New Banjo/Guitar/Drummer/Accordian Joke Thread. I'll Start.

[tbeltrans]

...and furthermore...

What's the difference between a guitarist and a pizza
A pizza can feed a family of four.

What's the difference between a rock guitarist and a folk guitarist?
A rock guitarist can play all night without tuning and folk guitarist can tune all night without playing.

What's the difference between a jazz guitarist and a rock guitarist?
A rock guitarist plays 3 chords for 10,000 people nd a jazz guitarist plays 10,000 chords for 3 people.

Tony

[tinnitus]

- I had a drum machine that was so realistic it tried to sleep with my girlfriend.

- How do you make a guitarist turn down? Hand him a sheet of music.

[Richgj3]

Cop walks into a bar to break up a fight. Asks what they are fighting about. One guy says I’m the banjo player here and this guy came up and turned one of the tuners on my banjo.

Cop says is that anything to fight about?

The banjo player says: “He won’t tell me which one he turned”
.

[hubcapsc]

A banjo player leaves his banjo in the back seat of his car and forgets
to lock the door. When he gets back to his car, there's another banjo in there!

-Mike

[Charmed Life Picks]

Originally Posted by hubcapsc

A banjo player leaves his banjo in the back seat of his car and forgets
to lock the door. When he gets back to his car, there's another banjo in there!

-Mike

Mike, this one was already told earlier, but I can't hear it enough. So much truth, so much truth.

[dylanheeg]

Originally Posted by tbeltrans

What's the difference between a jazz guitarist and a rock guitarist?
A rock guitarist plays 3 chords for 10,000 people nd a jazz guitarist plays 10,000 chords for 3 people.

Tony

This is my favorite one [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
Was just about to post it when I saw someone beat me to it.

[dylanheeg]

Originally Posted by Charmed Life Picks

“A gentleman is someone who can play the accordion, but doesn't.” -- Tom Waits

[emoji3516][emoji3516][emoji3516][emoji3516] haha [emoji23]

[dylanheeg]

What’s the definition of a drummer?

A guy who hangs around with musicians.

[Ozzy the dog]

Q. What is the difference between a savings bond and a guitarist?
A. Eventually a savings bond will mature and earn money.

Q. What do you call a guitar that never finishes a job?
A. a quitar.

Q. Why are so many guitar player jokes one liners?
A. So the rest of the band can understand them.

Q. What’s God’s favourite chord?
A. Gsus.

[hubcapsc]

Originally Posted by Charmed Life Picks

Mike, this one was already told earlier, but I can't hear it enough. So much truth, so much truth.

Oops... I thought I read them all... enjoying this thread...

[FOG01]

What did the bass player get on his ACT score?

Drool.

[tbeltrans]

Originally Posted by dylanheeg

This is my favorite one [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
Was just about to post it when I saw someone beat me to it.

I do like those lush 10,000 chords though. So I am often one of those 3 people if I am not playing those chords myself.

Tony

[RJVB]

Originally Posted by tbeltrans

What's the difference between a jazz guitarist and a rock guitarist?
A rock guitarist plays 3 chords for 10,000 people nd a jazz guitarist plays 10,000 chords for 3 people.

So true

Good thing I forgot most of my orchestral jokes as they might have been considered off-topic. But here's two I do remember:

Q. What do you do with a dead viola player?
A. Move him/her a row further back.

Q. How does a soprano screw in a light bulb?
A. Just hold it up; the world spinning around her does the rest.

[ghostnote]

A guy had no musical talent, so the band handed him 2 sticks and made him the drummer. Then he lost one of the sticks, so they made him the conductor.

[RJVB]

Originally Posted by ghostnote

the conductor.

A small boy is taken to the Met by his parents, to see the Famous Philharmonic perform under a Great Conductor. He is so awed and inspired that he gets his parents to take him see the great man after the concert, to tell him that he wants to be like him when he is big and grown up. The old man is moved and somewhat amused so he takes the boy apart, writes something on a little piece of paper, folds it up. "This is the advice my master gave me; mind it but never show it to anyone else. Work hard, and you'll become a Great Conductor like I am, one day."

The boy does as told, keeps the paper with him at all times, studies conducting, works hard, and his star indeed rises. But before ever performance, even after he's become a Great Conductor conducting Famous Philharmonics, he still takes that piece of paper out of his pocket, unfolds it, reads the words attentively, folds it back up and pockets it ... and goes on to conduct yet another acclaimed performance. Until one day he has a stroke right there at the stands, falls down and never gets up anymore. His faithful concertmaster jumps down to help, and since nothing can be done finally graps his chance to elucidate the mystery of that tattered slip of wonder paper. He finds it, unfolds it, and reads

"Small violins to the left. Big violins to the right."