#76
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I got word today from my lawyer that my wife’s lawyer is going for as much money as they can squeeze out of me. She ruined the marriage yet I have to pay until I’m bled dry. I will never marry again.
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Be nice. |
#77
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I've been through divorce twice. It changes you. At this point, you just need to go into self preservation mode and please believe me when I tell you that MUCH better days are ahead. Just get through this phase, one day at a time, one foot in front of the other ... sunny days are comin' brother, I promise ... If you want to reach out via PM, I'd be happy to share any insights and/or support. More than happy to. Take care, Paul
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` “Success is falling down nine times and getting up ten.” |
#78
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What you're experiencing is so hard. I am sorry.
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When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down, “happy.” They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life. —John Lennon Last edited by KarenB; 06-20-2020 at 10:11 AM. |
#79
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thank you
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Be nice. |
#80
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"A guy I know..." (okay, it was me) became fed up with a bad marriage and went to see a divorce attorney for a free consultation.
On her computer, the lawyer plugged in my income and assets, and then what my spouse had to report. She spun the monitor around to show me. Given the disparity in our numbers, I was going to owe my soon-to-be-ex 2.5 years of "spousal support" (half of the 5 years we were legally attached). Darn good thing we didn't have any kids together. Let's talk bottom line. The attorney's calculations for my monthly bloodletting were within $100 of what my alienated spouse's attorney had already figured on his computer (it's a lot like tax tables)! Then my battle-scarred attorney did something noble (and free, if you can imagine). She affixed me with a steely gaze over the top of her reading glasses and said, "Here's the deal. You can't afford for me to represent you in court and WIN." She continued. "So do this... settle out of court. Figure out the total amount of what you'll pay her for 2.5 years if a judge gets involved. Come up with a lower number that will allow you to sleep at night without waking up screaming. Pay her off in a lump sum and be done with the business. Give until it hurts." So I did. I sold some guns and a couple guitars, and I took out a loan. Lived like a pauper on lettuce and water for a year. I saved many thousands and never looked back, and I feel a LOT better for it. Sorry for your pain, I know it well. Just figured this needed to be said. YMMV. Last edited by Kerbie; 06-24-2020 at 06:18 PM. Reason: No profanity please. |
#81
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Reminds me of the phrase “it’s cheaper to keep her”. This divorce will cause me a lifetime of debt. I have to come-up with an insane amount of money to buy her out of the house. I cannot afford to sell the house and split the proceeds, because since we bought the house in 1997, housing prices have skyrocketed to absolutely unaffordable. Meaning, I am looking at apartment living if I sell. And our son is still living with me. Anyway, it already hurts, and I haven’t even started paying yet. Never again my friend, no way.
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Be nice. |
#82
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I gave up 75% of my worth and accumulated a five figure attorney bill in my early 30’s. It was financially devastating and ultimately worth every penny.
I know people keep telling you but the future is not as grim as you think it will be and the Emotional ‘value’ of moving on helps offset the financial ‘cost’ of dissolution. We share a now grown child and and a grandchild together. While it’s been many years and I don’t see her often I actually look forward to getting caught up with her now and, from time to time, actually have a laugh over a shared memory. I send her birthday, Christmas and Mother’s Day greetings. Would have never predicted that 30 years ago. Every divorce is different of course....
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Please note: higher than average likelihood that any post by me is going to lean heavily on sarcasm. Just so we’re clear... |
#83
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Actually no, think outside of the box.
My late mother had sold her condo in NJ years ago and had bought a very, large "trailer", portable home, prefab, whatever you want to call it in Delaware. It was in area with other similar houses and she had to pay for the "land" and utilities monthly and was very happy with the financial side of things. She lived very comfortably for years until she felt she got too old to live so far from everyone else. https://factoryselectmobilehomes.com/ Condos, townhouses, are other options. Getting out of a metropolitan area is the key to affordable living.
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Barry Sad Moments {Marianne Vedral cover}: My SoundCloud page Some steel strings, some nylon. |
#84
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I'm forty years into my second marriage. My first went three years and my life flourished the moment my ex hit the state line with everything I owned packed in a U Haul trailer that I rented for her. Good riddence. Don't give up Mr. Eagle. It isn't a life sentence.
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#85
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There’s an old joke about marriage.
Q: “Why does the husband always die first? A: “Because he wants to!” Seriously though, is MA a no fault state? I find it hard to believe that she even has a leg to stand on.
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(2006) Larrivee OM-03R, (2009) Martin D-16GT, (1998) Fender Am Std Ash Stratocaster, (2013) McKnight McUke, (1989) Kramer Striker ST600, a couple of DIY builds (2013, 2023) |
#86
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I'd have several dollars! |
#87
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It is. The courts/judges in my state don’t care about details, don’t care who ruined the marriage, they simply don’t care. All they do is try to divide the assets. In the vast majority of cases, the (ex)-husband is the one that gets destroyed.
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Be nice. |
#88
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Be nice. Last edited by Kerbie; 06-25-2020 at 04:30 PM. Reason: Edited quote |
#89
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I’m still in the fight, not over yet, ex is going after every dollar. Incredible. Never again!
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Be nice. |
#90
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I don't know you, but I know exactly what you're going thru. I know it accomplishes nothing, but I'm behind you 100%. In the end, you have to have more patience and stubbornness than the other side. They're trying to wear you out. You have to know your leverage and just say, "no" when the deal isn't right.
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