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  #31  
Old 12-02-2021, 09:21 AM
Dr Dread Dr Dread is offline
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I'm sorry to hear of your Mom's passing Todd, my condolences. Please know that you're in our thoughts and prayers.
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  #32  
Old 12-02-2021, 09:44 AM
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So sorry for your loss Todd. Losing parents is always hard, and must be even harder because of how much you've given of yourself to your folks over the past years. Mine have been gone 22 and 16 years now and the ache and the pain are mostly in the past, but I still often find myself thinking, 'I should call the folks to tell them about this'. I wish they'd lived to see some of the things that have happened since they passed but am deeply grateful they did NOT have to see some of the other things. They'd be so proud of their grandkids, and so in love with now a great granddaughter. But I remember what rough shape they were both in for months (in one case) and years (in the other) before they passed and I know it was time.

So take peace in your grief knowing you did everything you could for them when they needed you.

-Ray
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  #33  
Old 12-02-2021, 10:24 AM
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Sorry to hear about your Mom.

Condolences sent.
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  #34  
Old 12-02-2021, 10:25 AM
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Thanks everyone - you are all very kind.

I was hoping for/expecting deep sleep last night, but it didn't come. I was in bed 3 times over 10 hours but probaby 4-5 hours

Mom and Dad arranged and paid for their funerals when they were in their 30's, so there will be little to do except sign some documents. I've obviously taken today off and all I'm planning is collecting her clothes from the nursing home and getting a workout in.

Taking today for some well needed mental rest and reflection.

Thanks again for your kind words.
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  #35  
Old 12-02-2021, 10:59 AM
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Originally Posted by fitness1 View Post
Thanks Austin - there is going to be a long rest (except for exercise of course) then it will be time to find myself again.

My music has certainly taken a back seat, and I plan to try to get my chops back again.
What a wonderful photo. And, as been said, what a wonderful son you have been. You have earned your rest. Be sure to take it!

I put my life on hold for about 3 years taking care (with my siblings) of my dad, who suffered hugely. I know what "ravaged by cancer" actually means. At least we fought for the choice he wanted: to finish it at home. He lived in a beautiful spot, but fairly remote. The docs wanted him close to the hospital. But eventually he communicated that he did not care anymore, and he wanted it to end in his own bed. It was a huge battle to be allowed to give him his wish.

And yeah, for the months of home "care" (basically pain management) music playing took a back seat. Interestingly it was entire songs that fell away. Noodling did not disappear and was a life saver. A few minutes playing my Beneteau helped me, and helped my dad. He was a player himself and loved that guitar. He was fascinated during the design stage and was the voice of patience during the build. It was amazing how much the sound of it seemed to help him focus during the bouts of agony.

Hopefully when you get back to more playing it will help you focus on that journey of resting and help you honor your mom and dad.

It sounds like you have been a good son and a good human being. Bravo. Like a sympathetic string I recognize the pain...and relief. Best wishes.
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  #36  
Old 12-02-2021, 11:42 AM
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It was a huge battle to be allowed to give him his wish.
Your Dad did it "right".

In my case, I've lived on my own terms all my life and I WILL also die on them

It's so sad to have to fight for mercy.

Thanks for the kind words.
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  #37  
Old 12-02-2021, 03:12 PM
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I'm sorry for your loss.
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  #38  
Old 12-02-2021, 04:00 PM
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Peace be with you, brother Todd.
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  #39  
Old 12-02-2021, 04:13 PM
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Sorry to read of your loss Todd, may your mother rest in peace.
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  #40  
Old 12-02-2021, 04:35 PM
Silly Moustache Silly Moustache is offline
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Hi Todd, I'm sorry to read of your loss and the trials you've had recently.
I've written to you before, as I've been through such difficult times myself, and remember the personal cost.
Now your Mum is at peace, and I wish you some peace now too.
Time to honour your Mum and Dad's lives, and to take care of yourself.

All the best, Andy
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  #41  
Old 12-02-2021, 04:52 PM
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Thanks guys - appreciate your support!
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  #42  
Old 12-02-2021, 06:31 PM
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Todd,
To have such a devoted son. Your parents were very lucky indeed. And clearly you felt lucky to have them. With great admiration, I wish you condolences, rest and peace now.
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  #43  
Old 12-02-2021, 06:35 PM
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Quote:
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Todd,
To have such a devoted son. Your parents were very lucky indeed. And clearly you felt lucky to have them. With great admiration, I wish you condolences, rest and peace now.
Yes - I won the parent lottery. We had a lot of love in the house growing up that gave me a pretty much ideal childhood, even without any frills (we were far from middle class!)

I'll be forever thankful I was able to give back to them in this way.

Thanks!
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  #44  
Old 12-02-2021, 08:52 PM
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Sorry for your loss, Todd.

I was touching my Mom when she took her last breath. The experience is beyond words.

Wishing you moments of consolation when you need them.
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  #45  
Old 12-02-2021, 09:45 PM
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Quote:
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I was touching my Mom when she took her last breath. The experience is beyond words.
It changed me at my core. I wasn't there for Dad's passing (middle of the night)
There was no way I was going to let her pass alone.
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