does your family like the kind of music you play?

shawlie · #1 09-08-2009, 12:19 PM

Not how well you play, but does your wife or husband, girl/boyfriend, kids, aunty, etc. like the style of music you tend to play? If not, does it cause friction or make you feel a little bad? Do you try and "convert" them?

I go through phases, and have played a lot of blues and ragtime-influenced blues. My wife really doesn't care for that music, at all. She does really like Mississippi John Hurt ("his songs don't bother me" as she says), but letting her listen to McTell, Fuller or Blind Blake doesn't seem to work.

Lately I've been playing more folk type things, and she'll say, "it's so nice you're playing those kinds of songs again."

It doesn't really bother her, whatever I'm playing though (she claims to have stopped listening about a year ago, so I don't feel too bad). But are there songs or styles of music that your family really wishes you wouldn't play? Do you practice in private then, or do you change your style to suit them? Does it cause problems or disscussions? Have they come to appreciate "that" type of music you play?

Kelly Grayum · #2 09-08-2009, 12:29 PM

I am a worship leader, so naturally I play a lot of praise and worship when I'm picking at home and my daughter loves to sing along. I also do quite a few coffee house gigs so I do a lot of singer/songwriter stuff that my wife really enjoys,everything from Crosby, Stills and Nash to Colby Calait. I had to laugh though the other day when I was sitting on my bed noodling and my 8yr old son walked in and asked me if I could play some Foghat! Go figure.

DaveG · #3 09-08-2009, 12:57 PM

Actually, my wife is pretty supportive. However, once I was playing something I had been working on and thought I was pretty good at and she said "You know, I really like your playing, but I really hate that song!". I haven't played that one since!

My kids, on the other hand, just pretty much ignore me.

selder1977 · #4 09-08-2009, 01:06 PM

I've just bought a Yamaha Silent Guitar.... pretty much sums it up really!!

Steve

susitna · #5 09-08-2009, 01:34 PM

My sister/roommate pretty much hates the kind of music I like to play. This is one of those limiting factors to my practice time, but it also in a backwards kind of way makes practice exciting. "She's gone now, get out the guitar!" as opposed to "eh...maybe in 15 minutes".

ljguitar · #6 09-08-2009, 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shawlie

Not how well you play, but does your wife or husband, girl/boyfriend, kids, aunty, etc. like the style of music you tend to play? If not, does it cause friction or make you feel a little bad? Do you try and "convert" them?

Hi shawlie...
My wife of 40 years loves my music and attends about three outings a year (out of about 150 I play)...

She is supportive, and a good listener, and good critic when necessary. She definitively tells me what she likes or doesn't like which helps me gauge some of my arranging since I find she has pretty normal or average tastes.

If I decide to get too far outside the box, that stuff gets played for our local Guitar Society instead of coffee house gigs or restaurants. My friends at guitar society tolerate about anything...

Neal · #7 09-08-2009, 04:29 PM

I think a general rule of "family" thumb is this:

If you're not making money/professional/semi-pro. family will pretty much ingnore your accomplishments.

I said "general" rule of thumb, your family may fawn on you.

yardism · #8 09-08-2009, 04:49 PM

My wife loves the songs I choose mostly. My boys couldn't care less if I tuned to C A D#D C C# and just strummed open strings for an hour as long as they got to touch my guitar while I was doing it.

Actually, the oldest one appreciates music for the most part, he just doesn't know most of what I play. He gets a kick out of it when I make up lyrics for him on the spot though.

martind gibsona · #9 09-08-2009, 06:05 PM

My wife and I have an agreement -- she doesn't tell me what songs to play and I don't tell her what photographs to take!

Don Smith
Raleigh, NC

Ryler · #10 09-08-2009, 07:55 PM

I can't factor out the quality of my playing when evaluating my husband's response. He doesn't want to hear progress...he wants to hear good. So I am very shy about playing in front of him. However, if I were really good, he and I share a musical sensibility and I think he'd appreciate the music.

vac4873 · #11 09-09-2009, 08:06 PM

I have come to realize that I am one of the most fortunate guitar players on the planet. We both play, both enjoy a wide variety of music, can trade off on rhythm, lead, bass - acoustic or electric, not to mention trading off on vocals, mandolin, harmonica, percussion, etc. It is an amazing blessing to have a spouse that doesn't just enjoy the music I play, she is an important part of the music I play. We trade off weeks as the lead guitar player (electric) on our church's praise and worship team, we team up to lead at a Saturday bible study, and I lead children's worship on acoustic twice a month.

In addition to that, we belong to a local musician's club where we often collaborate with other musicians playing everything from folk to jazz to pop to rock with different combinations of other musicians. We are currently putting together a jazz combo with a terrific singer and saxophone player. I'm playing guitar and Tanya bass. I don't mean this posting to make anyone envious, but just to express how wonderful it is to have a life mate that is also a soul mate and musical mate.

RustyAxe · #12 09-10-2009, 06:37 AM

I don't play for my wife and family very often, and it's usually around a campfire, and that is requests. I play kid songs for the grandkids. My wife likes most of what I play, I think, but she doesn't come out for my gigs unless it's something very special.

I never really considered the question before, because it really doesn't matter to me, I guess.