exercise, and I'm going to submit that to Bryan today.

All that being said, I think it's important to recognize when/if something is over my head. I remember attempting to play from tab in the past and getting really frustrated because I could not remember which string to fret and to pick at exactly the right point in the sequence, exactly how it was noted in the tablature. So I got very frustrated, and gave up on that particular song or whatever it may have been.

Years later, I revisited it again and noticed that what seemed like unfathomably complicated picking patterns were nothing but arpeggiated chords, except I didn't recognize the chord shapes as such at the time.

In other words, I had attempted to play something that I simply wasn't ready for.

More likely than not, that is the real reason when we get frustrated to the point of wanting to smash the guitar.

It's not the guitar's fault for feeling that way. It's entirely ours. But we are capable of responding in a way that is productive and encouraging, instead of giving in to mindless frustration that gets us nowhere.

I remember a friend a fellow guitar student in a group lesson I was taking a few years ago. He had a tendency to get frustrated very easily, and his response to challenges was the opposite of mine: He completely shut down, cussing at himself and the guitar and saying things like "I should just quit."

In all those years being angry at himself, he made very little, if any progress. I made a ton, more than I had ever wished for, just by virtue of attitude and being smart about goals and what I'm capable of doing, and what I'm not (yet).
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  #34  
Old 01-07-2020, 01:00 PM
grayback grayback is offline
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I would be more inclined to take out any frustration on myself rather than the guitar. Being an older beginner gives me some patience, and I am fortunate to have another set of ears (my teacher) to point out my improvements. He also always tells me "Happy practicing!" after every lesson. I try and keep it happy.
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  #35  
Old 01-07-2020, 03:38 PM
Denny B Denny B is offline
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There's some good advice being given here today, but just for the record, the OP's original question was almost 8 years ago, and he hasn't posted here in almost 6 years...just sayin'...
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  #36  
Old 01-07-2020, 07:36 PM
DesertTwang DesertTwang is offline
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Oh no. I wish I had paid attention. Thank you for pointing that out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Denny B View Post
There's some good advice being given here today, but just for the record, the OP's original question was almost 8 years ago, and he hasn't posted here in almost 6 years...just sayin'...
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"I've always thought of bluegrass players as the Marines of the music world" – (A rock guitar guy I once jammed with)

Martin America 1
Martin 000-15sm
Recording King Dirty 30s RPS-9 TS
Taylor GS Mini
Baton Rouge 12-string guitar
Martin L1XR Little Martin
1933 Epiphone Olympic
1971 square neck Dobro
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  #37  
Old 01-07-2020, 07:47 PM
DesertTwang DesertTwang is offline
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Sirroco, I hope you realize that you owe us a round of beer, for luring is into a zombie thread. At least according to an unwritten but universally accepted law in Germany, where I'm from. [emoji16]
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Originally Posted by sirroco View Post
I honestly believe things come naturally to some and not to others. I personally know two people that started playing in bands 2-3 years after picking up a guitar AND they are good! I most certainly can't afford to wait 20 years (48 now) or more like some have said on here.. I'm wondering if those people actually realised after 5 years of hard toil they were not going to make the heights they aspired to? I am not disparaging anyone from playing the guitar as I love it myself. However no matter how much 'good' practice and lessons over the years I've had, I won't be aggravating other musicians by attempting to jam with them. A good analogy... I have a single figure handicap in golf and do not practice. I didn't have any lessons either.. I would do anything to swap golf for guitar. Rhythm and timing among other things in a golf swing came naturally, similarly with a guitar. One of the guys I mentioned playing in a band after a couple of years wanted me to teach him how to play golf.. Lets just say he is equally good at golf as I am playing a guitar. The fact is you cannot simulate natural feel. A little like teaching a narcissist to feel empathy. I have heard Noel Gallagher say countless times that he is hopeless at everything other than writing songs and playing guitar. I have most certainly had visions of shredding my guitar into match sticks but as rubbish as I am playing it, I love it. You just have to accept sometimes 'It is what it is'
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"I've always thought of bluegrass players as the Marines of the music world" – (A rock guitar guy I once jammed with)

Martin America 1
Martin 000-15sm
Recording King Dirty 30s RPS-9 TS
Taylor GS Mini
Baton Rouge 12-string guitar
Martin L1XR Little Martin
1933 Epiphone Olympic
1971 square neck Dobro
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  #38  
Old 01-09-2020, 12:52 PM
DaveKell DaveKell is offline
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I was watching an old movie recently, the title of which escapes me right now. A character in the movie spoke the line "what one man can do another can do". I immediately thought "yeah, except for me on guitar!". A sure fire way for me to become frustrated is when a great picker shows up at my weekly jam and makes me think my guitar would serve a better function as kindling wood. In my defense, I spent most of my adult life becoming a master signpainter. If I could play guitar like I control a brush I'd have it made. I've been retired from a very rewarding sign career for some time now. I thought this would give me time to become a better guitarist. I'm finding out though my brain doesn't learn as efficiently as it did in younger years. I'm making progress but it appears the window of opportunity closed quite awhile ago.
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