271 banjo jokes, all at once, take time with this

[darylcrisp]

(disclaimer-i play clawhammer and love it)

these are hilarious-enjoy

http://bluegrassbanjo.org/banjokes.html

a few examples:

What's the difference between a skunk run over on the road and a banjo run over on the road?
You see skid marks in front of the skunk.

What do you call a good musician at a banjo contest? A visitor

Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, a good banjo player, and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? The old drunk, of course, the other three are mythological creatures.

What do you call twenty-five banjos up to their necks in sand [or concrete]? Not enough sand.

What do you call one-hundred banjos at the bottom of the ocean? A good start

When do banjo songs sound the best?
When they're over.

A banjo player walked into a bar…another banjo player walked into the bar…you'd think the second banjo player would have seen what happened to the first banjo player and ducked

What's this: x x x ?
Three banjo players co-signing a loan...

What do you say to the banjo player in the three piece suit? "Will the defendant please rise."

What do you get when you throw a banjo and an accordion off the Empire State Building?
Who Cares…
Applause.

[PTC Bernie]

I had a banjo once.

I left it in the back seat of an unlocked car.

When I came back the were 4 more back there with it!


2.....3......4... But seriously folks!

[jimmy bookout]

What's the definition of "perfect pitch"?

When you toss a banjo into a dumpster and it lands on an accordion.

You're welcome.

[jimmy bookout]

And to show that I'm equal opportunity:

What's the difference between a large pizza and a guitar player?

A large pizza can feed a family of four.


I'll be here all week. Try the veal.

[jimmy bookout]

Hey, I'm rolling (and upping my post count):

How many female singers does it take to sing "Crazy"?

Apparently, every one of them.

Be sure to leave something generous for your servers...

[jimmy bookout]

So, a guitar player locks his keys in the car. It took 2 hours to get the bass player out.

Anyone else?

[ronbo]

What did the banjo player get on his IQ (or SAT) test?...

Drool !!!

[jimmy bookout]

Two anthropologists are deep in the rain forest, exploring with the tribal chief. All the sudden, drums start up from a neighboring tribe. The chief says: "Must go back, drums very bad". The anthropologists insist on continuing on. The drums get louder and chief becomes more agitated: "Must go back, drums louder now". The anthropologists beg the chief to continue deeper into the forest. Reluctantly, he agrees. One mile deeper into the forest and the drums suddenly stop. Now the chief becomes petrified. The anthropologists ask what is wrong and chief replies:" Now, bass solo"

Jimmy

[reckhart]

How do you know if the floor in your living room is level?

The banjo player drools out of both sides of his mouth.

[Monsoon1]

What's the difference between a chainsaw and a banjo?

A chainsaw has dynamic range.

[Monsoon1]

What's the difference between an onion and a banjo?

No one cries when you cut up a banjo.

[Monsoon1]

Why are banjos better than guitars?

They burn longer.

[Fret-O'File]

What do you call a guy who hangs out with a bunch of musicians?


The Drummer.

[steelvibe]

Originally Posted by jimmy bookout

And to show that I'm equal opportunity:

What's the difference between a large pizza and a guitar player?

A large pizza can feed a family of four.


I'll be here all week. Try the veal.

And how do you get a guitar player off of your porch? Pay for the pizza!

[Monsoon1]

What's the difference between getting a root canal or listening to a banjo?

It's cute that you thought there might be a difference.