How can I locate old friends?

[buddyhu]

My 50th high school reunion is happening next year, and it is far away from where I live now. Not sure I would go, but given the COVID19 situation, it seems VERY unlikely that I would attend. At this point, I only have contact with one friend from high school, but have found myself wanting to make connection with maybe a half dozen people from that time in my life, just to satisfy some curiosity (I saw a couple of these folks at my 25th reunion).

How does one find old friends these days? I'm sure that some (many) still live in my old home town, but you can't just pick up the phone and dial for "information" anymore. I've done some Google searches, and searches on Facebook, but haven't found anything that is useful. And I don't really want to pay money for one of those creepy online "background checks" or "person profiles".

Any ideas?

[AX17609]

Your HS reunion coordinator has all the information you need. My 50th HS reunion was a couple of years ago. We all got emails about it. Every email had the email addresses of everyone in the class. I have no idea how they assembled the list, but they did it.

[619TF]

The best information always costs something. Funny you describe them as "creepy" online searches when you're looking to find people you haven't been in touch with in 50 years. As someone who has intentionally avoided contact with most of my HS "friends" I'd say that searching them out seems creepy right there. Whether it's online or an in person Private Investigator, unless you get in touch with whomever assembled the reunion list you're going to pay for any reliable info. Good luck!

[blackie51]

Hi Buddy,

I was one of three 50th reunion coordinators for my reunion last summer, with lots of jobs including finding people. I started searching for people in August the year before and by February, there were still some I couldn't find. In addition, I found that approx. 20% of my classmates had died. And we did it without paying for any of those personal information sites.

Here's how we searched:

Posts on all social media sites - Facebook, Twitter, etc.

Post on your high school website.

We used people search engines such as "fastpeoplesearch", mylife, Classmates, etc. - this is how we found a good percentage of them.

When we couldn't find the classmates, we searched for their relatives - parents, brothers, sisters, friends, etc. to get the word to them.

We sent snail-mail to those who we could find a street address for, emails to those we found digital addresses for, phone calls to those we could find phone numbers for. Basically, we did everything we could think of to make sure that each of our classmates were at least made aware of the reunion - we didn't want anybody to say they didn't know about it.

It was a massively time consuming process and, in the end, there were still some people we couldn't find after almost a year of looking.

Good luck with your search.

And try to remember that you may have the same kind of problem we had: some people, even if you do find them, actually don't want to be found.

Tom

[Dru Edwards]

You never mentioned if you checked LinkedIn.

You said you tried Google search. Did you also try Google search for Images? You might see a pic which could lead you to that person.

[JCave]

Attended my 40th a few years ago. I searched for any that I cared about finding most. One of those old friends is now my insurance agent, a man I know and trust... Schools usually have news letters etc with contact names for reunions. Google worked great, I didn't use FB at the time. Lots of ways...

[Jim Owen]

Rich,
Linked in might help. There is a pay site called classmates.com that I registered for decades ago when it was free.

Good luck. I was in the UK when my 40th occurred, but the alumni folk tracked me somehow. My 50th ain’t far off.

[Inyo]

Try TruePeopleSearch over at TruePeopleSearch; https://www.truepeoplesearch.com/ .

It's free. It works, for US-based folks. I've tested it. It came back with 100 percent accurate results 100 percent of the time on the numerous folks whose addresses I already knew. It's a good starting point, anyhow.

Standard disclaimer applies: I did not invent TruePeopleSearch, and I am in no way affiliated with TruePeopleSearch; neither is any family member, friend, acquaintance, or associate affiliated with TruePeopleSearch; let's put it this way, too--nobody I know works with or is associated with TruePeopleSearch.

[619TF]

Originally Posted by Inyo

Try TruePeopleSearch over at TruePeopleSearch; https://www.truepeoplesearch.com/ .

It's free. It works, for US-based folks.

Standard disclaimer applies: I did not invent TruePeopleSearch, and I am in no way affiliated with TruePeopleSearch; neither is any family member, friend, acquaintance, or associate affiliated with TruePeopleSearch; let's put it this way, too--nobody I know works with or is associated with TruePeopleSearch.

Just for fun I put my own name in there and it shows an address in another State where I was about 15 years ago as my "current address". Nothing in the State where I currently reside (same address for the past 7 years and in this State for almost 15). Pretty funny. I guess you get what you pay for.

That also tells me my minimal online footprint actually is probably working pretty well too. (You wouldn't find me via any of the searches suggested above like LinkedIn, Faceplant, etc etc).

[Inyo]

Originally Posted by 619TF

Just for fun I put my own name in there and it shows an address in another State where I was about 15 years ago as my "current address". Nothing in the State where I currently reside (same address for the past 7 years and in this State for almost 15). Pretty funny. I guess you get what you pay for.

That also tells me my minimal online footprint actually is probably working pretty well too. (You wouldn't find me via any of the searches suggested above like LinkedIn, Faceplant, etc etc).

Pretty funny. Surely the poster anticipated that I would have already tested the site (TruePeopleSearch) before posting about it. The results came back 100 percent accurate on the numerous folks whose addresses I already knew. Confidence level is high that free TruePeopleSearch provides a decently reliable expectation of locating a correct address. Can't hurt to give a try, for starters anyhow.

Pretty funny: Note that the poster's personal example is an exception that proves the rule.

Observe, please, that TruePeopleSearch actually found the poster's correct address from 15 years ago--before (as implied) he deliberately began to minimize his "online footprint"--when by the poster's own testimony no other people search engine would have been able to find him from that long ago (of course, based on that older address information, a researcher could inevitably locate the poster's present address).

Ergo, if the site is able to find an address for such an obvious exception to the popular present trend of prevalent online presence, then a general rule of thumb is that for a free people search engine, TruePeopleSearch can be remarkably reliable.

[ahorsewithnonam]

Facebook should be your starting point.

[buddyhu]

Originally Posted by blackie51

Hi Buddy,

I was one of three 50th reunion coordinators for my reunion last summer, with lots of jobs including finding people. I started searching for people in August the year before and by February, there were still some I couldn't find. In addition, I found that approx. 20% of my classmates had died. And we did it without paying for any of those personal information sites.

Here's how we searched:

Posts on all social media sites - Facebook, Twitter, etc.

Post on your high school website.

We used people search engines such as "fastpeoplesearch", mylife, Classmates, etc. - this is how we found a good percentage of them.

When we couldn't find the classmates, we searched for their relatives - parents, brothers, sisters, friends, etc. to get the word to them.

We sent snail-mail to those who we could find a street address for, emails to those we found digital addresses for, phone calls to those we could find phone numbers for. Basically, we did everything we could think of to make sure that each of our classmates were at least made aware of the reunion - we didn't want anybody to say they didn't know about it.

It was a massively time consuming process and, in the end, there were still some people we couldn't find after almost a year of looking.

Good luck with your search.

And try to remember that you may have the same kind of problem we had: some people, even if you do find them, actually don't want to be found.

Tom

Thanks for this...lots of good info here. And thanks to everyone else who have added some possibilities.

The “creepy”sites (IMO) are the ones that want to sell you all kinds of info about arrests, convictions, lawsuits, financial problems, etc. I have no use for such info, and have no desire to violate others’ privacy. Just want an address or phone number or email address to send an inquiry to former friends and see if that opens anything up.

Yes...I know that some don’t want to be found, or wouldn’t want to spend time responding to a letter or email from someone that they haven’t heard from for decades. But sometimes the contacts are enjoyable.

I spent time with a good friend from high school on the weekend of our 25th reunion, and then we had no contact for 15 years until he called me to tell me his high school sweetheart had died. And then we had no contact until earlier this year, when he sent me (via Facebook) some old photos of our high school days...which led to us having an hour and a half Zoom chat about two months ago. For us, these contacts been pleasant and valuable, even though we aren’t going to rekindle any significant friendship.

And A few years ago, I started a nice reconnection with a girlfriend from the early 80’s (no contact since we broke up)....we’ve talked three times in the last 5 years...LOTS of fun! I’ve chosen some really interesting, good hearted gals to spend time with...even if they weren’t lifelong partners for me.

I am OK weathering some rejections and non-responses in hopes of having a few more such experiences.

Thanks again for all the ideas/leads.

[H165]

I attended two high schools, and for thirty five years I was on the reunion committee of both. I was recruited, specifically to find people, for three reasons.

1. I was fairly friendly with everyone in the classes

2. I have a quirky and detailed long-term memory, and

3. (most important) I worked for a utility. EVERYBODY uses utilities at some point in their lives, and back then historical records were kept forever. I quit doing it because about 20 years ago the general perception of these types of searches morphed from "harmless" to "possibly invasive".

It appears that I am not the only one who has learned the hard way:

some people, even if you do find them, actually don't want to be found.

Some old boyfriends and girlfriends are elated to be able to reminisce and share a few smiles; but I can tell you that others are out there waiting..... with lawyers, unsupported kids, alimony defaults, broken hearts, etc., etc., etc.

[tinnitus]

I recently found a few people I knew 35 years ago in the military by searching for their names that way, no facebooks or anything. Might be worth a shot if you know someone served after school, and maybe their branch and/or base location.

Good luck with your quest. The fact that you're above ground to search means you're doing way better than a LOT of your classmates. You'll be surprised.

[Wade Hampton]

Originally Posted by tinnitus

Good luck with your quest. The fact that you're above ground to search means you're doing way better than a LOT of your classmates. You'll be surprised.

Yeah, a couple of years ago I was visiting Kansas City and had dinner with a couple of friends that I’d gone to elementary school with. We told each other what we knew about some of the other classmates that we could remember, and a surprising number of them had died - a few from cancer, which you’d expect, but one guy from complications of Lyme Disease, one from AIDS, and one guy of a heroin overdose back when we were all still in our early twenties.

Opioid abuse was not at all common among us back then, but that particular guy was never very bright, sad to say.

Short version: drug OD’s aside, once you get past your early 50’s, the death toll can become startlingly high from natural causes alone.


whm