four echos wide - original - j45

[flatbaroque]

had this hanging around for a few weeks with a completely different melody...recorded it in three different keys.Didn't like the result and binned it...
Noodling on the lounge last night i came up with a new chord progression and melody and the old lyrics pretty much fitted...so here's a new song...happy to get any feedback

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hh1RIP0oqns

I’ll sing a chorus four echoes wide
Fire a canon across broadside
Bend on knees until they crack
Walk to Timbuktu and back

love is on the axis of the world
spin too fast your white flag will unfurl

I dread the morning when it breaks
so **** hard that my conscience wakes
remember all the petty crime
the worst was how I stole your time

you were planting diamonds
I just couldn’t water
If sorry needs some saying then I oughta

Fly to Paris in a silver jet
That’s not crazy but I’m not done yet
I’ll steal Giaconda right off her wall
Then paint your portrait two lifetimes tall
and I’ll mix the future with the past
Save the deepest blue for what won’t last

Lonely bones and lonely eyes
Can’t muster revolution cries
Leave the fighting to the rest
If you need a shoulder be my guest

It’s the least I owe you for what you did
You stood by when others went and hid

Lonely bones and lonely eyes
I should sing a chorus four echoes wide
Fire a canon across broadside
Bend on knees until they crack
Maybe walk to Timbuktu and back

love is on the axis of the world
spin too fast your white flag will unfurl