Need advice on getting in-law with Alzheimer's into nursing home in USA

[rokdog49]

Originally Posted by Neil K Walk

That’s about what I’d expect from the VA. If I point that out to people I’m told I’m a “trump” - but that’s how the government functions: slow, if at all. I’m fully expecting my own mother will be burning through her savings.

That’s basically what has happened to my Dad.
He would have had sufficient funds to meet his current rent payment for at least another year had he gotten the pension health expense benefit he qualified for in a timely manner. Furthermore, the facility has already given him a substantial discount in his third year of residency but his S.S. income and current VA pension is not enough to even meet the reduced rent.
The likelihood is that our family will now have to come up with difference until my Dad passes. This is not a huge burden for all of us but that’s not the point. At 94 and him being a decorated WW II combat vet, you would hope he could get what he has earned.
BTW, the paperwork required to apply for this “extra benefit” is a nightmare.

[Blueser100]

Originally Posted by agfsteve

Yes, between the two of them they have both financial and medical POA, although I'm not sure who has which one.

Sorry to hear you are going through this and that your mom is struggling. I looked after mom's last five years at home with dementia (she had hospice the last two and a private caregiver) and if it weren't for the medical POA my brother had her sign 20 years ago, I couldn't have made the hundreds of decisions regarding her care. I highly recommend getting a copy of it and reading it to see what is outlined in terms of her rights, her wishes, and the decision making power of the children.

[Neil K Walk]

Originally Posted by rokdog49

That’s basically what has happened to my Dad.
He would have had sufficient funds to meet his current rent payment for at least another year had he gotten the pension health expense benefit he qualified for in a timely manner. Furthermore, the facility has already given him a substantial discount in his third year of residency but his S.S. income and current VA pension is not enough to even meet the reduced rent.
The likelihood is that our family will now have to come up with difference until my Dad passes. This is not a huge burden for all of us but that’s not the point. At 94 and him being a decorated WW II combat vet, you would hope he could get what he has earned.
BTW, the paperwork required to apply for this “extra benefit” is a nightmare.

I'm sorry to hear that.

FWIW I count myself as being lucky that my mother tends to be "frugal" otherwise and that while she's been eccentric her entire life she still maintains a semblance of self sufficiency. If she cannot afford to live where she is for more than 2 years I know of at least one alternative that is more affordable. She was already dealing with HUD but this opportunity came up and we felt it was a better deal for her.

[AGF_Rita]

Hi all,

Thanks so much for the comments and suggestions.

Here is what I stumbled upon, on my own, and it's going to be a relief but also annoying that no one told me earlier, if it works:

I decided to write the state of Indiana and ask them if I could skip everyone and just apply for Medicaid through them, and the answer was yes. We found a home that accepts Medicaid and has a bed available and has almost 5 stars on Medicare's website for inspections. (Every nursing home in the country is inspected)

So I applied for Medicaid and will have my interview tomorrow to see if she qualifies (must have had less than $2,000 to her name as of July 1, 2020 and make only a certain amount of money). IF she qualifies (and she should), the home simply admits her and then the home will bill my mom's insurance and Medicare for the first 90 days of care. Then Meicaid will cover her form then on. If my mom's insurance or Medicare doesn't cover her for some absurd reason, Medicaid pays it all.

No one, NO ONE I have spoken to since last September offered this as a suggestion. Only after I called the state of Indiana, did someone in the Medicaid office tell me this. None of my mom's doctors, or any of the nursing homes I have spoken to previously, offered this information, or maybe didn't even understand how this works.

So hopefully this is correct and does work. But it means we only stumbled upon the fact that Meicaid will supposedly cover her no matter what, and she doesn't need her insurance to approve, and she doesn't need a 3 day hospital stay. All I had to do apparently was fill out a Medicaid application with the state she lives in. Fingers crossed this is accurate...

[Blueser100]

Originally Posted by seannx

If you can get some help in, with the right people, it can make a huge difference. I have friends taking care of the wife’s mother, and they have someone coming 6 hours a day. Otherwise it’s just too overwhelming.

There are some things that can help, like visual aids and one on one time visiting the past through photo albums, but it’s so hard seeing someone who lived a very independent life always on her terms, for the most part gone and confused. We made signs for the rooms, including her bathroom in the MBR, because she wouldn’t remember where it was.

I hope you are able to get the best support network, including in home care as far as the $$ will go...and unless someone has personal experience they have no clue how hard it can be for caregivers.

I concur with this though I realize it's not an option for everyone. I was that caregiver/coordinator for my mother for the past 5-6 years of her Alzheimer's struggle, until her passing last Nov. 2019. She had the means, and luckily she had in-home hospice the final two years. Indeed, it is hard, even with an additional paid live-in. I am taking this time of stay-at-home reality to get my life back.

[Blueser100]

Originally Posted by Neil K Walk

The facility my mother is in altered their pricing in response to COVID which is partly why she has been able to move in. We're talking a decrease in nearly $1000 a month - as well as the discovery that she was eligible for additional VA benefits because my father served during Korea.

That is good news.