Pass it on or pay it forward - Page 4

KevWind · #46 01-22-2022, 11:09 AM

Yet still speculating on motive is just that, "wild speculation", not fact or even informed opinion.
But the question of health, is a valid one

I'll let it go with that... Cheers all

J Patrick · #47 01-22-2022, 11:10 AM

…the first time I encountered the term “pay it forward” it was the title of a benefit concert that I was invited to play at almost twenty years ago…..we were raising funds to help cover medical costs incurred by the brother of a local radio host….cancer was the culprit …..how on earth it has evolved into scenarios like the donut drive through baffles me….but I will applaud any effort of kindness towards others regardless of motive…..

…..still…like the OP I would likely decline the offer of someone else covering my check….that’s too weird for me…..

Tnfiddler · #48 01-22-2022, 11:20 AM

I think we’ll all just have to agree to disagree on this and move along. Have a blessed day!

Slothead56 · #49 01-22-2022, 11:27 PM

Never realized donuts were a luxury item. Should have never bought that Mercedes!!

Silurian · #50 01-23-2022, 04:47 AM

I've never heard of this here in the UK.

I'm not keen on the idea. What if the guy in front paying your bill is Don Corleone and he knocks on your door two weeks later asking you to repay the "favour".

cyclistbrian · #51 01-23-2022, 06:36 AM

Meh. I put my kindness in the tip jar. I'm doing well. The person serving me could use it more than the kid behind me in mom and dad's Range Rover.

Jamolay · #52 01-23-2022, 08:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Slothead56

Never realized donuts were a luxury item. Should have never bought that Mercedes!!

Donuts are a sweet pastry, a treat and not a healthy food item. To me that is a luxury. Not a big one, but it is not something that is necessary for living.

buddyhu · #53 01-23-2022, 09:55 AM

Hey guys! There are a lot of you who seem to be confused about what is going on when you "pay it forward". IF you decide to participate, you are giving a GIFT. If you don't want to give gifts to people that you don't know, fine. You are very much entitled to make that choice. No harm, no foul.

But you are missing the point about "paying it forward" if you start talking about whether a particular person needs or deserves a gift. Do you only give birthday gifts to people who make less than you do? If you make fruitcakes or candy at Christmas, do you only give some to the neighbors who have houses that Zillow says are worth more than yours? Do you only buy a beer for a friend if he makes less than you do? Do you only accept an offer from a friend to "buy a round" if you are confident he makes more than you do?

Gifts are gestures of goodwill. Need or deserve should have little to do with it. Need or deserve comes into play when considering charity, and that is a different category of experience that may overlap gifting, but which is different in a number of important ways.

End of rant....

RedJoker · #54 01-23-2022, 10:57 AM

I think I'll do a simplified "Pay it Forward" the next time I'm in a drive-thru. I'll leave a $5 bill as a gift to the car behind me. They can take it or give it to the car behind them. If everyone just leaves it for the car behind them, the world will be a better place. Think of all that gift giving for a total combined cost of the original $5! Plus, the restaurant works don't have to keep everything straight.

Ps: I'm just being silly. Nothing more.

619TF · #55 01-23-2022, 11:07 AM

Ah...but this is a "gift" with expectations of return. If someone offers me a birthday gift do they expect that next time theirs comes around I will get one of equal or greater value? When someone buys me a drink you can bet that if I don't have enough funds in my pocket to buy one back I'm turning it down though as that's just gracious and would be rude to do otherwise where I come from. These strangers doing the "pay it forward" thing are putting undue social pressure on the next person in line. It's not a gift but rather a continuous chain of giving and, when broken, you get looks like the OP described (or worse).

I think the signature in the posting about donuts being a luxury item and the Mercedes was missed for the sarcasm was fairly evident. For the record though, some of us out here are actually struggling to afford rent and real food so donuts are indeed quite luxurious of a spend. It's nice to have things when you have money... any amount more than you need to survive... but it feels to me like these "gifts" are wasteful and more of a curse to less fortunate people. Walk a half a mile in my holed filled shoes and maybe you'd understand.

Tnfiddler · #56 01-23-2022, 12:44 PM

This thread would be better if closed.

buddyhu · #57 01-23-2022, 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 619TF

Ah...but this is a "gift" with expectations of return. If someone offers me a birthday gift do they expect that next time theirs comes around I will get one of equal or greater value? When someone buys me a drink you can bet that if I don't have enough funds in my pocket to buy one back I'm turning it down though as that's just gracious and would be rude to do otherwise where I come from. These strangers doing the "pay it forward" thing are putting undue social pressure on the next person in line. It's not a gift but rather a continuous chain of giving and, when broken, you get looks like the OP described (or worse).

I think the signature in the posting about donuts being a luxury item and the Mercedes was missed for the sarcasm was fairly evident. For the record though, some of us out here are actually struggling to afford rent and real food so donuts are indeed quite luxurious of a spend. It's nice to have things when you have money... any amount more than you need to survive... but it feels to me like these "gifts" are wasteful and more of a curse to less fortunate people. Walk a half a mile in my holed filled shoes and maybe you'd understand.

I am sorry that this thread and topic have elicited uncomfortable feelings for you.

Regarding expectations: some people have expectations of reciprocity when they give, some do not. Most have such expectations sometimes, and do not have any expectations in other gifting situations. If I were “paying it forward”, I would not expect reciprocity, nor would I anticipate that my action would create a chain of others in the line behind me who would also “pay it forward”.

When I have been blessed to be the receiver of a “pay it forward” gesture (usually happened at bridge toll booths many years ago), I have been too surprised to offer to do the same to the person behind me. Instead, I have smiled and waved at the person in front of me. And at a later date, I have sometimes felt inclined to pay forward for another.

But again, I am sorry that your difficult circumstances have made this thread an unpleasant experience. That was certainly not my intent.

TN Fiddler is probably right: best to treat this thread as closed.

frankmcr · #58 01-23-2022, 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by H165

Interesting how this thread has turned into a philosophic discussion.

Well, it was never going to turn into a "crullers vs. Boston cream" discussion.

Tyeetime · #59 01-23-2022, 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frankmcr

Well, it was never going to turn into a "crullers vs. Boston cream" discussion.

Well since you brought it up, Boston Cream obviously.

619TF · #60 01-23-2022, 03:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by buddyhu

I am sorry that this thread and topic have elicited uncomfortable feelings for you.

TN Fiddler is probably right: best to treat this thread as closed.

Thanks. Just words on a page though to me and no big deal when reality is far more problematic.

Yeah, this one seems quite done with.