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#1
05-04-2022, 12:09 AM
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New Banjo/Guitar/Drummer/Accordian Joke Thread. I'll Start.
Question: What do you call a lead guitarist without a girlfriend?
Answer: Homeless. Question: What's the difference between a dog lying dead in the road, and a banjo player lying dead in the road? Answer: There are skid marks in front of the dog. Question: What do you call a hundred banjo players at the bottom of the sea? Answer: A good start. Last edited by Charmed Life Picks; 05-05-2022 at 02:24 PM. 
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#2
05-04-2022, 03:56 AM
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Question: How can you tell that the stage is level?
Answer: The guitarist drools out both sides of his mouth at once. Question: How can you tell the guy at your door is a guitarist? Answer: By his pizza delivery hat. Questions: What is a typical guitarist's gig? Answer: He drags $5000 worth of gear 500 miles to be paid $50. Bob
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"It is said, 'Go not to the elves for counsel for they will say both no and yes.' " Frodo Baggins to Gildor Inglorion, The Fellowship of the Ring THE MUSICIAN'S ROOM (my website)
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#3
05-04-2022, 04:38 AM
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Quote:
Answer: He can't find the key and doesn't know when to come in.
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#4
05-04-2022, 05:16 AM
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Quote:
Banjo pickers spend 50% of their time tuning their banjo and 50% playing out of tune.
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#6
05-04-2022, 10:00 AM
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How do you keep a guitar player in suspense?
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USMC RETIRED 2D Marine Division Infantry Weapons Chief 1997 Tacoma PM20 1998 Tacoma CC10 2001 Tacoma C5C 2004 Tacoma C1C 2004 Tacoma EMM30 "Forum Guitar"
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#7
05-04-2022, 10:00 AM
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Did you hear about the electric guitarist who stepped on his guitar cable and pulled it out of the jack in the middle of the song at a gig? It was me... lol.
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#8
05-04-2022, 10:03 AM
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Quote:
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Ray Gibson SJ200 Taylor Grand Symphony Taylor 514CE-NY Taylor 814CE Deluxe V-Class Guild F1512 Alvarez DY74 Snowflake ('78)
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#9
05-04-2022, 10:44 AM
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#10
05-04-2022, 10:46 AM
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“A gentleman is someone who can play the accordion, but doesn't.” -- Tom Waits
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#11
05-04-2022, 12:24 PM
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? - How long does it take to tune a banjo?
A - No one knows... (This was told to me by a piper!) ? - What's the definition of "perfect pitch"? A - When you throw the banjo into the dumpster and it bounces off the accordion and hits the bag pipes on the first try... Possibly my favorite guitar player joke: Mom asks her little boy what he wants to be when he grows up... little boy thinks for a moment, then proudly says, "When I grow up, I want to be a guitar player!" Mom says, "Oh honey, you can't do both..."
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"Home is where I hang my hat, but home is so much more than that. Home is where the ones and the things I hold dear are near... And I always find my way back home." "Home" (working title) J.S, Sherman
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#12
05-04-2022, 12:34 PM
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Drove to a bad part of town the other day. My banjo was on the back seat. Parked and came back a few hours later and sure enough the back window was smashed in. My banjo was still there - plus three more!
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#13
05-04-2022, 12:52 PM
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Bill
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#14
05-04-2022, 01:11 PM
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Daniel, there are various versions of that car/broken window joke. Gotta love it. sm
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#15
05-04-2022, 01:26 PM
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A bass player runs into a bar where the guitar player and the singer are busy setting up.
Breathless, he says "We've got a big problem! I locked my keys in the van!" "Whatever, man" says the singer, "We've got a gig to do, we'll worry about it later." "No, you don't understand" said the bassist, "the drummer is trapped inside!" Tony
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“The guitar is a wonderful thing which is understood by few.” — Franz Schubert "Alexa, where's my stuff?" - Anxiously waiting...
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