#1
|
|||
|
|||
New Original: "Emily and Mr. Neil"
Had a lot of fun writing this one. It has a bit of a light jazz flavor and I set a rule for myself when writing the lyrics - I had to state things as indirectly as possible, while still providing enough details so that the listener is able to understand correctly what is going on. It's been through three re-writes.
There are a few clams and clunkers in the recording, but what I am most interested in is if I managed to get the story across. Please tell me what you think is going on in this story. Of course comments and critiques re any aspect of this piece are welcome too. So here, without further ado, is Emily and Mr. Neil
__________________
Dave Pierce Taylor 555 '82 Martin DM '97 Yamaha EZ-AG Washburn Rover /w Fishman Matrix Infinity UST Shen SB-100 (double bass) 2010 |
#2
|
|||
|
|||
Nice, Dave! Is Emily a dolphin?
__________________
ShowcaseYourMusic (covers) ReverbNation (originals) SoundCloud (the Hobo Troubadour) |
#3
|
|||
|
|||
Possibly Emily is a sailboat??
__________________
"A songwriter's job is to go digging around in his soul and come up with, and put to paper, what others can't express about the soul itself." -Radney Foster Ranger's Soundclick page Roy's Reverbnation page |
#4
|
|||
|
|||
Well...............
it's going to take more than one listen, and I don't mind, so that's a big compliment. As a fellow singer/songwriter it was interesting, you told a story and made me listen and think, the signs of a good song. Well done Dave, when I have time for another listen I'll post my "thoughts", I liked it!
__________________
Rich - rmyAddison Rich Macklin Soundclick Website http://www.youtube.com/rmyaddison Martin OM-18 Authentic '33 Adirondack/Mahogany Martin CS OM-28 Alpine/Madagascar Martin CS 00-42 Adirondack/Madagascar Martin OM-45TB (2005) Engelmann/Tasmanian Blackwood (#23 of 29) |
#5
|
|||
|
|||
The vote so far re the nature of Emily:
Dolphin 2 votes (one by email) Mermaid 2 votes (one by email) Sailboat 1 vote But Emily is only 1/2 of the story. I'll wait a couple of days and then do the "Paul Harvey" thing Thanks so much for listening and posting, guys. It means a lot to me.
__________________
Dave Pierce Taylor 555 '82 Martin DM '97 Yamaha EZ-AG Washburn Rover /w Fishman Matrix Infinity UST Shen SB-100 (double bass) 2010 |
#6
|
|||
|
|||
Ah, the rest of the story...a lonely old man goes down to sit on the pier each morning and feeds the dolphin who does dances out of the water as dolphins do. He talks to it and tells it about what is on his mind. But today, an oil slick has kept the wildlife away and Emily won't be there.
How far am I from the story?
__________________
ShowcaseYourMusic (covers) ReverbNation (originals) SoundCloud (the Hobo Troubadour) |
#7
|
|||
|
|||
I agree with Bob about the story - I think it is also a dolphin (with a hole to blow out water, making the "rainbows" - which is a wonderful line).
The past couple of tunes you made were great, but this one is just fantastic! I absolutely love the guitar playing and your singing is perfect. The melody flows so nice, with the faster parts and the slower lines and pauzes - it suits the seashore feeling perfect. Really, really nice - no idea how you come up with such a nice progression, but I really love it! And the story is very interesting - very sad, but it really keeps you listening. You can picture things in your head, it really takes you somewhere else when you listen. The last verse is the saddest, too bad endings can't be always happy, but it is so nicely written. Fantastic tune, very nicely done! |
#8
|
|||
|
|||
The Rest of the Story
Hmm, If Steven King can create a murderous Cadillac named Christine, I guess I could come up with a smiling, sandwich eating, sailboat, named Emily. But I didn't Thanks, Roy, for taking the time to give it a listen and posting.
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
__________________
Dave Pierce Taylor 555 '82 Martin DM '97 Yamaha EZ-AG Washburn Rover /w Fishman Matrix Infinity UST Shen SB-100 (double bass) 2010 |
#9
|
|||
|
|||
Hi Mr Dave . . .
I loved "Emily and Mr. Neil". It will probably take me a few more listens to begin to figure out the full story. I really admire your ability to tell such a wonderful story in such a melodic way. My favorite sports announcer Chick Hearn passed away a few years ago and they used to say his great ability was to create a "words-eye-view" of the LA Lakers games for his radio audience. You did the same through "Emily and Mr. Neil".
__________________
Steve SoundCloud / SoundClick / Facebook Music Page 'More guitars than I need but not as many as I want.' |
#10
|
|||
|
|||
OK, I had my second listen.......................
OUTSTANDING Dave, all my respect! A lot of honestly mediocre stuff gets posted here, some understandably by newbies who may become great, and some by folks who just aren't blessed with a lot of talent, being honest not hopefully mean. And then occasionally we get songs like "Emily and Mr. Neil" which are absolutley "where did that come from" fantastic! I've taken a few songwriting workshops and that would get big props from the pros. Everything works, the playing, the very nice emotional singing, and the wonderful and uniquely different story. I loved it...................
__________________
Rich - rmyAddison Rich Macklin Soundclick Website http://www.youtube.com/rmyaddison Martin OM-18 Authentic '33 Adirondack/Mahogany Martin CS OM-28 Alpine/Madagascar Martin CS 00-42 Adirondack/Madagascar Martin OM-45TB (2005) Engelmann/Tasmanian Blackwood (#23 of 29) |
#11
|
|||
|
|||
Quote:
By the way... did you ever get your question answered re recording vs. automating faders in different programs? Quote:
__________________
Dave Pierce Taylor 555 '82 Martin DM '97 Yamaha EZ-AG Washburn Rover /w Fishman Matrix Infinity UST Shen SB-100 (double bass) 2010 |
#12
|
|||
|
|||
Quote:
__________________
Steve SoundCloud / SoundClick / Facebook Music Page 'More guitars than I need but not as many as I want.' |
#13
|
|||
|
|||
You really get your point across without being melodramatic. I loved it, I cried ...
__________________
Gerry Last edited by Bevelman; 07-08-2010 at 10:25 PM. |
#14
|
|||
|
|||
Quote:
And at the risk of hijacking my own thread... Guys, you have got to check out Gerry's YouTube - "Would You Like To Play The Guitar" (sung to the to the tune of "Would You Like to Swing on a Star"). Utterly hilarious!
__________________
Dave Pierce Taylor 555 '82 Martin DM '97 Yamaha EZ-AG Washburn Rover /w Fishman Matrix Infinity UST Shen SB-100 (double bass) 2010 |