The imposter complex

[Dbone]

I think it comes down to your goals...For me it’s strictly about having a hobby that I enjoy and find relaxing...One that I do not feel accountable about in any way to anyone (not even to myself)...The other secret is not caring about what anyone else thinks, and doing it for yourself only...That would include both the buying and playing side of things...

I should have been an imposter syndrome therapist

[RP]

Originally Posted by Dbone

I think it comes down to your goals...For me it’s strictly about having a hobby that I enjoy and find relaxing...One that I do not feel accountable about in any way to anyone (not even to myself)...The other secret is not caring about what anyone else thinks, and doing it for yourself only...That would include both the buying and playing side of things...

I agree wholeheartedly...

[Photojeep]

A little while ago someone asked me how long I'd been playing guitar.

"50 years", I said.

Then I thought to myself, "Boy, I should be a lot better than I am."

Shortly thereafter someone at church told me how much they love my music.

Brought it full circle for me.

Best,
PJ

PS (I still play every day to get better, and I have no idea if I'll ever get any better but I'm having a lot of fun along the way!)

[islandguitar]

Originally Posted by Photojeep

A little while ago someone asked me how long I'd been playing guitar.

"50 years", I said.

Then I thought to myself, "Boy, I should be a lot better than I am."

Shortly thereafter someone at church told me how much they love my music.

Brought it full circle for me.

Best,
PJ

PS (I still play every day to get better, and I have no idea if I'll ever get any better but I'm having a lot of fun along the way!)

This really resonates with me!! This is a great thread and I"ve enjoyed it a lot.
My guitar journey started just over 50 years ago..........and I can relate to the 'should be much better" comment!. However, I'm so very taken when folks let me know how much my music means to them, that the "full circle" concept for me is quite powerful and adds incentive to stay my course (instead THE course) and continue to do what I can in the best way possible.
Thanks!

[Ludere]

I am absolutely nowhere near good enough for the instruments I own.
Trust me, this is not feigned humility; this is fact.
I am of the camp that feels fine instruments rightfully belong in the hands of those who can do them justice.
(To this point, it has occurred to me more than once to seek out young devoted 'talents' and gift them a better guitar than they can afford ...)
Yes, at this point I can afford the guitars I own without undue duress or letting anything "slip" financially.
I consider myself quite fortunate to be in such a position and I thoroughly enjoy my guitars and this forum, but I do feel like a bit of an imposter for my lack of expertise.
I am one of those who took an extended sabbatical, tended to life, and then came back. To be perfectly honest, I do think I have the raw materials to become respectable in time - what I don't have is enough time left on the orb ...
So I play for myself, enjoy the little bit I can do, and do my best to appreciate each hour I have with this great pastime.

All in all, it's actually pretty cool ...

[WordMan]

I use open mics to directly confront my own imposter feelings. I have to focus on songs I can deliver. And then deliver them. It’s hard and honest.

But, past guitar, last night was...validating? There was a piano-and-singer couple playing 80’s songs nicely. And a three-chord folk strummer who had a young woman friend who wanted to accompany him on bass but didn’t quite follow his chording.

I called out the chords to The Verve’s Bittersweet Symphony - E, Bm7, D, A, cycle endlessly - and got everyone locked in. The bass player could feel what it was like to hold the groove in a group, and the piano player got to occupy a lot of space.

At the end, they all kinda looked at me - “hey, that was cool.” I love doing stuff like that - getting folks to groove together. Whether I can play fancy fast feels so irrelevant to what I want out of music.

[menhir]

Posted in the music department where I went to college:

The woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best.

It works for me.

[whvick]

Originally Posted by menhir

Posted in the music department where I went to college:



The woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best.



It works for me.

Great quote!!!
Thanks

[DukeX]

I keep my guitar life simple. I play what I want on the guitars I want to play. I just do my own thing and don't worry about it.

[jpricewood]

Your post hits close to home. I also had imposter syndrome while I was working on my Ph.D in vertebrate zoology. Heck, I still get it sometimes despite recently earning tenure at 32-years-old. My wife is a respected doctor, and she even gets the occasional feeling of inadequacy.

Regarding guitar, I don't have imposter syndrome because I'm not even good enough to pretend to be a musician. I began playing at 12, but I never progressed past a low-level intermediate player. Within a couple of hours or less, I can learn the rhythm for just about any country or pop song I hear on the radio. I know most of my E- and A-shape barre chords, and I can even work out a few leads if I spend enough time watching YouTube, but when it comes to John Mayer-type leads or Bluegrass, forget about it. I also don't know enough theory to play in a band, primarily because I can't change key on the fly.

I have a couple of friends who are professional guitarists; their skills blow my mind. But I will say this, they always tell me I'm the lucky one because I have a steady job.

[jay7347]

I've felt like an imposter before. When I first started playing at the church I'm playing now the musicians seemed light years beyond me. Every week I thought I would be kindly told that I just wasn't cutting it. Now five years later I'm the main electric lead.

I still feel like an imposter though and have the occasional anxiety attack. I've given it great thought as of late and I think we take ourselves too seriously sometimes. I, for one, am a serious type A perfectionist. I was that way in my first career as a newspaper photographer and it seems that I've carried that attitude to playing guitar. I think what some of us, myself included, do is that we lose sight of the joy we may bring to others with our playing. I would venture to say that that may be more important than our own tally of mistakes we might keep count of up there. My feeling is that music is a gift to the world. It certainly brings more joy than hate. If we focus on that maybe we aren't imposters at all but part of something that makes the world better.

-jay

[Deliberate1]

Originally Posted by menhir

Posted in the music department where I went to college:

The woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best.

It works for me.

But is it not also true that the the birds with the sweetest song get the chicks?
And the rest...

[Tony Burns]

I dont believe in that imposter complex - I could say anyone who loves what they do to a point wonders why any one would pay them to do it becasue their having to much fun - ive heard something like this concerning john Mayer - and a few other musicians -some of them wonder when the ride will be over ( concerning the fun their having and that they make music for a living )
Me- im not a bad guitarist - i could entertain you -how good i am is up to the person who listening

[phcorrigan]

Originally Posted by whvick

When I compare myself to the knowledge and skill of so many of the forum members I am humbled.

There's an old Henny Youngman joke:

Patient: "Doc, it hurts when I do this."
Doc: "Don't do that!"

Don't compare yourself to others. Do what you do.

I am not a great guitar player, and I may not even be an average player. But I play out, mostly open mics but sometimes paid gigs, and people like to hear me sing and play.

The only way I've found to get better is to play more, and it helps a lot if you play in front of people.

[biotechmgr]

Originally Posted by whvick

My son has a PhD from MIT in mechanical engineering with emphasis on biomedical and a minor in business. Yes that is bragging, but it is necessary to get to my point.
He said when he first got there half the students were multi-lingual and the other half just plane ole geniuses. Like many others he thought “when will they discover I am not smart enough to be here?” They called that the “imposter complex”. Fortunately he was smart enough and now works for a biomedical company.
When it comes to guitars I have the imposter complex. I have fun as a bedroom balladeer, and playing and singing for my grandkids, but that is a soft audience. When I compare myself to the knowledge and skill of so many of the forum members I am humbled. I talk about guitars, but my skill set does not justify the ones I have.
I do claim privilege to be on the forum, cause my guitar pick stories are fun. Yet those come from the patients, not me.
So how about it? Are there other guitarist wannabes out there with imposter complex. Speak up. Confession is good for the soul.

Your thesis is based on some assumption we are here to compare and compete. It's not a great basis for what should be for most a pleasurable pursuit and pastime.
The world is filled with people competing, so I suppose it figures that feigning humility, you bring the topic in here in the way you did.