My first instrumental piece (please critique)

[foxo]

I've written many songs, but nothing instrumental until now. I found it particularly challenging and I'm not sure how successful I was at this endeavour. Please let me know your thoughts.



Edit with second composition following feedback:

[rick-slo]

Congrats on your first.

Slow down so you can play more cleanly. Develop a good melody line and with more variation in it and in the chords used. Try not to to have strict alternate thumbing pattern on all the things you put together down the road - give yourself more variety in picking patterns.

[MrErikJ]

That's a good first try and I think it would definitely have an audience! I would second slowing down a little, at least until you get it better under your fingers. Also, while I don't think a lot of fingerstyle guitarists think this way, I think it's important a piece doesn't sound like it's a missing a singer. The way to do this is to write it like a sung song: have a verse melody, a chorus melody, etc. It shouldn't "ramble" per se or feel improvised.

However, I say that as, that's how I prefer to compose. I have heard musicians far more successful than I who write pieces similar to what you did here. Because it's not conventional doesn't mean it doesn't have it's audience. Practice it more slowly and see what come of it.

[foxo]

Originally Posted by rick-slo

Congrats on your first.

Slow down so you can play more cleanly. Develop a good melody line and with more variation in it and in the chords used. Try not to to have strict alternate thumbing pattern on all the things you put together down the road - give yourself more variety in picking patterns.

Thanks Rick, will try slowing things down.

Originally Posted by MrErikJ

That's a good first try and I think it would definitely have an audience! I would second slowing down a little, at least until you get it better under your fingers. Also, while I don't think a lot of fingerstyle guitarists think this way, I think it's important a piece doesn't sound like it's a missing a singer. The way to do this is to write it like a sung song: have a verse melody, a chorus melody, etc. It shouldn't "ramble" per se or feel improvised.

However, I say that as, that's how I prefer to compose. I have heard musicians far more successful than I who write pieces similar to what you did here. Because it's not conventional doesn't mean it doesn't have it's audience. Practice it more slowly and see what come of it.

Thanks, that’s very helpful advice - I admit I wasn’t thinking of it in terms of verse chorus bridge etc. but just which chords would work. I’ll try approaching it from a different angle and see what I come up with.

[Aimelie]

You’re getting good advice here, Neil.

I know how much you love “Watermelon”, but first we all have to do the “Hokey Pokey”.

(Slower, accent on precision, then just as much reflection in the instrumental phrasing as in your singing pieces — dynamics and relief matter, too.)

I’m not suggesting I master these things myself, but it’s easier to objectively make these observations on something someone else wrote.

[TBman]

Neil,

Not bad for a first start. I would write out just the treble melody, but slow it down (as everyone else is suggesting) and then add bass intervals and bass walks (one or two notes in between the melody notes). You should try software like GuitarPro, if you don't already have it, to write your guitar music.

[foxo]

Thank you all very much for your advice. I've taken it on board and have come up with a second composition using much the same chords. I think it's an improvement - I hope you do too.

[islandguitar]

Hi Neil......thanks for sending this through.....I like this one much better! Putting a metronome on this song will help you stay with the beat as I feel it's a bit off in places and affects how it moves along.

Derek is really the most experienced (IMO) of all of us who compose instrumentals here and his words are always going to be important for what you are working on.

One of thing about instrumentals is that there's no place (or very little) to hide! In carrying a melody and other portions of a piece, each string may be an all important ingredient in what you are putting forth. In your piece I can hear areas where your playing misses strings that would contribute to the feel and melody you are seeking. More practice will help for sure.

In my own case, I might work on something weeks or months ahead of recording for folks to hear. Seriously! But that's just me and my process, of course.
The original tune in my signature right now might be helpful to think through. It was inspired by Lavender growing in our garden with hundreds of bees swarming around getting their "fill". As they jumped off one to the next flower the idea came to create the little pull offs in the song to represent their darting around.
The first A section starts off....then repeats with a little more complicated riff.....and then the B section pauses to pick up with a change in picking and melody. This builds to a climax of sorts.....going up the fret board and then down to the first position. In this section there is one area which is intentionally leads to a major chord (1:27).....I like to change things up to hold the interest of the listener if I can. Another at 2:15-16 which is more minor. Folks remark about some small surprises in my tunes with this and it's appreciated.
The final sections work off the original but with changes to bring the listener along.....but also ends with the familiar "pull offs" which were found in the first section so things come full circle.
I've found that when repeating phrases and such, "3" is optimal and rarely more. This helps things move along and doesn't drone.....but also it seems the ear "likes" this kind of pattern from what I can tell. Here again, the pull offs are in a series of three and that's by design as it bring the listener back to tying the first section together with the ending.
Hope this helps with thoughts on my process......for whatever it's worth. I think a good length to shoot for might range in the area of 2 to 3 minutes start to finish....certainly exceptions to this found everywhere!
Good luck with continuing this pathway.....fun to work through!

[foxo]

Originally Posted by islandguitar

Hi Neil......thanks for sending this through.....I like this one much better! Putting a metronome on this song will help you stay with the beat as I feel it's a bit off in places and affects how it moves along.

Derek is really the most experienced (IMO) of all of us who compose instrumentals here and his words are always going to be important for what you are working on.

One of thing about instrumentals is that there's no place (or very little) to hide! In carrying a melody and other portions of a piece, each string may be an all important ingredient in what you are putting forth. In your piece I can hear areas where your playing misses strings that would contribute to the feel and melody you are seeking. More practice will help for sure.

In my own case, I might work on something weeks or months ahead of recording for folks to hear. Seriously! But that's just me and my process, of course.
The original tune in my signature right now might be helpful to think through. It was inspired by Lavender growing in our garden with hundreds of bees swarming around getting their "fill". As they jumped off one to the next flower the idea came to create the little pull offs in the song to represent their darting around.
The first A section starts off....then repeats with a little more complicated riff.....and then the B section pauses to pick up with a change in picking and melody. This builds to a climax of sorts.....going up the fret board and then down to the first position. In this section there is one area which is intentionally leads to a major chord (1:27).....I like to change things up to hold the interest of the listener if I can. Another at 2:15-16 which is more minor. Folks remark about some small surprises in my tunes with this and it's appreciated.
The final sections work off the original but with changes to bring the listener along.....but also ends with the familiar "pull offs" which were found in the first section so things come full circle.
I've found that when repeating phrases and such, "3" is optimal and rarely more. This helps things move along and doesn't drone.....but also it seems the ear "likes" this kind of pattern from what I can tell. Here again, the pull offs are in a series of three and that's by design as it bring the listener back to tying the first section together with the ending.
Hope this helps with thoughts on my process......for whatever it's worth. I think a good length to shoot for might range in the area of 2 to 3 minutes start to finish....certainly exceptions to this found everywhere!
Good luck with continuing this pathway.....fun to work through!

Thanks very much for your help and advice island.

[Aimelie]

Originally Posted by foxo

Thank you all very much for your advice. I've taken it on board and have come up with a second composition using much the same chords. I think it's an improvement - I hope you do too.

That is an improvement, Neil. Definitely.

I’m looking forward to seeing what else you can come up with after working to incorporate all the good advice given here.

Thanks for sharing!

[foxo]

Originally Posted by Aimelie

That is an improvement, Neil. Definitely.

I’m looking forward to seeing what else you can come up with after working to incorporate all the good advice given here.

Thanks for sharing!

Thanks very much Aimelie, glad you feel my second attempt came out better.

[Coler]

Hi Neil. Fair play to you for taking this step. I would not be equipped to make any real comments over the excellent advice already given.

Just as a wee aside, I think it is key to hear the melody in your head, and bring that forward and make it meaningful
The accompaniment is to compliment it.

[Bern]

As mentioned before, slow down ! Also, listen your recording and determine how you want to phase your musical idea...where are the soft parts and where you want the more dynamic parts. Keep it up, you're on your way.

[foxo]

Originally Posted by Bern

As mentioned before, slow down ! Also, listen your recording and determine how you want to phase your musical idea...where are the soft parts and where you want the more dynamic parts. Keep it up, you're on your way.

Thanks Bern for the advice.

[ReneAsologuitar]

Hi foxo,
I agree with rick-slo.
And congratulations with your first recording/composition.
Keep on playing.
Rene