The AGF Songwriting Club

[Mbroady]

Originally Posted by foxo

Thanks to all those who have shown interest - I'm really looking forward to your contributions.

Last night as I was drifting off to sleep a chorus entered my head - "let the sea carry me home". I quickly recorded it on my iPhone before going to sleep then tonight started working on the song. I'm pleased to say I wrote it very quickly, in about fifteen minutes, and I think it's finished. I hope you enjoy and please do leave your comments and feedback.

This was recorded on my Zoom H2N as I had to lend my audio interface to a friend - will post a better quality recording soon.



Let The Sea Carry Me Home

It’s been oh so long since I’ve set foot on land
I’m tired and sick to the bone
The sun beats upon me as I row and row
Let the sea carry me home

Let the sea carry me home
Let the sea carry me home
I’m miles and miles away from the shore
Let the sea carry me home

The seagulls like angels encircle my boat
And sing like a siren all day
The sky and my compass are all that I have
To guide me on my way

Let the sea carry me home
Let the sea carry me home
I’m miles and miles away from the shore
Let the sea carry me home

When I die please scatter my ashes on the sand
And let the sea swallow me
I’ll travel the four corners of the globe
And see all there is to see

Let the sea carry me home
Let the sea carry me home
I’m miles and miles away from the shore
Let the sea carry me home

FWIW
Catchy melody and the words sing well.
If I were to get pernickety, my one suggestion would be in the first line, ……. “oh so long”

I think It sings well but I would like something that gives the listener a better sense of the passage of time. But cool song with a a traditional sea shanty vibe to it

We had a major storm passed through with loads of lightning and thunder. My internet has been down for a few days. Once it’s up and running I will post a work in progress. . Hope others join in.

[Marshall]

Originally Posted by foxo

Let The Sea Carry Me Home

It’s been oh so long since I’ve set foot on land
I’m tired and sick to the bone
The sun beats upon me as I row and row
Let the sea carry me home

Let the sea carry me home
Let the sea carry me home
I’m miles and miles away from the shore
Let the sea carry me home

The seagulls like angels encircle my boat
And sing like a siren all day
The sky and my compass are all that I have
To guide me on my way

Let the sea carry me home
Let the sea carry me home
I’m miles and miles away from the shore
Let the sea carry me home

When I die please scatter my ashes on the sand
And let the sea swallow me
I’ll travel the four corners of the globe
And see all there is to see

Let the sea carry me home
Let the sea carry me home
I’m miles and miles away from the shore
Let the sea carry me home

Nice. My only comment is I'd like to know more about the protagonist. Who is he? How'd he get on a row boat in the sea? What put him there? Why's he been away so long? - That's just me talking. Take it or leave it. I just like to see some "development" in a story. Some foundation? Some raison d'etre.

But quite nice.

[Scuzzo]

Deleted post

[Marshall]

The idea of a songwriting prompt is to "prompt" us to write something new.

That being said, "The Sea" is not getting me, being a Midwesterner. Plus a local venue I really like is requesting local songwriter people to write a song about the locale. A contest with "prizes. And it needs to be done by 8/27, so I've been working on that one. I think I have something now. But I've got to iron out the wrinkles before I make a recording next week some time. I'll post it here for yucks, but it will not be seaworthy.

[Mbroady]

Duplicate post

[Mbroady]

Originally Posted by Marshall

The idea of a songwriting prompt is to "prompt" us to write something new.

That being said, "The Sea" is not getting me, being a Midwesterner. Plus a local venue I really like is requesting local songwriter people to write a song about the locale. A contest with "prizes. And it needs to be done by 8/27, so I've been working on that one. I think I have something now. But I've got to iron out the wrinkles before I make a recording next week some time. I'll post it here for yucks, but it will not be seaworthy.

I love the idea of a prompt. It forces me to explore a part of existence that might be outside of my wheelhouse. But more importantly, (as you state) it starts the song writing process. 9 times out of 10 a song started from a prompt we'll go off on a tangent and wind up having nothing to do with the prompt.

[Mbroady]

Finally got my internet back

Here’s a rough draft that takes a slight tangent from the prompt. I’m lyrically struggling with it but I won’t go into the issues I have with it, for I don’t want to bias anyone (shut up and play the song )

I will say that I need to rework the arch of the melody for a better lead into the chorus, and as of yet there is no bridge (not sure where to go with it), so after the second chorus the guitar drones on.

Look forward to any and all critiques

Wherever I Go There I Am

Think I’ll take the long way home
And drive on up the coast
Through the outer banks
Where wild horses use to roam
Where Calico kid and Captain jack
Jolly-Rodgered on the sea
And 2 brothers built an air-o-plane
And flew into history
ch
I came through here long ago
When I was a younger man
Moving/traveling at the speed of thought
Kicking up the sand
before I knew wherever I go
There I am

I’m At the prancing pony
Gonna Got a room here for a while
Give now and then the time/chance they need
to reconcile……
All the memories I never gave My-
Self the chance to make
And Live before tomorrow turns
Into yesterday for today

[Slothead56]

This isn’t new but fits the criteria. Wrote it many years ago for my Dad and my sons.

My Love of the Sea

When I was a young boy we’d take to the ocean
East of Egg Harbor my father and me.
To fish the deep waters, the wrecks and the canyons,
And that was the start of my love of the sea.

Up before dawn to sail on the new tide,
Back to the docks as the sun starts to fade.
Knowing tomorrow’s another adventure,
Tired and tanned from a day without shade.

Chorus:

And I sometimes believe, those were the best days that I’ll ever see.
I was feeling so free.
Daddy and I and the South Jersey sky, just we three,
Fishing the shoals and loving the sea.


A child turns to teens and the teens into twenties,
The course that we chart is the one that we choose.
And much like the sand that we grasp in our fingers
The tighter we hold it, the more that we lose.

Chorus:

And I sometimes believe, I’ve spent my best days in some fantasy.
A strange legacy
Guided by fate ‘cause I can’t navigate past the reefs
That always betray my love of the sea.

Break:

And I still recall
my Father’s words as we outran a squall:
"Any sailor can take the till
When the wind is calm and the seas are still."


I now walk the beaches and stare at the ocean,
Horizons of truth as yet unrevealed.
Forever my Father will live in my memory,
Standing beside me his hands at the wheel.

Thirty years on now, and I have my own son.
He smiles and the future seems clearer to me.
Someday I’m hoping to take him out sailing
Where he’ll learn to live with a love of the sea.

Chorus:

And I sometimes believe, today is the best day that I’ll ever see
'Cause I’ve finally been freed.
I've burned all my charts, gonna’ steer by the stars to my lee,
As I sing my song of love to the sea.

[Mbroady]

Originally Posted by Slothead56

This isn’t new but fits the criteria. Wrote it many years ago for my Dad and my sons.

My Love of the Sea

When I was a young boy we’d take to the ocean
East of Egg Harbor my father and me.
To fish the deep waters, the wrecks and the canyons,
And that was the start of my love of the sea.

Up before dawn to sail on the new tide,
Back to the docks as the sun starts to fade.
Knowing tomorrow’s another adventure,
Tired and tanned from a day without shade.

Chorus:

And I sometimes believe, those were the best days that I’ll ever see.
I was feeling so free.
Daddy and I and the South Jersey sky, just we three,
Fishing the shoals and loving the sea.


A child turns to teens and the teens into twenties,
The course that we chart is the one that we choose.
And much like the sand that we grasp in our fingers
The tighter we hold it, the more that we lose.

Chorus:

And I sometimes believe, I’ve spent my best days in some fantasy.
A strange legacy
Guided by fate ‘cause I can’t navigate past the reefs
That always betray my love of the sea.

Break:

And I still recall
my Father’s words as we outran a squall:
"Any sailor can take the till
When the wind is calm and the seas are still."


I now walk the beaches and stare at the ocean,
Horizons of truth as yet unrevealed.
Forever my Father will live in my memory,
Standing beside me his hands at the wheel.

Thirty years on now, and I have my own son.
He smiles and the future seems clearer to me.
Someday I’m hoping to take him out sailing
Where he’ll learn to live with a love of the sea.

Chorus:

And I sometimes believe, today is the best day that I’ll ever see
'Cause I’ve finally been freed.
I've burned all my charts, gonna’ steer by the stars to my lee,
As I sing my song of love to the sea.

Well written. I Like the whole vibe of it. Reminds me of my youth with my dad.
Do you have a melody/music.Anything recorded.

My 2 cents. With inflation thats worth 1 cent

“To fish the deep waters, the wrecks and the canyons,”
How about adding an adjective to these words, ones that would give more of a visual ……. Blue waters instead of deep, Coral coated shipwrecks,

Of course it would mess with the prosody, if you already have a melody. But you can leave out canyons if room is needed

“Up before dawn to sail on the new tide”
“New” to me is redundant since you already say “dawn”

Of course this is one person’s opinion, And you know what they say about opinions….

[foxo]

Originally Posted by Mbroady

Finally got my internet back

Here’s a rough draft that takes a slight tangent from the prompt. I’m lyrically struggling with it but I won’t go into the issues I have with it, for I don’t want to bias anyone (shut up and play the song )

I will say that I need to rework the arch of the melody for a better lead into the chorus, and as of yet there is no bridge (not sure where to go with it), so after the second chorus the guitar drones on.

Look forward to any and all critiques

Wherever I Go There I Am

Think I’ll take the long way home
And drive on up the coast
Through the outer banks
Where wild horses use to roam
Where Calico kid and Captain jack
Jolly-Rodgered on the sea
And 2 brothers built an air-o-plane
And flew into history
ch
I came through here long ago
When I was a younger man
Moving/traveling at the speed of thought
Kicking up the sand
before I knew wherever I go
There I am

I’m At the prancing pony
Gonna Got a room here for a while
Give now and then the time/chance they need
to reconcile……
All the memories I never gave My-
Self the chance to make
And Live before tomorrow turns
Into yesterday for today

I’m surprised you don’t like your voice, I think it is very pleasant and comes across as natural. I like the song and the vocal melody. Good imagery. Well done.

[SprintBob]

Originally Posted by Mbroady

Finally got my internet back

Here’s a rough draft that takes a slight tangent from the prompt. I’m lyrically struggling with it but I won’t go into the issues I have with it, for I don’t want to bias anyone (shut up and play the song )

I will say that I need to rework the arch of the melody for a better lead into the chorus, and as of yet there is no bridge (not sure where to go with it), so after the second chorus the guitar drones on.

Look forward to any and all critiques

Wherever I Go There I Am

Think I’ll take the long way home
And drive on up the coast
Through the outer banks
Where wild horses use to roam
Where Calico kid and Captain jack
Jolly-Rodgered on the sea
And 2 brothers built an air-o-plane
And flew into history
ch
I came through here long ago
When I was a younger man
Moving/traveling at the speed of thought
Kicking up the sand
before I knew wherever I go
There I am

I’m At the prancing pony
Gonna Got a room here for a while
Give now and then the time/chance they need
to reconcile……
All the memories I never gave My-
Self the chance to make
And Live before tomorrow turns
Into yesterday for today

Nice, I liked it a lot.

[gstring]

I Rush To You.m4a

[Mbroady]

Originally Posted by foxo

I’m surprised you don’t like your voice, I think it is very pleasant and comes across as natural. I like the song and the vocal melody. Good imagery. Well done.

Thanks. Prompts are great motivation for getting me off my bum, even if the song winds going in another direction.

I got a love-hate relationship with me voice. It’s a grass is greener situation, but I’m (almost) at the point where I’m ok with it. I hear it’s common for singers to have this kind of relationship with their voice, especially when they start recording.

Originally Posted by SprintBob

Nice, I liked it a lot.

Thanks. I’ll come back to it in a few weeks to work on a bridge

[Marshall]

Originally Posted by Slothead56

This isn’t new but fits the criteria. Wrote it many years ago for my Dad and my sons.

My Love of the Sea

Great lyric.

[Marshall]

OK. I didn't do the "Sea" as I said. But I did write a song for a local venue's Songwriter Contest. Entries are due this Saturday. The "prompt" for that was to write a song about the NW suburban area of Chicago where the venue resides. So, I came up with this. Here's a kitchen recorded video of it.



Lyrics are:

Let’s go for a walk down to Vail Avenue
I hear music in the park.
Meet up with some friends. Find a good park bench
Listen to the Summer sounds
Me and you.

No cars are allowed. Just a happy crowd
On a sunny afternoon
Find a nice café. While away the day
Have some wine and good food
Me and you.

Sun on your face, brightens up my day
Gentle touch of your perfume
Breeze in your hair, Laughter in the air.
Nothing I would rather do
Than be with you
 

When the sun goes down, they light up the town.
Like a fairytale come true
Buy an ice cream cone, before heading home
Whistling a happy tune
Me and you

Stars in your eyes. Brighten up the night
Gentle touch of your perfume
Moonlit hair. Laughter in the air
Nothing I would rather do
Than be with you

Me and you.