Retirement after the Hero's Journey

[Glennwillow]

https://www.theatlantic.com/family/a...rement/611194/

There have been some discussions here in OPEN MIC on the AGF where people have discussed retirement. It seems that most members here are happy in retirement, but a few have not been. For me, adjusting to retirement has taken me a good five years. I had to find a way (by working part time) to ease into retirement.

The above article from The Atlantic, I think is interesting and might make for a good discussion.

- Glenn

[ssjk]

Great article. This line about summarizes most of the threads on this subject:

"Unless you keel over in the prime of life, your victories will fade, your skills will decline, and life’s problems will intrude."

Yup. Whether/how long that makes you miserable is the question.

[Acousticado]

From birth, the majority of us are blueprinted to get educated to be able to get a good job/career to hopefully become prosperous despite any number of potential pitfalls along the way. Apart from perhaps having the basic understanding and ability to sock away money for retirement, there is little consideration given to the actual living years in retirement. Most are just too busy. Then you arrive there.

As suggested in the article, the hero’s journey is great as long as you don’t see it stopping when your work-a-day life is over, that you don’t define yourself by your career, and perceive the entirety of your life while on the top side of the ground as one continuum.

My wife and I are fortunate to have enjoyed successful, professional careers allowing us to retire almost 10 years ago at age 56. Never once have we missed it, we’re always looking forward. About 5 years before retiring in early 2012, we began considering what we would want to do during our retirement years, so we travelled a bit and dabbled in a number of activities to see what would stick. We’ve since been wintering in SW Florida at a 55+ community and have been relatively active in our community including volunteering, so we’ve gotten to know a good number of people.

Here’s the thing...we can count on one hand, the number of times anyone has asked us about what we did during our past working lives. Virtually everyone talks about what they are, or will be doing...and that’s been wonderful and inspiring.

[Carmel Cedar]

Excellent article, Glenn. Two years ago I did the transition from full time, big company employment to semi-retirement (consulting). It's only this past summer that I'm feeling fully comfortable in my own skin as a part time working person, and full time (and now fully present) husband and father. Today, I could not be happier. Over time I'll wind down the work part and transition into full retirement.

It took a while to get used to slimmer financial means, but I've come to realize that's not a bad thing. We have enough to live on, and compared to most people on this planet, we're beyond fortunate.

The transition is a journey, and as you and the article point out, not many of us are as prepared for it as we think. But in our own ways, we figure it out. As Tom suggests above, it's very cool to be accepted for who I am vs the job or title that I had!

[srick]

Interesting timing on your post Glenn. Today is exactly six months since I retired. I understand the hero’s journey, but in my life, there have been a whole bunch of achievements that have brought me to where I am today, not one overarching plot line. I’m not addicted to achievement goals, nor the adulation or recognition that may come with them… though they were awfully nice to receive at the time.

Even though during my working life I was very active in the community and well known, I don’t mind being an introvert. The other day, I painted the basement stairs. This job required a lot of planning (there is no hatchway) and care to complete. I had a wonderful sense of accomplishment when it was done; they look great. My point here, is that the journey can be an inward one. Similarly, when we conquer a tricky musical passage, etc., there is a wonderful sense of accomplishment.

The article was good, but very male oriented. It’s often said that as men, we evaluate our status by our accomplishments and possessions, whereas women focus on the quality of their relationships (a generalization, of course).

The last six months have been a joy for me. I do not miss my dental practice and the stress that came with running a small business at all. And as it turns about, there were plenty of family issues that needed my full attention and time (funny how that works). The last six months have provided a lot of time to catch up.

The nice awards are sitting on the shelf in my office space, but I don’t look at them much. They’re history - a nice history at that, but it’s time to look forward, not backward. And I don’t look forward with fear of what’s to come, but with an attitude of acceptance and a strong desire to endure.

Best,

Rick

[Glennwillow]

Thanks for the comments so far. I'm glad you all found the article interesting.

As far as the "Hero's Journey," maybe only a few of us truly identify with that analogy. For me, I really did live that analogy where I came into a tiny, backward company, saw it's future, and then over four decades managed to implement that future in spite of resistance from the family owners. With the help of a lot of other key people in the company and eventual major backing from the family, I managed to turn the company into a 50 times larger company with worldwide impact.

Every day was an adventure and I built an engineering group that was a very tight-knit, super competent group of people. I miss that sense of comradery, that sense of accomplishment, the intellectual simulation, and that excitement.

While it took me about five years to adjust to retirement, I'm fine now. Sometimes I feel like I am ready for another adventure, but aside from starting a YouTube channel, I haven't come up with whatever that is.

- Glenn

[buddyhu]

Interesting article. Thanks Glenn.

I was given a different model early in my career, one that posited a cycle that lasts about 6-10 year, and then repeats. There is a period where one is in a dark, fallow experience without a clear vision or goal. You can liken it to putting dough in a warm dark place to allow the yeast to work its magic. Then a bague sense of a goal or vision or purpose arises from that darkness, and begins to inspire action. And then as movement through the cycle continues, the vision or purpose becomes more clear and defined, and one feels inspired and excited and energized to actualize the vision. Then one achieves the goal and enjoys that for a while, and explores variations within that vision, until a change (perhaps internal, such as a shift to a different phase of life, perhaps external, such as a changing business environment or the end of an important relationship) triggers a sense of restlessness, of no longer feeling contented, or of “been there, done that”. Feelings that accompany this next part of the cycle, the “declining action” can include disappointment, disillusionment, a feeling of depression or loss, etc. Then one returns to the dakness of the fallow period, where there might be some withdrawal from others, and there may be a sense of letting go and of surrender, until the next goal,of vision arises.

This model has given more punctuation to my view of my life and development, and it has made it easier to tolerate the transition from valued professional to another ant in the ant farm. And it fosters a sense that another goal or vision is always just a few years away….which is very supportive when one feels lost or less valuable than when one was working and “moving up the ladder” financially and socially (not everyone has such an experience, of course, but many feel that the years of productivity and material accumulation supports a sense of succeeding and of making progress, and they like that).

[Teleplucker]

Thanks for posting this Glenn. Retirement from my corporate job is coming up quick. I have a house full of nice guitars and a pretty clear understanding of what goals I want to try to reach as a musician. I've really wanted to be a musician since I was 12 but at some point I realized what was required to do that.There were several local guitar heroes in my town that were fantastic musicians but struggled to pay their rent every month. I came from a very poor family, I just could not convince myself to make the sacrifice to try to make it as a musician.

I can't say that I achieved a comparable level of success in my career that you describe but I was fortunate enough to work in a challenging and interesting IT field. When I started as a technician the company was upgrading the Telecom circuits from 2400 bps to 9600 bps. Now we have 40 Gbps circuits. Our company was on the "bleeding edge" of many IT changes. I think I played an important role in a lot of those changes. However I'm ready to say good bye to all that and start the next phase of life. Adventure before Dementia is my new phrase to live by.

[BrunoBlack]

Very interesting article. While I recognize the theme, my variation has been similar yet different (of course) It’s been fulfilling and retirement has been a pretty balanced experience.

I consider my career to be very successful. I have been presented with lucky opportunities and was prepared to take advantage of good luck when presented. As a result my professional career placed me as a leader responsible for several people, then dozens, then many hundreds - and eventually thousands of individuals. It was my job to find answers, solve problems and develop strategy. It was a 24/7 deal. I enjoyed my career, but frankly, the time came when I said — enough.

When I was preparing for retirement I was concerned about what I would do. My entire life had been focused on my work experience, especially the last 15-20 years. Don’t get me wrong, I have a great wife, family and friendship experiences, but my work experience dominated. I took a clinical approach to retirement.

I gave a lot of thought about things I loved to do, things I found pleasant, things I considered dutyful, and things I simply hated to do. Then I constructed a list and placed these things in categories. I added one more category — new things I wanted to explore.

The funny thing is the things I loved to do were simple things like play guitar, hike with my dog, read, travel with my wife, volunteer at the survival center, etc. and they all took time, so my days were easily complete. Oh yeah, add naps to the list! I was able to abandon goals and maintain balance. I see my life as enjoyable and complete simply doing things I enjoy. As a result I’ve had a good 6 years of retirement. There was a period of adjustment not being at the center of big things. But then I realized that big things were not that important in the grand scheme of things any longer.

Thanks for posting Glenn.

[Gdjjr]

When I was younger and retirement came to mind, I didn't give it a lot of thought. My whole life was like that. In reflection, at times, I likened my life as that of a pin ball- bouncing around scoring with whatever came up and calling it a success.

In my mid to late 40's I started paying attention and noticed how many men I worked with defined their lives, or had them defined for them, by what they did to earn a living- I decided I wouldn't be defined by that. My mother had told me, when I was a kid, I could do anything I wanted to- yet she never defined anything- I determined that what I did away from earning a living is what would define me. I would determine my success- not society or its proclivities of materialism-

A few months ago, I wrote a song, Somethin More Than a Memory You Left Behind- it was inspired by a conversation on another message board, when someone, (it may have been me, I honestly don't remember) said something about memories- I also wrote a parody rebuttal to Don't Let The Old Man In, titled, Let The Old Man In- there are several applicable to this thread lines- the most notable; all the stuff left behind won't matter anyway, what really counts is, backin up what you say- play the hand you were dealt, forget what their rules say, you know you win, when, you live life your own way-

I determined what my success is and has been, I back up what I say- I helped raise two pretty decent men- I devoted most of my adult life to that task- still do, and will continue to until I'm pushing up Daisies- "I" will survive- "I" will be around long after the latest fad is gone, after the group has changed its direction or uniform - I live that.

Retiring has allowed me to put my many thoughts into words and act on them- I am in full control of my mental faculties, because I use them just as I have been doing- "I" choose- not a society, what "I" do and think- it's also brought me kind of full circle- I've always enjoyed music- now, I try to play it-

I got my first guitar, when I was 14, now I'm over 70 and still wearing jeans

[catdaddy]

I guess I never subscribed to the Hero myth as my personal vision. I never viewed life as a mountain to climb where I plant my flag at the summit, survey my kingdom and count my accomplishments as if they were jewels that I carried with me in my pockets.

Reading the article does make me wonder whether I've found retirement to be the most rewarding time of my life as a result of cultivating an attitude that any accomplishments (or failures) in life should be taken humbly in stride and quickly relegated to the status of yesterday's news. I've always found joy in the continual anticipation of a fresh start on the clean slate of tomorrow and the conscious awareness that each new day allows me to focus anew on its unique joys and challenges.

[Gdjjr]

Originally Posted by catdaddy

I guess I never subscribed to the Hero myth as my personal vision. I never viewed life as a mountain to climb where I plant my flag at the summit, survey my kingdom and count my accomplishments as if they were jewels that I carried with me in my pockets.

Reading the article does make me wonder whether I've found retirement to be the most rewarding time of my life as a result of cultivating an attitude that any accomplishments (or failures) in life should be taken humbly in stride and quickly relegated to the status of yesterday's news. I've always found joy in the continual anticipation of a fresh start on the clean slate of tomorrow and the conscious awareness that each new day allows me to focus anew on its unique joys and challenges.

Excellent reply!

[Sage97]

Really needed this today. I have about 10-13 more years to go and starting to feel tired. Never felt that before but lately, I have been feeling the need to slow down, whatever that means. I know that sometimes, the thought of working minimum wage, cleaning and tuning guitars doesn’t sound too bad.

“Unless you keel over in the prime of life, your victories will fade, your skills will decline, and life’s problems will intrude.” What a bummer reality but I agree that “serving, loving and being a good example” are they key verbs…at any stage of our journey.

[Mr. Jelly]

That's a good articule. I knew that though as I have read my share of Carl Jung etc. I noticed years ago that a person is valued in their profession as long as they can produce. Past accomplishments only last so long. I retired young enough that I could have taken on another challange. But why? I'd been there and done that. Plus I knew that old age was not going to let me prove myself until the day I die. If I lived as long as I hoped. Add to that I have already proven myself to the only person that it really matters to, which is me. It took about eighteen months to really get into retirement. Now I consider it amazing that I get to experience this living without the push and pull of work responsibilities. It enables me to live my life more like the person I have always wanted to be without as many negative forces that work puts on a person.

[dhalbert]

The "Call to adventure / ordeal / victory" described in the linked article does not in general match the long arc of my extended career experience. It does match the shorter arcs of going to college, graduate school, and then some (but not all) projects or jobs during my work.

Many of my career experiences were on projects or products that were ultimately commercial failures or were prototypes that were shelved and not used. Four years ago, at age 60, I grew tired of this, and was wondering about retiring early. I then made a change to a new organization where I am now working on something that is highly successful, and where I have constant interaction with and feedback from a community of actual end users. The psychological difference is tremendous. If this job were to go away, I think it would be difficult to find something as motivating. I can see ramping down as I age to part-time work, but doing the same thing.

If and when I retire, I think I would now be motivated to find something else as gratifying, such as teaching or volunteering. I am not sure I would have had the same motivation to seek out such things if I had retired from an unsatisfying job. In other words, I now have a good existence proof of a community experience that is quite satisfying on a day-to-day basis.

At the same time, I want to ramp up my musical hobbies, so that I will have satisfying solitary time as well. And that could be a community experience as well, if I find the right people.