How do you cope with people not caring about your music?

[CityPickn]

I'm upset so take this with a grain of salt.

I spent a long while learning and crafting a song. Time to memorize it, internalize the rhythm, clear and concise notes. Show it to people who actually know that I put a lot of time into this.

"Oh you should hear Charlie play crazy train...". What? "Your brother Billy had pizza for dinner tonight". They are changing the topic on purpose as if I'm not even aware.

I spent since Sept-friggin-tember on a song and I feel it shows all my lessons paying. Why do I torture myself even showing people? I was proud of it and now I question it.

Right here... You can see why I will never be in a band or gig musician. I can't take people being a jerk to my face. The one person who did it... I've overhead many times before stairway to heaven solo is what they think the apex of guitar. Guess what solo is on the menu? What a sick thrill to pull that out of the bag and ruin it for you. Hardest solo ever?

[Rev Roy]

Sorry you had such a bad experience. We’ve all had variations of the same. How do I handle it? Play to fulfill yourself not to please others. If others are impressed too? Cool. If not? Still cool. You don’t need their praise.

[LuckyDan]

Sorry. Screw em.

Or

Maybe they think you have such great guitar skills they are no longer surprised to hear you sounding like a pro.

But ask yourself why are you doing this? For praise? Or for the personal satisfaction that comes with it? Be happy with the praise when it comes but don't expect it. Pursue the personal satisfaction that comes with improving and meeting goals.

[Godfather]

Are they musicians… by their responses, I doubt it, so don't sweat it. Do what makes YOU happy and do not worry about what others think.

[foxo]

I play for audiences who do care. I’m lucky to have access to a few open mics and folk club sessions where the crowd is attentive and usually I get a few compliments afterwards.

I’ve accepted that some friends and family just aren’t that bothered about my music. Fair play to them, I’m not interested in all their endeavours either.

[jim1960]

Originally Posted by CityPickn

I'm upset so take this with a grain of salt.

I spent a long while learning and crafting a song. Time to memorize it, internalize the rhythm, clear and concise notes. Show it to people who actually know that I put a lot of time into this.

"Oh you should hear Charlie play crazy train...". What? "Your brother Billy had pizza for dinner tonight". They are changing the topic on purpose as if I'm not even aware.

I spent since Sept-friggin-tember on a song and I feel it shows all my lessons paying. Why do I torture myself even showing people? I was proud of it and now I question it.

Right here... You can see why I will never be in a band or gig musician. I can't take people being a jerk to my face. The one person who did it... I've overhead many times before stairway to heaven solo is what they think the apex of guitar. Guess what solo is on the menu? What a sick thrill to pull that out of the bag and ruin it for you. Hardest solo ever?

Sometimes you have the wrong audience, sometimes a song just isn't that good despite who you may think of it, but if you're writing for compliments, you're writing for the wrong reasons and that may account for the disconnect. Continue to work on your craft but write for the joy the songs give you. If the songs are good enough, they'll resonate with others. None of us are entitled to praise or to a captive audience. Both things have to be earned.

[teashea]

No one owes you anything, including the need to pay attention to your songs. No one has to like your songs or pay any attention to them. Get over it. There are a lot of things in the world. People care about different things. Very very few people will like your songs. Very few people like Taylor Swift's songs. You have no right to expect anyone to like any of your songs. They owe you nothing in this regard.

[Stevien]

Yep. You're doing it for yourself first. If you don't get enjoyment from it, & if you're counting the days & hours it takes to learn something, you may as well go out & play baseball. Very few players can mesmerize every crowd. And very few of us will ever be that good!
Steve

[Paleolith54]

Originally Posted by CityPickn

I'm upset so take this with a grain of salt.

I spent a long while learning and crafting a song. Time to memorize it, internalize the rhythm, clear and concise notes. Show it to people who actually know that I put a lot of time into this.

"Oh you should hear Charlie play crazy train...". What? "Your brother Billy had pizza for dinner tonight". They are changing the topic on purpose as if I'm not even aware.

I spent since Sept-friggin-tember on a song and I feel it shows all my lessons paying. Why do I torture myself even showing people? I was proud of it and now I question it.

Right here... You can see why I will never be in a band or gig musician. I can't take people being a jerk to my face. The one person who did it... I've overhead many times before stairway to heaven solo is what they think the apex of guitar. Guess what solo is on the menu? What a sick thrill to pull that out of the bag and ruin it for you. Hardest solo ever?

I cope with it by not expecting other people to pat me on the head because I learned a song.

[foxo]

Originally Posted by Paleolith54

I cope with it by not expecting other people to pat me on the head because I learned a song.

I think some of you are being unduly harsh on the OP. He’s clearly wound up but it can be quite dejecting when your music doesn’t have the desired reaction. No need to make things worse.

[martingitdave]

Find a better audience and keep practicing. If you’ve got it, it will come.

[varmonter]

When I was in college. At a dorm party. Like 12 people in a dorm drinking and smoking. This guy takes this kitten by the tail swings it around and bounces it off the wall..and laughs..Im like mortified that someone could think it’s alright to do this to a cat. Some people just don’t get music..in the same ignorant way as this cat flinger didn’t get it...I’m sorry this happened to you.. but it’s not personal..try to not let it bother you.. The good times playing music outweigh the bad...by a long way ..keep doin it.

[rllink]

First of all, playing for family and friends has to be the worst audience you can play for. I won't play for mine unless we're all drunk. Playing for my wife is fine I guess, but beyond that it doesn't happen. She goes out of her way to be supportive.

I play gigs quite often where I'm just background music, singing my heart out to a store full of people who aren't even listening. I just tune everyone out and give it all I got. Don't worry about it, sometimes that's all it is. There's always next time.

[jacot23]

Hopefully it isn't your spouse. My wife has absolutely zero interest in anything that I play regardless of genre or instrument; that kinda hurts. And yes I can play several songs on banjo and a couple on guitar.

[R22]

I pretty much just write and record now a days. I put a lot of time and effort into every song. If other musicians hear them, I usually get a positive, and sometimes very complimentary response. Regular folks, it's a crap shoot.

The vast majority of people aren't into listening for every detail of an arrangement. Most just flat out don't know how to listen, or care to know how.

I think the most irritating thing for me is when I send a song to somebody to hear, and get no reaction whatsoever.