Texting or E Mailing vs. Calling

[KevWind]

I'm 68 and was a bit slow to adopt the use of texting ( started about 4 years ago) . Now I rather prefer it for many types of communication.
Something like the OP's situation a text would be my first option (provided I know the recipient uses texting, which is fairly easy to pre determine ) then next would be calling . In this instance e-mail is a questionable choice for the simple reason not everyone checks e-mail on regular basis

[1neeto]

I wonder if there were people back in the day that considered a phone call to be a degenerate form of communication and that society was going down the crapper because of it. Technology will always advance, and with that goes how we communicate as well. You can be stubborn and stay stuck in the past, that’s your choice, but you’re not special.

As for the topic at hand, your wife’s friend was rude plain and simple. Not because she used email to inform you guys, but because she did not care to make sure you guys got her message.

[Tico]

Originally Posted by RedJoker

Even with only telephone, folks were bemoaning the dearth of letter writing. I don't view it as a mess like you do, though. I view it as having more options. We all have our own perspective, of course.

Well the mess is not knowing how to reach a person because you don't know their preference.

Last night I had to communicate an important long message to 4 people.
It was too long to text, but I had to reach all 4 to further the complicated discussion.
IMO email fit the bill.
20 hours later I've gotten no response on email, so I texted them to check their email.
Still no reply, and these 4 people must make an important decision I am to act on in the next 2 hours.
Guess I could call all 3, but they need to exchange ideas.
FWIW they are in their 50s.

Using 3 technologies has its pitfalls.

Grrr.

[RedJoker]

Originally Posted by Tico

Well the mess is not knowing how to reach a person because you don't know their preference.

Last night I had to communicate an important long message to 4 people.
It was too long to text, but I had to reach all 4 to further the complicated discussion.
IMO email fit the bill.
20 hours later I've gotten no response on email, so I texted them to check their email.
Still no reply, and these 4 people must make an important decision I am to act on in the next 2 hours.
Guess I could call all 3, but they need to exchange ideas.
FWIW they are in their 50s.

Using 3 technologies has its pitfalls.

Grrr.

Yeah, that sounds aggravating. Sounds like you need a fourth technology because all three failed.

Good luck getting your info.

[Tico]

Originally Posted by RedJoker

Yeah, that sounds aggravating. Sounds like you need a fourth technology because all three failed.

Now you march straight to your room, young man!

Attachment 9961

[BrunoBlack]

I don’t know why we didn’t leave well enough alone!

[Dirk Hofman]

Originally Posted by 1neeto

I wonder if there were people back in the day that considered a phone call to be a degenerate form of communication and that society was going down the crapper because of it. Technology will always advance, and with that goes how we communicate as well. You can be stubborn and stay stuck in the past, that’s your choice, but you’re not special.

My own mother used to bemoan the change from letter writing and sought to limit our phone time. She both had a point and was tilting at windmills.

[Dirk Hofman]

Originally Posted by Tico

Well the mess is not knowing how to reach a person because you don't know their preference.

Last night I had to communicate an important long message to 4 people.
It was too long to text, but I had to reach all 4 to further the complicated discussion.
IMO email fit the bill.
20 hours later I've gotten no response on email, so I texted them to check their email.
Still no reply, and these 4 people must make an important decision I am to act on in the next 2 hours.
Guess I could call all 3, but they need to exchange ideas.
FWIW they are in their 50s.

Using 3 technologies has its pitfalls.

Grrr.

Write up a google doc and text the link to everyone. Collaborate there. Or just call them all like you would have 20 years ago. I’d go for the former and follow up with a call if I didn’t hear back

No net loss here, just more options. .

[buddyhu]

I use a text when I want to make immediate contact and my message is simple. If the communication involves emotional nuance (such as a last minute cancellation), I call. For me, email is for communication that is neither time sensitive nor particularly nuanced. Email replaces letters, in that they can be lengthy and reflective and declarative...and can be read and responded to at leisure (though it is best if a response is sent in less than 48 hours).

Your guest should have called.

[Mr. Jelly]

We all know that we are all dealing with and trying to figure out the modern forms of communication. There is no standard protocol or norm. And if there were, in these times, people would break them anyway.

[rokdog49]

Originally Posted by Tico

Well the mess is not knowing how to reach a person because you don't know their preference.

In this instance, I believe you nailed it.
My wife's friend obviously thinks that email is "the way" to communicate with us and she needs to be informed it is not.
I'm also convinced this lady did not move beyond the "email technology" into texting. My wife, while not a big fan of texting, at least checks her phone regularly whereas she rarely looks at email. That's because we have siblings, kids, grandkids etc and that's how they roll. In all honesty, nobody we know besides her friend uses email for personal communication.
Still, she should have called when things changed last minute so all you who felt this was rude, I agree.

[Bob Womack]

I realize I'm off in a corner here, but even at 61 I haven't really had a problem with technology, just with how it impacts me at my job.


I work as a recording engineer/producer in a recording studio/audio post production suite. Some days I'm working with an international music star, some days I'm working with the CEO of my company. Sometimes it is a harried producer. But I'm in a service industry. Stars/CEOs, and producers don't want their sessions interrupted unless there is blood involved, and they'd rather not waste time on my blood, frankly. We used to have a saying: "It's okay if you bleed, just don't bleed on the equipment." I carry what I call a "crash cart," a former Altoids tin stocked every over the counter medicament that might be possible to keep me in the session as long as it takes. There's lovely things like Imodium, antihistamine, Ibuprophen, antacids, etc. It can feel like preparing for extended deep sea diving.


You get the point. I can't take frivolous texts, calls, or emails at work. I have email notifications turned off. I work to see to it that I have the loneliest text account in town. In the acute silence that descends between playbacks, a robo call from my doctor's office to confirm an appointment has been known to cause me to leave an imprint on the ceiling with my had due to surprise.


There are exceptions. My wife is chronically ill. As best buddies we love to talk. However, she doesn't feel very good in the morning before work (chronic all-day every day migraines) so she prefers that we text. It is very nearly silent. I let her texts get through. Since my day died a couple of years ago my mom is alone now. At 88 years old, she loves to text, if you can believe it, so I let her's through as well.


To the OP's question, I was raised to believe that the other person's comfort is the delineator of my communication. If a friend is hosting me or is going to be affected by some change in schedule, I use the fastest, most immediate method of communication so that I minimize the inconvenience to that person. It is common courtesy. And, I use a form of communication that allow instantaneous verification that I have warned the other person. In that sort of situation I also use the most personal form of communication I can. With those parameters in play, we are obviously talking about the phone. Fast, personal, verifiable. Courtesy.


I'm afraid that mindset isn't being taught anymore. Oh, whatever.


Bob

[ahorsewithnonam]

In a situation like this I also like an email or a text because now all parties have a physical written proof of the information needed and the time that it was sent

[Murphy Slaw]

Originally Posted by 1neeto

As for the topic at hand, your wife’s friend was rude plain and simple. Not because she used email to inform you guys, but because she did not care to make sure you guys got her message.

THAT is the thing to me.

Without a response how would she know, some people turn off their iPhone's imessage thingy so you can tell if you read them, and one might be an android, whatever.

Making SURE you got the message was critical in this case.

To me.

[AX17609]

Originally Posted by Bob Womack

To the OP's question, I was raised to believe that the other person's comfort is the delineator of my communication.

I think this is the essential comment. I've had to learn everyone's favored form of communication. Some people like calls, other like email, others text, and still others prefer some form of Facebook/Instagram/Snapchat. And then there are the people who will only deal with you if you're face-to-face. Still others hide behind the username of a discussion forum. If you use the wrong form of communication for someone, they get offended. Frankly, keeping it all straight is a pain.