Smog and Soot - Lowden F32

[foxo]

First time making a video with my new Lowden. This is an original song called Smog and Soot for an upcoming album by my friend and me.

Note: contains a mild swear word.




Lyrics

This town was built on smog and soot
It's seeped into the earth, into the roots
It's as thick as mud
Runs through my blood
This is the place that I call home
This is the place that I call home

Trams and horse **** line the roads
On every street there's a fence who offloads
Cheap silverware and jewels
Stolen from some poor fool
This is the place that I call home
This is the place that I call home

Drown me in whisky and rye
The fires burn the midnight sky
Gonna find me a woman for the night
Take her home, make her feel alright
This is the place that I call home
This is the place that I call home

My mind is its own empire
It fills me my every desire
Don't you talk about love
Nor the stars up above
This is the place that I call home
This is the place that I call home

[foxo]

Also apologies for how quiet it is, just getting used my monitors.

[s2y]

Solid ideas and foundation. The only thing I'd critique is the repetitive nature.

When going to the 2nd fret barre chord for the 2nd time, grab the open then first fret of the bass notes for a chromatic walk. Instead of root and fifth, grab the inverted fifth occasionally.

For the chorus, maybe alternate the inflections.
This is the place I call home
This is the place I (dramatic pause) call home
Perhaps a little too stereotypical, sustain "home" the last time around.

Simple things can spice things up without reinventing the wheel.

[foxo]

Originally Posted by s2y

Solid ideas and foundation. The only thing I'd critique is the repetitive nature.

When going to the 2nd fret barre chord for the 2nd time, grab the open then first fret of the bass notes for a chromatic walk. Instead of root and fifth, grab the inverted fifth occasionally.

For the chorus, maybe alternate the inflections.
This is the place I call home
This is the place I (dramatic pause) call home
Perhaps a little too stereotypical, sustain "home" the last time around.

Simple things can spice things up without reinventing the wheel.

Thanks for constructive feedback, will try that out. On the chorus I normally play G to G7 on the second repeat for different inflection but I forgot this time.

[s2y]

Originally Posted by foxo

Thanks for constructive feedback, will try that out. On the chorus I normally play G to G7 on the second repeat for different inflection but I forgot this time.

Gotcha. I was lucky to be in a band a long time ago on bass with a guitarist and drummer who both had phenomenal senses of production. They were huge into all of the little things making a song pop. I was later in a band with guys who had to reinvent the wheel and it's a miracle we didn't murder each other.

[foxo]

Originally Posted by s2y

Gotcha. I was lucky to be in a band a long time ago on bass with a guitarist and drummer who both had phenomenal senses of production. They were huge into all of the little things making a song pop. I was later in a band with guys who had to reinvent the wheel and it's a miracle we didn't murder each other.

I’m still pretty new to guitar, started in 2017. My technical ability needs a lot of work, this song is pretty tricky by my standards but I am enjoying the ride. Songwriting is my main pleasure but I think I need to focus on improving guitar right now to bring out the best in the material.

[started with 1]

Well done. Keep at it.