Retirement Regrets

[MrDB]

Originally Posted by AX17609

Yeah, me. I’ve mentioned it as a cautionary tale several times on this site, but I get crushed by negative comments every time I do. At the insistence of my wife, I retired at 60 from a senior management position in a public health organization figuring I’d find something else to do. That was 11 years ago, and I never did. I lost all my professional value and most of my social life. My hobbies proved to be empty. I’m pretty much the poster boy for the downside of early retirement.

AX don't worry about the negative posters. They aren't you. You enjoyed and valued your position of authority and responsibility and lost a sense of purpose when you retired, proving that early retirement isn't for everyone.

I had a close working relationship with a coworker that was a few years older than me. He retired about 10 yrs ago at 62 because his wife wanted him to so they could move closer to their daughter and grandkids. Ended up as a terrible decision for him as he's miserable. We forget that grandkids at 7 and 8 yrs old think grandparents are just the coolest people on the planet. Not so much when they get to be teenagers and get wrapped up in their own lives and activities.

I had a disturbing phone call with him a year or so ago before I retired myself. He just came right out and said that he was just waiting around to die. I told him to stay in touch but he badly needed to find something to do that would give him a sense of purpose.

[KevWind]

Originally Posted by Mandobart

Not another retirement thread!!!!!

I've been eligible for retirement for the past nearly three years. Of course if I had jumped as soon as I was eligible it would have seriously reduced my pension, so I planned to leave when I turn 60 (still a little over two years away).

I'm well-set financially and I've told everyone that I will be gone within two years. It could be two years, one year or maybe just one bad day away....

Aside from people I know who chose low paying professions or those forced into it, I don't know anyone who regrets retiring early.

Any AGF'ers who wish they'd stayed on? Regret retiring before age 65, 67, 70, etc.

Note I'm not talking about or asking when to draw social security. I'm asking about ending your career, quitting work, etc.

Not me I retired from custom home construction at 57 But have been involved in 4 personal construction projects since . 3 Remodels and a new Barn/Arena, so I guess I didn't retire just changed bosses

For me retirement has been great for checking off bucket list

Just a few examples
Yucatan


Kodiak


Turks and Caicos


Jackson Hole

[buddyhu]

I retired 10 years ago, when I was not quite 58.

I have enjoyed retirement a great deal, and getting away from the stress of my profession has been...well, glorious.

That being said, retirement does present some challenges regarding meaning (what is the purpose of this day), relationship (your close friends are still available, but the many people who afforded you an opportunity to have more superficial, but still pleasant and interpersonal moments throughout the day are gone...I took that for granted, and have missed it more than I could have realized), and activity. And, for most folks, having a job provides a sense of being valued or important...so letting that go is not so easy, and can aggravate any underlying issues regarding self-esteem.

Some people are not able to meet these challenges in a way that leads to a fulfilling retirement. My dad was one of those: no real friends outside of work, no hobbies or interests to fill his days, and did not find something to do that might have filled his days with meaning (he tried delivering Meals ON Wheels for a few months, didn't like it, and never tried anything else).

I am very happy that I retired early enough to really enjoy it. As my body and mind change with advancing age, I can see that there may come a time when just getting through each day (fixing meals, doing laundry, etc.) may require most of my energy, and that travel and hobbies may wither as a result (my father-in-law said he crossed that threshold in his mid-80's, but I see that some of my friends have medical conditions that have brought them to that point in their mid-70's, sometimes even earlier) and one never knows when one might "shuffle off this mortal coil".

Clearly, retirement isn't for everyone. But the past 10 years of being retired have been very fine for me.

[fazool]

teaching college is a passion of mine - I intend to return to teaching as an adjunct or professor of practice as a retirement gig and to make a little extra spending cash

[emtsteve]

I'm 55 now and looking at full pension and retirement from my corporate gig at 62. I've enjoyed my work, travelled, and truly helped people but I won't miss it. We (been married 30 years this month) are looking forward to much more time with kids and grandkids, travel, and whatever we want.

I may end up having a part time job doing something in the medical field but we'll see about that. It's all good till it gets in the way of my fun time. Money numbers look good so I shouldn't have to work. I certainly have never felt defined by my work. Other than my part-time work on a paid ambulance, I always saw work as a means to an end, a way to keep the bills paid. The EMT and volly FF stuff I did because I enjoyed it so I could see going back to that in some capacity.

Fingers crossed that our health continues to be excellent and we have many years to enjoy together. Life is good and retired life should be even gooder!

[jpd]

Originally Posted by RP

Nobody lying on their death bed ever wished they had more time to stay on their job. In a similar vein, I have not one iota of regret that I retired at the age of 60...

I did the same. I'm fortunate to be financially stable with good health...and my wife will be retiring in a few months. The retirees I know that are "bored" are the people that have no interest in anything outside of working...no matter what field they were in. Their favorite question is, "What do you do each day?" To be that lost in this life is a tragedy.

[difalkner]

About 5 years ago the technology company I worked for pulled out of Louisiana and they wanted me to move to MS, AL, or TN but we didn't want to move. So after 25+ years in the technology sector and at age 62 Sandy and I decided that I would just do woodworking from the house. It was a great decision not to pursue another technology related job knowing I would be bowing out in 3-4 years anyway.

In the last 5 years I've built one acoustic guitar and started a second (have enough wood to build about 25), built a robust CNC router, opened a successful Etsy shop, procured local contracts for high-end custom woodworking, and spend a lot of time working on music with our Praise Band at church.

I have supper ready every day when Sandy gets home, manage to fit in some housekeeping chores during the week, and started on SS at 66. I'm not even close to being retired since I put in more hours than my daughter who works a full time job at Starbucks.

My 'drive' to work is a 20' walk out to the climate controlled shop and I get to do woodworking all day long - I love it!!

[brad4d8]

I retired a little over 5 years ago, at age 67. I had intended to work until I was 70, to build up my pension. Unfortunately, health issues intervened and I was unable to continue in my job. Major issues are gone, but there are still lingering problems, some of which interfere with my playing time and abilities.

[srick]

Originally Posted by buddyhu

That being said, retirement does present some challenges regarding meaning (what is the purpose of this day), relationship (your close friends are still available, but the many people who afforded you an opportunity to have more superficial, but still pleasant and interpersonal moments throughout the day are gone...I took that for granted, and have missed it more than I could have realized), and activity.

Very good point Rich. I miss my staff. We really liked each other and shared a lot of life together. We still text back and forth and touch base via Facebook, but I miss the day to day. Once Covid is under control, I am looking forward to playing guitar with close friends and traveling to workshops, etc. and making some new friends.

Rick

[Ghostpicker]

Not me. I retired at 57 and have been very happy and VERY busy ever since. So many new things to try and new things to do and time to invest in old passions (like guitar playing). I never defined myself by my job, once it was gone I felt free to reinvent myself. I stay in touch with colleagues who are still on the job and every visit with them reminds me that I made the right decision (for me). Life is about choices. Choose to be happy, you will be. Choose to be bored, you will be.

[sayheyjeff]

Retirement has worked for me. I didn’t always like the company I worked for the last 20 years but I loved my work as a market/consumer researcher. I was always a bit of a workaholic once I ‘found my path’. The urban commute of 6.2 miles in an hour each way made for a long day of 12 to 14 hours most days and placed limits on extra curriculars. The availability of ‘alternative work schedules, the last 4 years on the job offered free days in advance of retirement that allowed me to get more involved in my own special interests. The alt schedule called for working “extra hours” on work days and having Fridays or Mondays off every other week. The availability of free days allowed my wife and me a lot of opportunities for long weekend trips which we did. It was at that time that I decided to take guitar lessons and a new focus on non work related goals and activities. The 4th buyout offering came when I was 59. When the 1st 3 offers came, I was still really involved in my career and we weren’t ready financially and I passed. When the 4th came, changes in the company and it’s direction weren’t so much to my liking and my career was becoming more of a job. We were given 2 weeks to decide to volunteer to take the package and we decided I should take it. My wife had left her position and joined the consulting world and it looked like a good move for us. It has been pretty much from day 1. Besides getting into guitar, cooking, gardening, golf and travel, the opportunity to spend time with friends and family was huge. At the end of my 1st year of retirement, my Dad was found to have cancer and My parents were going to need help. With my wife’s blessing, I started spending more and more time with my parents in Florida. The role of caregiver gave me (and my brother) new purpose. That role lasted 5 years. It certainly simplified the need for purpose after retirement for me and I felt lucky in life -again- to have the time and energy to fill that role. Obviously meaningful and satisfying in ways I couldn’t have known. Been a few years since they passed, and my wife has retired too. We have little trouble finding things of interest. There aren’t enough hours in the day or days in the week for either of us. Isolation during the pandemic has been challenging, but spring weather and the promise of being able to return to everyday activities has illustrated all that we have missed in retirement life. Been retired for 10 years now. Couldn’t have worked out better for me.

Jeff

[Sax Player Guy]

Originally Posted by fazool

teaching college is a passion of mine - I intend to return to teaching as an adjunct or professor of practice as a retirement gig and to make a little extra spending cash

That sounds like a good plan, Fazool. Teaching college is my profession, and I have been very fortunate to have had this for my career. My feeling has long been, "Why would I ever want to retire? I absolutely love teaching!" It's the ol' 'Do what you love and you'll never "work" a day in your life' situation.

Of course, the actual teaching is just a part of being a college teacher. Meetings, constantly having to learn the endless new computer programs/systems, and dealing with the stream of new reporting requirements imposed by administrators and the government all take their toll over time. After a few decades of it, I now can understand why some of my older colleagues decided to retire.

The great thing about your plan of teaching as an adjunct or professional practice professor is that you'll be spared nearly all the administrative work, and mostly be doing the best part-- the teaching!

Best of luck with your plan, Fazool!

[Caddy]

Back in 2007 I was offered an early retirement buyout. I was just short of 60 at the time. The deal was far too good not to take, so I retired. That is now nearly 14 years ago and they have been some of the best years of my life. One of the best things is freedom of time. Rain on the day you were going to wash the car or mow the lawn, no big deal. Tomorrow will work just fine. I always say that the freedom of time is much like when you were school age and off for the summer, but this is even better because there is no back to school facing you in the fall.

I have played more guitar and golf and other activities since I retired than I ever had time for before. Not once have I regretted retiring early. Never having to miss out on grandchildren’s sports or activities, or any other get togethers because of work schedule is just great. Also very nice to be able to go places or shop on weekdays and avoid the weekend crowds. One other benefit if you live where you get winter weather, as I do, if you had planned to go somewhere and the weather is really bad you can just wait a day or two until the weather is better. One day is as good as another, no work to work around.

[Denny B]

I've mentioned before that I retired in 2004 at age 55...I had offers to go back to work at my previous position, and several others...my reply was always that I wouldn't go back to work for half the hours and twice the pay...

Today, I have a wonderful family life full of experiences and events... and a few guitars and motorcycles to fill up the hours in between...

My mind-set was always that my career wasn't my identity, it was a place I went to make a living, so I could go home and enjoy my life...that's what I've always done, and retirement was hitting the jackpot payoff on that investment...

I have to say, too, that I personally know a few retired guys who have a lot of positive things in their lives that they don't seem to be able to enjoy because they can't seem to value their own identities past their retirements...

And I think this topic is like a lot of things in life...it's an "inside job..."

[Steve-arino]

I retired 5 years ago at age 60. Not by choice (I would have waited until I was 65ish, ie now) but not a huge surprise either (https://features.propublica.org/ibm/...rican-workers/).

So far since I retired:

1. Bought an RV and did a 6 mo. trip across all over the United States. My kids were my bookends - one in Boston and one in Berkeley.
2. Decided to invest serious time to learn how to play fingerstyle guitar. Not learning how to play would have been a major regret - more so than retiring too early :-)!! Took lessons from Mark Hanson for the first 1.5 years. I spend hours a day playing now. LOVE.
3. Spent a few months touring Europe.
4. Went on Safari in Kenya.
5. Moved from NY to S. Florida. Thought living in NY was too expensive.
6. Moved back to NY from Florida after 3 years. Bought a small place with an Atlantic ocean view. A dream for me.

I'm almost 66 now. For the first time ever I'm starting to feel my age. I'm often bored. Sometimes lonely as I'm still single 10 years after getting divorced. I have many interests and do lots of "stuff" (like taking the train to NYC once a week just to walk around - thankful that I can do that now!!!).

Reality is that in retirement there is lots of space between the notes. But in answer to your question, no regrets about retirement! I still wonder about what's next. This getting older thing is weird.