Circus Daze - Original song on J-45

[flatbaroque]

Gday folks,
When we had our last bushfires down here I heard a bloke interviewed on the radio.He was about to evacuate his house and was talking about 'what to take and what to leave behind"
That phrase stuck in my head as a lyric hook and ended up in this song i wrote.It's in open G. Hope you take a listen and let me know if you like it.
Cheers

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhC3q...vHgM6GffzUhRGQ

Circus daze
She bought herself a ticket
To see the man with the blue guitar
No one thought to tell her
That he plays the way things are

And he played her and Jimmy
And he played Jim and Jane
When the bridge of sighs starts sighing
Nothing stays the same

Circus days are over
Packing up the sign
Not so much what you’re taking
It’s what you leave behind

Had her turn inside the lion’s cage
With a monkey on her back
Figured that would shave her odds
Sweet logic drowned in that

Cause Daniel came here last week
Extracting every thorn
In a land of kings and sawdust
Not much mercy going on

Circus days…

Sentimental things to touch
Sentimental things to burn
Smoke hangs over Sydney
She drinks more than she earns

Fire up the mountains
Aunty Sue leaves Uncle Jack
Gumtrees spit and splinter
‘aint no turning back
Circus days….

They bought themselves a ticket
To see the man with the blue guitar
No one thought to tell them
He plays the way things are

Jugglers drop their place in time
Sentry falls asleep
Catapults and somersaults
Never found her feet

Circus days are over
Packing up the sign
Not so much what you’re taking
Its who you leave behind

[gibbyguy]

Nice job. Has a real Noel Gallagher sound to it. You been listening to Oasis a lot?
Thanks for sharing - enjoyed it.


Ed

[flatbaroque]

Ed thanks very much for commenting.Just a happy coincidence about the Noel Gallagher likeness.I quite like them when I hear them but they aren't on my playlist. I think Wonderwall is the only song I could name.
But I had a little listen after your comment and yea I can see some comparisons.
Thanks again.

[AJRed]

I like it and the lyrics are good. Thanks for sharing.

[Mr Fixit eh]

Really enjoyed that FB. That was gooood. The lyrics are great.

Rock on!

Steve

[Rogerblair]

Very well done. Great voice and that J45 sounds fabulous.

Rb

[patentcad]

Good song. Great lyrics.

[patentcad]

Originally Posted by patentcad

Good song. Great lyrics.

But maybe edit the song. I do like it, but could be too long. My first drafts of songs often get cut down by 30-50%, makes the song MUCH more effective.

[flatbaroque]

Mr Red thank you for your support.

Steve, glad you like the lyrics...I respect your opinion as you always pick lyrically interesting songs to perform...cheers mate.

Roger B you are too kind.I'm glad I chose the J-45.I wrote this on a uke - believe or not. Was going to record it as a uke song and changed my mind.

PC very good point you raised. After I recorded it I thought it was a little long. I could easily leave two choruses of " circus days...." out and tighten it up.Thanks for the good tip.I know myself I tend to have a 4 minute listening limit on original songs by unknowns on the net.But at least it wasn't an Edmund Fitzgerald

Cheers again everyone.

[patentcad]

Originally Posted by flatbaroque

PC very good point you raised. After I recorded it I thought it was a little long. I could easily leave two choruses of " circus days...." out and tighten it up.Thanks for the good tip.I know myself I tend to have a 4 minute listening limit on original songs by unknowns on the net..

Yeah, try it, it can take songs that are marginal and make them very effective. We get caught up on our lyrics and melodies, particularly when we like them (at least I do). Step back, analyze the big picture on the song, and you may well find you're better off cutting it down. I've cut songs back nearly in half and the positive impact of the shorter song made it so much more powerful. In art, less is usually more.