The Day That Grammar Died

[Cole Allen]

I'm playing my D1 Authentic in this video. It sounds incredible when it's not going through a crappy Samsung phone mic. This song is a little odd, but I'm sharing this because I thought some of y'all might enjoy it.
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"The Day That Grammar Died"

Through the swinging doors
Of the Literacy Lounge
Walked Grammar
With his guns hanging down
He stepped up to the bar
Said, "I'm looking for some information
On the woman I love
Her name is Punctuation
She was kidnapped by a gang of illiterates
Just the other day
I'm hot on their trail
And here to make them pay."

"Did you read the sign on the door
Before you walked in?"
Said the girl behind the bar
Red hair, tall, and thin
She said, "My name's Sarcasm
And we don't serve illiterates here
But I can help you find her."
As she poured him a beer

She talked over the band
As Onomatopoeia thumped the bass
And said, "The bar belongs to Symbolism
And it once was a nice place
Then the illiterates moved in
And put all the patrons out of work
And that's how we got to where we are now"
As she rolled her eyes with a smirk

There were bottles of prose and poetry
Collecting dust on the shelf
Soliloquy was in the corner
Just talking to himself
Alliteration, always alone
Sat staring at her phone
Simile was drunk as a skunk
Trying to take her home

Sorrow sipped her gin and
Puffed on a smoke
Hand in hand with Humor
As he cracked a dirty joke
Allusion kept quoting movies
That no one seemed to know
Grammar had seen enough and
Knew it was time to go

Sarcasm mentioned a bar
On the wrong side of town
Where Grammar just might find
The illiterates hanging around
Foreshadowing was nearby
With his far away stare
And he warned Grammar to stay
Far away from there
But passion is irrational and
Pride doesn't back down
So grammar tipped his hat
And headed across town

refrain
Put another feather in Allegory's hat
Idiom said indifference was the one who killed the cat
Grammar without Punctuation
Is like a movie without scenes
In the end, no one knows what it means
In the end, no one knows what it means

The structure was in shambles
At the Syntax Saloon
And Grammar was disgusted
As he entered the room
There were syringes of pop culture
Facebook posts in a bong
And people snorting lines
140 characters long

Grammar whipped out his pistol
And fired off a round
The whole bar stopped
At the shattering sound
The villain Vernacular
Appeared at the top of the stairs
Pulling Punctuation behind him
By her long, parenthesis hair
She was tattered and torn
Shame etched in her face
From constantly being misused
And being misplaced

Grammar was full of fire and fury
At the frightful sight
And against better judgment
Challenged Vernacular to a fight
"A duel in the street
May the best man win."
Said Vernacular
Through a sly, sinister grin
You see, Grammar was predictable
Always following his rules
He played right into the trap
Outnumbered 1 to 100 fools

Eyes locked and hammers cocked
Vernacular spit onto the ground
You could cut the tension with a knife
As the illiterates gathered around
Grammar gave a passionate speech
In an act of despair
Pleading for Punctuation
But no one seemed to care

Vernacular hollered and cursed
Ineloquently profane
The illiterates whooped and cheered
Much to Grammar's disdain
The ruckus they raised
Turned into a deafening roar
And out on the horizon
A cloud of dust began to form

He belittled Punctuation
And her pretentious partner
As the ground began to shake
And the sky grew darker
A stampede of run-on sentences
He'd summoned to the street
And before Grammar knew it
He was trampled beneath their feet.

Put another feather in Allegory's hat
Idiom said indifference was the one who killed the cat
Life without Punctuation
Is like a movie without scenes
In the end, no one knows what it means

Put another feather in Allegory's hat
Idiom said indifference was the one who killed the cat
A metaphor without merit
So it seems
Because in the end, no one knows what it means
In the end, no one knows what it means
In the end, no one knows what it means

[Pitar]

Then, in a blaze of tangled hoofs he galloped off across the dusty plain, in vain to search again, where no one will hear.

[6 Strings MI]

Having read the lyrics but not viewed the video, I'm not sure what genre that would be best suited to...but I like it.

[Cole Allen]

Originally Posted by 6 Strings MI

Having read the lyrics but not viewed the video, I'm not sure what genre that would be best suited to...but I like it.

minor key talking blues

[Cole Allen]

Originally Posted by Pitar

Then, in a blaze of tangled hoofs he galloped off across the dusty plain, in vain to search again, where no one will hear.

I almost ended it with:
now in 2020
the day's of grammer is threw
people dont think it be like it is
but it do

I decided the song was already cheesy enough, so I left it out.

[Brent Hahn]

Originally Posted by Cole Allen

I almost ended it with:
now in 2020
the day's of grammer is threw
people dont think it be like it is
but it do

I decided the song was already cheesy enough, so I left it out.

The character named Spelling winds up on the cutting room floor. In the movie, I hope it's Quentin Tarantino.

[capefisherman]

Man, that's a lotta werds!

[Cole Allen]

Originally Posted by Brent Hahn

The character named Spelling winds up on the cutting room floor. In the movie, I hope it's Quentin Tarantino.

Spelling was murdered by the illiterates long before Grammar. Maybe I can write a prequel for that. If I can afford him, I'm going to try and get a friend of mine to make a cartoon video for this song.

[Deliberate1]

Wicked erudite and well done, Cole.
David

[Brent Hahn]

Just wanted to pop back in and say how impressed I am. Being that clever and having such an epic story, maybe you could serialize it like "Outlander."

[Lkristians]

Way cool, Cole!

Best,
LarryK.

[macmanmatty]

Grammar? All of my sentences are either run-ons or