#16
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I don't have a wife, but I used to have one and I've had a couple of special girl friends at b'day and Christmas time- I always gave them what I wanted them to be gifted with - they can buy what they want- they can't but what I want to give them because they don't know- that, to me, makes it a complete surprise adding to the *special* day-
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#17
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See my post #2 in this thread. You can talk/listen/notice all you want but if you want to get her exactly what she desires as a gift (other than those things) my method always works. In fact it actually works just as well if a person still talks/listens/notices because a spouse should be doing that anyway.
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#18
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#19
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Funny, I've been thinking about this.
Trouble is in your '70s there isn't much that we can get that we can't just go and get if we wanted. About the only thing we'd both really love is to be able to move into a newer larger home somewhere out of town - but all the faff stops us! She has just spent quite a lot on having her rings altered enabling her to get them over her arthritic knuckles -bless her ..,I can no longer wear either of my two wedding bands for similar reasons. She buys her clothes as she sees them maintaining a strict quantity limits - passing older items to charity. She doesn't eat sweets or chocolates, and in these times we cannot go out to eat ... or drink. Upon first asking she said "a new Garden shed!" Well we both want that and there are significant logistical issues. Frankly I'd prefer to make it a brick built extension. She has just (literally) come to me and said "I'd like "The History of the World in 100 objects" a delightful series of short radio programmes on BBC radio 4 now out in book form - in many... different book forms! Amazon has made my head hurt and half of the offerings are about forcing you to join some ghastly monthly scheme which I strongly resist. Mostly we feel we must spend money on a shoulder operation for my stepson and a hand operation on me as the NHS seems to be in collapse. (Eight weeks for a telephone triage to see the GP in order for him to chase a two year old referral?) Haven't thought what I'd like.
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Silly Moustache, Just an old Limey acoustic guitarist, Dobrolist, mandolier and singer. I'm here to try to help and advise and I offer one to one lessons/meetings/mentoring via Zoom! |
#20
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Guild F212: 1964 (Hoboken), Guild Mark V: 1975 (Westerly), Guild Artist Award: 1975 (Westerly), Guild F50: 1976 (Westerly), Guild F512: 2010 (New Hartford), Pawless Mesquite Special: 2012, 90s Epi HR Custom (Samick), 2014 Guild OOO 12-fret Orpheum (New Hartford), 2013 12 fret Orpheum Dread (New Hartford), Guild BT258E, 8 string baritone, 1994 Guild D55, Westerly, 2023 Cordoba GK Negra Pro. |
#21
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#22
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This is an excellent and timely post. Thank you Bob!
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Don't chase tone. Make tone. |
#23
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Year's ago we came to the realization that we either had what we needed, didn't need half of what we wanted, and anyway, we could get it ourselves if we wanted it. It all felt so vacuous to both of us. I pleaded "no more" - ironically she earns much more than I do and could and would buy me anything but, i don't like the focus on buying. We agreed to stop and as one other person mentioned, we see it as 365 of potential shopping and so if we see it and really want it, no matter the date, we buy it.
Then one day, I stumbled on the "perfect" idea. You know, that house thing! She wanted some new doors and it was autumn and I said "Xmas for the house!". Since then, which was probably 15 years ago, it's been gifts for the house. We ponder through the year, which items or tasks we'd like to see done - new doors, windows, rooms painted professionally, appliances...... And select something and that's that. Due to the pandemic and her needing some major surgeries, we haven't played this game last season or current, but I'm sure 2022 will bring something to the abode. I'm angling to upgrade the 20 year old toaster oven.... and 30 year old microwave........ (I do most of the food prep). John
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~~~~~Bird is the Word~~~~~ Martin D-41, Larrivee L-19; Gibson L-130; Taylor 614-ce-L30; R Taylor 2 H&D Custom OM; Bauman 000 Cervantes Crossover I; Kenny Hill 628S; Rainsong Shorty SGA; CA GX Player, Cargo; Alvarez AP70; Stella, 12-string; 2 Ukes; Gibson Mandola; Charango, couple electrics |
#24
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Quote:
Bob
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"It is said, 'Go not to the elves for counsel for they will say both no and yes.' " Frodo Baggins to Gildor Inglorion, The Fellowship of the Ring THE MUSICIAN'S ROOM (my website) |
#25
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The Bard Rocks Fay OM Sinker Redwood/Tiger Myrtle Sexauer L00 Adk/Magnolia For Sale Hatcher Jumbo Bearclaw/"Bacon" Padauk Goodall Jumbo POC/flamed Mahogany Appollonio 12 POC/Myrtle MJ Franks Resonator, all Australian Blackwood Blackbird "Lucky 13" - carbon fiber '31 National Duolian + many other stringed instruments. |